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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stalking?

58 replies

CrimsonSkies · 09/08/2018 07:58

Bit of a strange one and namechanged on the off chance his partner or family use this.

I had a hairdressers appointment at a new salon 3 months ago for my birthday. It was a full head of colour (bleach) and toning. The hairdresser did not put anything on my scalp (oils etc) to protect it before applying bleach. Needless to say it was horrifically burnt and bleeding when I got home. I got a full refund after 2 or 3 days which was good. I also had wonderful thick hair but the burns on my scalp made it all fall out so it’s thinning so badly now with a fair few baldness patches.

I am still suffering and am waiting for medical check up on it as it’s fairly hard to get an appointment just for your scalp! I hadn’t washed my hair for two days prior like usual when bleaching it so it should have been fine. Clearly the bleach was too strong or something. I have dyed/bleached my hair multiple times over the past 20 years and this has never happened. I am considering sueing if there is permanent damage and made them aware of that when I asked for the refund. My hair is a very important feature to me and all of this could have been easily avoided if the hairdresser had proper training.

I run a successful visual arts business and am very well known with people my age in my community and other cities. I have an Instagram where I showcase my work and I posted a story on there the other day (which I rarely every do). I usually look once or twice to skim through who’s seen it as my profile is public. Low and behold the hairdresser had found my instagram and watched the story. I screenshotted it just incase. He doesn’t follow me so will have to be going out of his way to look at my profile each day.

I posted another item on my story today to test my theory that he is stalking me and obviously can’t let go of some hard feelings as he may of been fired after the incident as it was really serious. He watched it and I’m really unsure about what he is expecting to find? Me slagging him off? I didn’t even leave a bad review, it’s a waste of my time. I’m also bewildered that he’s stupid enough to think I can’t tell he’s looking at it. Or maybe he wants me to see that he’s watching what I’m doing? AIBU or is this mild stalking? Should I inform the salon of his behaviour? It’s a bit excessive to be looking 3 months after you have had an incident with the client!

OP posts:
SurferRona · 09/08/2018 08:25

As Edith said I reckon he's monitoring your posts for evidence that the consequences of the chemical burn are not as you might describe them in any future claim ie that it hasn't had such a bad impact on your personal or professional life and therefore should be awarded a smaller amount. I bet he's screenshotting and saving. Have you checked other SM accounts? And yes, I think this is a bit stalky....

Move2WY · 09/08/2018 08:27

Looking at someone’s profile on Instagram who you don’t follow is not equal to stalking. You’re attempting to sue the person, of course they are going to check on you.

Also accusing them of ruining your life is extremely melodramatic.

You sound overly dramatic. Definitely suited to the visual arts.

FASH84 · 09/08/2018 08:27

This thread seems fake. You are apparently a model, and this incident has affected your career, yet you've taken no action.... Hmm. Also our is a public profile, he's monitoring a situation that could affect his business, it is not stalking. Do you want it to be? Would that make you feel more famous?

Singlenotsingle · 09/08/2018 08:30

Of course there's an element of compensation for pain and suffering Zoe. What are you talking about?

Strongmummy · 09/08/2018 08:30

@crimson, seriously, get off the internet. If you actually want to sue go and take legal advice. If you recognise you’re overly anxious because of past experience get counselling. Coming on MN asking what you should do, reliving the event etc...etc...will not help.

Original poster
CrimsonSkies · 09/08/2018 08:30

Well ironically the story he did see stated ‘I’ve been incredibly ill and unable to work, sorry to any clients etc etc’ but it was unrelated to my hair I’ve just been really ill as well. I haven’t worked since the incident but mainly for other reasons. So he might think I’m talking about my hair and has relayed this back to solicitor. They fully refunded me and it was very expensive so I am not really interested in sueing unless there is any irreparable damage as it will definitely close their salon. I was in a lot of pain, I couldn’t really do anything for the first week or so and it’s scarred me but I don’t think sueing is really worth it

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimsonSkies · 09/08/2018 08:32

Please guys, for the 4th time, i don’t want to sue. The hairdressers are very aware of this too! I’m just bewildered at the situation

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimsonSkies · 09/08/2018 08:33

Fake? I can post more pics of burns. Well it’s nice to know my situation is that shocking it could be fakeGrin I haven’t taken any action because they are a small salon, they have already refunded without qualms and quite frankly without blowing my own trumpet I don’t need the damn money!

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimsonSkies · 09/08/2018 08:35

Dramatic.. visual arts? When I work with musicians? I don’t see the connection between drama and music but okay

OP posts:
Original poster
CrimsonSkies · 09/08/2018 08:38

Right so I’m melodramatic for someone horrifically burning (2nd or possibly 3rd degree burns) not on but through my scalp with some serious bleach and scarring me for life with bald patches isn’t ruining my life? So if someone threw bleach on my face and it scarred my face would that be any different? Just because you can’t see it until close up doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me

OP posts:
SirGawain · 09/08/2018 08:41

If you are, not unreasonably, thinking of taking legal action, it’s not a good idea to play it out on social media it might well prejudice your case.

Tinkobell · 09/08/2018 08:41

If you don't like it, just block him.

ZoeWashburne · 09/08/2018 08:43

@Singlenotsingle There are Pecuniary losses and Non-Pecuniary losses.

Pecuniary losses are tangible losses (ie: work pay). Technically, yes there are Non- Pecuniary losses but these are capped at such a low level, especially PSLA, (she would probably not get more than £1000) that the court/ Solicitors fees would be several times this.

Therefore it is not financially viable to sue for pain and suffering unless it is very serious.

TheBigFatMermaid · 09/08/2018 08:43

Why are you so convinced suing would close their salon? Surely they have insurance, which would cover this?

Also, do you have a successful visual arts business, or are you model?

The 'burns' in the pic, honestly look like not bites gone bad to me and I have seen someone with chemical burns from hair dye.

Are you sure you're not an actress, as there is more than a touch of the dramatic in this thread?

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 09/08/2018 08:45

Why is everyone being so unsympathetic?

It is awful what has happened to you and personally I would think of suing, small business or not. He wasn’t properly trained. Putting bleach on people’s scalp isn’t kids’ play.

I know you say it’s not worth it but I think you should.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 09/08/2018 08:47

This is not stalking. If you post photos onto a public media account, you can expect people (the public generally) to view it. You don’t get to pick and choose. Yabu.

Singlenotsingle · 09/08/2018 08:49

Of course youre right to be upset when you go to a professional, and place your trust in them, and this happens. It must have been very painful and scary. I suppose I'm just a bit surprised you went to a "small" hairdresser, and even more surprised that they employed someone who didn't know the basic requirements of health and safety. They will have insurance against this sort of thing though so I doubt the business will close down.

FASH84 · 09/08/2018 08:55

OP: Is this stalking?
All other posters: no, these are reasons why he might check your social media
OP: But I just can't get my head around it. Let me tell you more about what successful model I am (insert fake bragging) 🙄😂

dancingthroughthedark · 09/08/2018 08:57

I have recently been helping a friend through a work issue, as part of this she requested a SAR, this showed that the business she had worked for had been regularly monitoring her social media and there were a number of emails with screen shots of things she had written, nothing particularly relevant to her case but it would seem that it is something that might happen in order to find out your next move as it were. The emails and screen shots were over several months.

FilthyforFirth · 09/08/2018 08:57

Seems like you are hoping he is stalking you. Very odd thread.

Strongmummy · 09/08/2018 09:01

The burns (which should never have happened in the first place) don’t look that bad now and you say they are healing, which is good news. However, One minute you say you don’t want to sue the next you’re still considering it. One minute you work in the visual arts (see your OP) next you’re a model who works with musicians. I’m sorry that it happened, but i think you are getting a hard time as your inconsistencies and melodrama are not particularly endearing.

BPenelope96 · 09/08/2018 09:07

If you didn't want people viewing your Insta story, your account should be private. It's like putting up a poster in the town center and complaining because people are looking at it...

This has the gravity to end his career so obviously would look...

OctaviaOctober · 09/08/2018 09:09

Looking at someone's public instagram is not stalking. For a moment you made me feel a bit paranoid about some of the people I follow! If I look at their new pics/stories it's because I'm interested in what they're doing or like how they look. It's on a par with twitter and pinterest to me. In your case he may be keeping an eye on your account because he's afraid you'll get him in trouble with your followers? Unless you felt intimidated by him in person, there's no reason to think he's stalking you.

FlintyBadman · 09/08/2018 09:19

No I wouldn't count that as stalking. Your profile is public so anyone can take a look at it, I don't think he's done anything wrong.

If it's any consolation I've caused far worse/bigger chemical burns to my scalp than that with home bleaching and my hair has grown back fine so hopefully yours will too.

I imagine it's a bit difficult getting work as a model with 3 months worth of roots showing though!

Singlenotsingle · 09/08/2018 09:21

Zoe Let's not argue about this. Just agree to disagree, eh?