To ask if you are a guest in someone's house, do you cook at any point?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Say you're staying with a close relative for a week- a parent, sibling, adult child etc. What do you do around cooking - do you expect a cooked meal watch night or do you offer to cook at some point, or do you go out/get a takeaway in the evening? Also, would you offer to buy/pay for food?

Offer to pay for food and to cook but if they decline then so be it.

It depends on the friend. It depends how long I/we are staying for.

TBH I love cooking more than most of my friends so I just ask what they'd like to do (and they know I like cooking) and if they want me to cook I just cook. Plus i'll take them out for dinner if it's a long weekend scenario

I may not always cook but I always clean. I actually like cleaning so it's not a problem. I've been caught illicitly mopping kitchen floors before now after washing up and cleaning the worksurfaces. People have got used to that. I think they might have thought I was being critical originally. Now they all know I just like to clean.

If i have guests for a week i dont allow them to cook as i am the host so i feed them, and yes we usually go out to eat at least once , as a guest in someones house i will ask if they need a hand with peeling spuds, making a brew etc but wouldnt cook the whole meal as i dont know where kitchen stuff is how their cooker works, but would definitely take the hoss out for a meal just before going home

My brother in law and sister in law stay with us for about a week every year when they come back. The first few visits they insisted on cooking, Christ it was irritating - the faffing about, the insistence that we would like what they cooked because we had obviously never had authentic

thats hosts not hoss lol

For family, I cook. (But I'm a better cook by far 😂)

Everyone else, I'll offer to help clean up but won't offer to cook. I will cook of they all tho.

If I stay with my mum I’ll cook for us all sometimes because neither she or her partner enjoy cooking much. I’ll usually convince her to make one of my childhood favourites though

If I stay with my dad I’ll help him cook (peel veg etc) but he enjoys cooking and is much better than me so I wouldn’t do a meal for everyone there.

I often stay with my best friend and her parents and I’ll always help my friend cook and occasionally cook for us all on my own or with her helping me.

*if they ask

It depends on whose house.

Most of the people I stay with actively wouldn’t want anyone else cooking in their kitchen. I certainly offer to help with meal prep though (most people are happy for you to peel and chop!)

I don’t “expect” a meal every night though, I buy takeaways and pay for meals out to take pressure off the host. I also make sure I pay for groceries if it’s a long stay.

I also always offer to clear/wash up/load dishwasher/clean kitchen because that’s the help that I most appreciate when we host.

We live in the US and regularly have friends come and stay 2-3 weeks with us.

Our absolute favourite guests always:

Thank me for the meal
Clear/wash up/load dishwasher
Clean the kitchen

The whole family pitches in, both adults and their kids so it takes hardly any time.

My least favourite guest waits until they hear the dishwasher switch on to say “would you like any help” and then requests another coffee.

I'd buy take away/meal out but then maybe sort lunch one day, just something easy like sandwiches that isn't going to feel like you're intruding in their space somehow.

I think it depends on the person, I love to be cooked for but I know some people can be control freaks. I would offer.

As others say, it depends...

At my parents house I offer to cook a lot (because edible healthy meals aren’t really their thing). Whereas PIL’s would be horrified at that, and very much are the hosts, who provide meals. (We take wine, flowers, etc... but it would be hard to take enough to make up for their generosity.) Also, PIL won’t let me lift a finger, and it’s only DH who is allowed to help load the dishwasher. It’s brilliant!

I'd certainly offer to help prepare meals, offer to pay for the supermarket shop, offer to make a meal or more than one meal depending on stay.

I would not sit in a chair, if it was a stay of a few days or weeks, and expect to be served food and drink. That would be rude.

I cook wherever I stay, they expect it of me. I don't take flowers or gifts I rock up with ingredients and make a meal.

A few of my closest friends don't like to cook and encourage me to cook for them as I love to cook and they love my food. My friend who also loves to cook, I'd ply with wine and chocolate rather than cook, and it pay for a takeaway depending on how long we were staying.

Before I became ill I was a chef and then ran a food business with my dh. I obviously enjoy cooking and find it annoyingly to have people trying to help me prepare a meal. I sometimes reluctantly let folks peel potatoes etc. I'm not even keen on them helping with clearing up because everything ends up in the wrong place.
Table clearing and setting is about the level of help I'd accept before I became ill.

When we go to other people's houses we offer to help. Some politely decline and others have had us doing a BBQ for the whole evening!

Guest who have stayed with us usually always offer to help, they clear the table, dry dishes, chop veg/make a salad etc and pay for/chip in for a takeaway.

I don't cook when I visit my family - but I do tend to do the shopping and pay for everyone's food. Or take them out to dinner.

When my mum or sister come to me they generally cook - but they both enjoy cooking.

First day and night the host always cooks and cleans up. After I'm properly settled and having observed the etiquette of the host I will most likely end up being in charge of breakfast and swap lunch daily and never cook dinner. That is who I am. I'm an early bird this can only be troublesome if I encounter another early bird. I do not expect my guests to cook dinner but help is always appreciated.

With buying food, I might end up buying small things like bread and milk if it finishes unexpectedly quick.

As a host, I wouldn't expect guests to cook, buy food or pay for meals out.

As a guest... i would feel awkward offering money for food. I take lots of gifts instead. But would depend how long I'm there for as i never tend to visit longer than one or two nights.

At Xmas I leave my mum a wad of cash to pay for all the Xmas food (as she's widow/pensioner and lots of family come over for cmas ) I hide it so she finds it a week later and can't give me it back

I wouldn’t cook but I’d pay for a takeaway or a meal out one evening.

I've cooked in my mums house and in my sisters house, but try to avoid cooking in my dcs houses as I feel uncomfortable doing so. No reason for feeling like this though as I'm sure they'd want me to. But I would need to be asked directly to do so.

Yes I’d do a breakfast and a lunch and a take away dinner at some point in the affair

I ask because my mum is here and when she arrived yesterday she said how much she was looking forward to being cooked for all week. I have two small kids, one of whom has a broken elbow, and I'm also at work 3 days this week (she booked the trip last minute, I've just started a new job so couldn't get the time off) so I thought she may have offered one night, as she loves to cook!

Also, we went to Asda yesterday and she bought things that she can't get where she lives (abroad) like greeting cards in English, nice pants etc, as well as snacky treats for herself. I put 2 bottles of pop in her trolley, worth £2 in total, and she put a divider between her shopping and the pop to let me know I had to pay for it. I thought she could have treated me to £2 worth of pop!

Then again tonight she says she wants a Chinese as she misses them where she lives. The one nearest doesn't take card and I had no cash on me, and nearest cash machine is ages away so I said I'd have to make a detour before picking it up. She said "it's ok I've got cash and you can pay me back tomorrow".

What's more is that she's moaning about the quality of food we have. She likes the posh tinned tomatoes, whereas I just buy the bog standard 50p tins from Asda (because there's no difference) and she's also turned her nose up because I use a Schwartz packet to make spaghetti Bolognese (because it's delicious and easier).However whenever we've popped out to the shops she's asked to get her some coffee (we have none in as we don't drink), Dr Pepper etc but offered no money. This wouldn't usually annoy me at all, but the fact that she's been so stingy herself makes it very annoying. We are not hard up by any means but neither is she and really it's the principle of it.

I just think she's being rude and a bit tight really.

I'm a better cook than my sister (the only person I ever stay with) so I always cook for them. Just once during my stay. It's a treat for me because she has a lovely huge kitchen and an aga (modern version) so it's a real pleasure!

Well I think in this case, it depends on whether your mum ever has you to stay and provides all the food and so on. If so she might just think the host does it all and that seems fair. If not then have a word before resentment sets in and say you would really appreciate her help especially since she is such a great cook and you miss her cooking and would like GC to try her food.