To think DH should not go to work

[MortgageConfusion]

I have D&V. DH due to leave for work at 2. I would manage then til bedtime with the aid of CBeebies. But DS2 (13 months) seems to have acquired an ear infection. He’s constantly screaming and pulling his ear. He is prone to them and has already had a perforated eardrum. GP can’t see him til later this afternoon - I can’t takr him because I don’t want to infect everyone else in the surgery, and can barely walk the length of the flat atm, never mind drive. FIL who would usually help is stranded at home waiting for a car part. AIBU to think DH just needs to not go in, at least til after he’s taken DS2 to the doctor? It’s not fair to leave a baby screaming in agony just because he doesn’t want to take any more unexpected time off (we recently had a major childcare issue that meant he took some very short-notice leave, and I had laser eye surgery this Monday so he took yesterday off - again was shortish notice as my date was moved, so he was scrambling a bit for someone to cover.) I do see where he’s coming from but DS2 is in absolute misery and needs to start antibiotics as soon as possible. Nurofen and calpol aren’t touching the sides!

What will the consequences be at work if he doesn't go in? If he doesn't I think he needs to find cover.

DH picking up FIL and FIL using his or my car is a good idea. Not sure if he needs to be in to sign for this thing though - will suggest it. We don’t have anyone else nearby we could ask who isn’t also at work.

They do always prescribe for DS2’s infections as otherwise his eardrum perforates - he’s got tiny narrow little ears and there’s nowhere for anything to drain. Have tried to ask for abx over the phone but apparently they need to check. Even though it’s clearly documented that he gets them every other month and I’ve looked in there and can see he’s got an infection! And we’ve also had them over the phone before .

So you want him to have a job and also want him to drop work regularly for different issues?

Employers can find that a tad problematic. What is his boss like. Who arranges cover? If its your DP, then he has to rely on others goodwill (so it seems from the OP). Does he cover at short notice for others at work?

Ring the GP and ask for a prescription to be sent to your local chemist?

If you have a bug then maybe you should go, because he can give you something, too. Doctor surgeries are for sick people. That after all, is their purpose. People go to doctors if they have a bug, flu, infection, etc. That is what they are there for. Don't worry about infecting people, they probably already have something wrong with them hence why they're there. If you're sick, you go to the doctor. Which is where you should be for yourself, not just your son.

Do you work? How are you juggling time off with your employer? I’m a medical student - currently on a three week break between placements. And work bank HCA shifts so just don’t book any when I need time off.

DH is public sector emergency services - has a specific role so does actually need someone to cover and the person who usually could is on annual leave all month. So it’s not a disciplinary thing more that other people from other areas would need to step in and cover and he feels he’s used up their goodwill lately. Going to see if FIL can use one of our cars, or failing that going to ring the gp back and beg them to prescribe over the phone with a promise one of us will bring him down tomorrow to check we’re not misusing antibiotics!

Don’t get an ambulance for goodness sake. Who would think that was sensible?

An ambulance? To where?

Long term I think you need to sort out ds ears, it's not normal to get an infection every month.

Do you have any friends on mat leave or with school aged dc who might be off?

Ring and be polite but assertive with the surgery. Tell them you are a medical student and also a parent who's seen their child in this condition before. You know what you're doing and you are not abusing antibiotics, you just want your small child to be treated quickly without passing your own infection on to other patients.

So you want him to have a job and also want him to drop work regularly for different issues?

I don’t want him to. Recently - our nursery closed and we had to share covering childcare til we could sort something out. I had arranged laser eye surgery deliberately for his days off, and when the date was changed he told me to crack on and he’d get someone to cover. Today was also not exactly pre-planned. And he does cover for others regularly at short notice. -But actually I do accept he probably needs to go in. It’s just difficult and I need to find a way of getting DS2 started on antibiotics as well because he is miserable.

And I know doctors are for sick people but I definitely do not need to be at the GP spreading my germs about. I have a stomach bug, not something that requires medical attention, just rest and getting rid of it all .

Ambulances aren't taxi substitutes!

Well the idea of calling an ambulance for a vomiting bug and a baby with an ear infection has cheered me up, anyway!

FFS you don’t call an ambulance for D&V or ear infections. No wonder emergency services are overstretched.
OP Id ring the GP again, ask for prescription for today and appointment for tomorrow if necessary, make it clear that you are infectious but will have to attend if they won’t prescribe over the phone - hopefully common sense will prevail.

Salem that’s so weird. What do hospitals do for d&v bugs in your country? There isn’t a way to treat them? I think you’ve made all of that up (about “your country”)

People are waiting hours in some parts of the country for an ambulance for serious conditions like heart attacks and strokes.

We do not call ambulances for D and V's ffs. Nothing to do with being uncivilised and backward, just prioritising when one should be called.

"FFS you don’t call an ambulance for D&V"

YES, you do, actually! At least where I am from. ESPECIALLY if you are on your own caring for a sick infant. It is actually considered a serious condition.

Thank eff I live in a civilised country!

Where is your country Salem?

Sorry Salem thank you for your suggestions - I think it would (hopefully) be unusual here to call an ambulance in these circs!

Update-DH is going to pick FIL up, as apparently he doesn’t need to physically be there for the delivery. Winning!

Excellent news OP.
Nope Salem, I still don’t believe you 🤣

It wouldn't be unusual to call an ambulance in these circumstances it would be bloody idiotic and a waste of precious time and resource.