To ask if you are a guest in someone's house, do you cook at any point?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Say you're staying with a close relative for a week- a parent, sibling, adult child etc. What do you do around cooking - do you expect a cooked meal watch night or do you offer to cook at some point, or do you go out/get a takeaway in the evening? Also, would you offer to buy/pay for food?

It would depend on whether they want you to cook, wouldn't it? If someone likes their kitchen to themselves, they might not want a visitor to cook (especially if they're not the best at cleaning up after themselves.)

I stay with my mum for 1-2 weeks in the summer, I just say I’ll sort dinner and buy it and cook it without asking. But her house used to be my home so I don’t feel weird doing that as I would have done that when I lived there.

When she visits us she offers but I always say no as I’m happy to do it, we sometimes cook together and she’ll chip in for some shopping. I expect she doesn’t feel like she can just take over as this isn’t her home. Although I do tell her to crack on if she wants anything.

If I stay with anyone for a few days, friends of family, I'd take them out to a good restaurant for a meal, at least once
I wouldn't offer to cook, or buy food - seems off, somehow
Might bring a bottle of wine too, if they drink

They would do the same when staying with me

Normally, staying with someone is reciprocated, so they'd stay with me next time
So, I don't feel more than a restauarnt meal is necessary

However, depends what the norm is in your family / social circle.

I would definitely want to pay towards the food, though. It's a lot to have someone staying for a week.

At my mums; I cook. Often I bring frozen meals that I have batched cooked with me and defrost them (my mum hates cooking, bless her). Anyone else, I would offer to buy a takeaway or take them out for a meal

Would always offer to contribute towards food!

Always offer to cook or get a takeaway in, if they refuse offer some other form of help (washing up, laying table etc)

I really hate it when guests offer to cook when staying. This has happened quite a few times and they’ve usually very insistent (and I always give in). It makes me feel like I’ve been a bad host and it doesn’t help me relax to have other people in my kitchen. If it was my mum then I wouldn’t mind.

I agree, @AFigTree. It's different if it's my kids cooking, but I wouldn't want a guest cooking. It's nothing to do with being a bad host, it's just I see my kitchen as my space, like my bedroom!

If I was visiting my kids I'd buy a load of alcohol and treat food, and treat them to a takeaway and a meal out.

I stayed with DM this last weekend and cooked a meal. I would definitely offer or take everyone out if staying more than 1 or at a push 2 nights

This situation has soooooo many variables....

Who is the better cook?
Are the hosts comfortable giving over / sharing the space?
Does anyone enjoy cooking?
Is there any financial disparity?
Any allergies or foodie issues?

Etc etc

My DH is a great cook, and he loves to cook for people. Often when we visit, we take gifts of food. And I'll sou chef (do the boring jobs) and wash up.

With family it's often easier to negotiate honestly, I find.

I wouldn’t like a long term guest cooking in my kitchen for some reason.

Although my best friend and I have no qualms cooking at each other’s houses!

It depends on the relationship you have and how at home you are at their house. Lots of people wouldn't want you rummaging around their kitchen (even if you bought the ingredients you'll still need their oil, seasonings etc.). I would usually offer to buy take away for us all or take us out for a meal at least once.

I don't offer to cook just because I'd feel I was somehow invading their space though I certainly help with prep/cleaning up. We always either take everyone out for a meal or order takeaway for all, depending on what suits the host. Sometimes both.

I don't offer to pay for food as in handing over money to the host, I'd personally find that wierd and uncomfortable but I'm Irish, it's not the done thing. We much prefer to get into a pushing, pulling, elbowing battle to be first to shove money at the cashier/waiter .

We always pick up extras in the local shop or supermarket such as bread, milk, nice nibbles, treats for hosts dc and of course booze. Also, offer to babysit to give the hosts a night out child free. We've been told we're good guests and are regularly invited back.

It depends, and the most important thing is whether the host wants me to cook!

If I visit my sister, I will normally cook at least one night. Usually we end up cooking together.
If I visit my mum, I wont because I wouldn't be allowed in the kitchen! Dm and step dad get very angsty about "kids" cooking in their kitchen - I'm barely allowed to use the toaster, maybe because decades agao when I was 12 I wrecked a pan or something....

When visiting in laws, I would normally ask what I can do to help (and happily pitch in) but would not take over the kitchen as I know this would be very irritating, and that MIL would already have meals etc planned out.
At friends houses, I might cook a meal or I might just offer to help out depending on who it was.

Agree, it depends on both the person and the relationship. In my parents' house - which used to be my home - I would usually cook one night. Something we would take it in turns for each couple to cook/ wash up one night. In someone else's house I might feel they didn't want me to cook, but would try to contribute in other ways.
In my own house, the kitchen is really tiny and very disorganised and it stresses me out when other people try to cook in there. I can hear them banging around and I imagine they are thinking how chaotic it is. I also don't really want them to help me when I am cooking as there is not enough room for us to be in there together. I prefer to go out with people! Though obviously that's not always possible. It's nice to feel that someone wants to contribute though - washing up, bringing wine, whatever.

I would offer to cook, certainly. And in any case would always help with cleanup, etc.

I don't cook, will often bring wine/snacks with us, try and pay for a small shop and often cover a takeaway. My family usually do the same. I guess it is what works for you and your hosts.

I cook at my mums and I’m delighted if she cooks at mine. I constantly offer to help my MIL but it’s tarely accepted. I haven’t offered to cook at hers because I think she’s find it intrusive, she doesn’t cook at mine but we do go out for dinnnwr whichever house we are staying at or sometimes get a takeaway.

If I stay with my mum then I don’t offer to pay for food but I do help with preparing and clearing up after dinner. Same with my sister but I would offer to pay towards food if I was there longer than 2-3 nights

No, I wouldn’t cook. More than two days and I would offer to buy a take away. I would always take booze.

I don't stay with people for more than a couple of nights but I would always offer to pay for a takeaway or a meal out. I'm quite a good cook but a lot my guests insisted on cooking when they stayed. I think it's because I was running a 7 day a week pub-type business so they were being very kind to give me a rest but I began to get a bit of a complex!

I wouldn’t offer to,cook a whole meal. However, I would always offer my help in the kitchen, and help to,clear up.

I always cook a takeaway (not a brill cook).

Totally depends who it is. Most of my older relatives wouldn’t want anyone cooking in their houses (Irish aunties! 😆), so instead I always wash up and clean the table and make tea afterwards etc.

With friends, I’d always offer to cook at least once or pay for a meal out.