To cannot believe this Telegraph headline

[BendyBusBuggy]

My first ever AIBU and apologies if this has done before, the headline is two days old, but seriously?? :

Women will have to give up work to look after parents unless EU care workers are given priority after Brexit

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2018/08/05/women-will-have-give-work-look-parents-unless-eu-care-workers here]]

If a woman does give up her job to care for an elderly relative what happens after that relative dies.

I will answer my own question The carer will probably have to go on Universal Credit. and go without for weeks while waiting for money. Thats the thanks youll get!

You can claim Carers Allowance for 8 weeks after you stop being a carer .

After that it stops and so...........UC and all that entails.

So to add to Batteries post there is also a time limit on grieving...................when you are poorer.

For an awful lot of families, it simply won't be viable for someone to give up a full-time salary to care for an elderly relative.

With carer's allowance now less than 8 hours at national living wage, housing costs rising (rents have risen by 1-3% a year for several years) and other inflationary pressures, who'll be able to afford it?

TBF I read the headline as saying 'Women are likely to bear a disproportionate burden', as that was a finding of the research, not 'women must do all the unpaid care'.

It won't even be an option for one person to give up FT work so there goes the 'women will have to give up work'. As Lakie says, all the guilt in the world will not pay rent or feed your kids, if you're stuck between jacking in FT work for demented MIL and feeding your kids, you'll have to choose the latter, and where will you put demented MIL in your two-bed flat with 2 kids already sharing a room? And a LL who won't allow it. I get that in Torygraph land, everyone lives a mortgage free 3-bed + room house and can survive on 1 wage, but in reality it cannot be done for a great many people.

And in those families, MIL will die.

The chances are that people faced with how their elderly relatives are cared for won't be those with dependent chikdren, they'll be a lot older. My parents were in their early 90s before they needed care, if that's the case for me, my son will be 70!

This is one of the reasons why women have, on the whole, been the ones who care - they tend to be retired or close to retirement age with no other family commitments.

Wont happen, eg a middle aged woman (or man for that matter) cannot clean up or turn an ill elderly person, it takes two relatively fit and strong people to do so, let alone look after someone who has Dementia.
Any Government will have to return to Geriatric wards if they cannot secure enough healthcare workers.
The rich will be able to cherry pick staff with high wages to look after them in residential care.

Until you ve been in the NHS system, you ve really no idea how reliant it is on non EU and EU workers or how over worked existing staff and facilities are at present.
I ve always maintained that the first thing the public will notice after the Brexit vote let alone when we leave, is a reduction in the Healthcare they can access so 18months ago patients waiting more than 1 year for so called routine op's was about 600, it is now 3100 (btw if you need a knee op, its not routine at all!)

Overall waits are at a 10 year high

but of course fcuk all to do with brexit eh?

This is one of the reasons why women have, on the whole, been the ones who care - they tend to be retired or close to retirement age with no other family commitments.

But that's been yanked away, those women aren't near retirement now since the age was increased, many, many more people need to stay in work longer. It's something the Torygraph and the old dinosaur paradigm hasn't taken into consideration, that even the middle class is shrinking and also loads more people are living with their young adult children as housing costs have risen so much.

I know. My state pension was delayed for more than four years and I was one of the lucky ones. But even so, most people who have occupational pensions don't wait until they get their state pensions to retire. Most of my friends have found themselves caring to a greater or lesser extent in their late 50s/60s. We're the ones with the time, allegedly.

I think that's already changed, Blue, especially for those in their late 40s even. They won't be able to quit work to do caring and still eat.

If your parents had you at 40 and you have your kids at 40 you will be having babies when they are in their 80s. It’s not in the least unrealistic to think people will face childcare and elderly parent care responsibilities at the same time.

There is a genuine issue though. There are not enough British citizens willing to do care roles. I don't mean drs and nurses I mean those than go into people's homes and wipe their arses, feed them, shower them, clean up after their incontinence.

If we don't have sufficient care staff then SOMEONE will have to look after them, and who are the most likely candidates? WOMEN!

So whilst the headline is a bit shit, it's semi-accurate and the point is very very worrying.

Very few people had children in their 40 in the 70s. The average age of first time mums in 1975 was 26. All my friends were parents before they were 30.

The trend has been tending towards having children later for a long time now.

At some point it will hit that grandparents won’t be able to help with childcare as they will themselves need care.

The economy will crumble at that point.

I imagine by the time that becomes an issue assigned suicide will be well established and many people will choose it as an alternative to years of living with no quality of life.

Assisted, damn it - not assigned!

my mum was 37 when she had me in 73 and four months away from 40 when she had DB in 75.

Mine was roughly the same ages when she's had me (1953) and my brother (1957) but our parents were far from typical. As I said, average age for first child in 1975 was 26.

oh yes i agree

Yes the 1970s was a time of unusually young mothers.

I still think it’s somewhat optimistic to think their children will retire in time to care for them. And it’s certainly not a long term solution.

No, it wasn't. It was the last generation to have children at normal ages. Late parenthood is a very recent phenomenon.

Government website says average age of woman at first birth in 1938 was 29.

I’m fairly sure the post-rationing baby boom days were the ‘blip’ in terms of people being unusually young when having their family. Modern times reflect the age old dilemma between work and childbearing women have always faced (I know it’s consistently written out of history but women have always worked).

‘Normal age’ I think my whole family must be abnormal then!

Births under the age of 30s are very rare in my family tree. My grandparents were nearly 30 when they married. Not unusual when young adults often stayed at home helping out with younger children, or went and lived with family to work ‘out’ and save to start their own lives/family while helping in the home.

Being able to afford to get married and have children young is a very privileged position. One people will doubtless be even less able to afford post Brexit.

I work in the NHS and can tell you that we are truly in the shit. I also cannot afford to give up work and my retirement age is 68 so I won't be able to care for wither my parents or any grandchildren.

I think we'll either have a flu epidemic which will wipe a lot of the elderly out. That or antibiotic resistance. Both will happen, it's just a matter of when.

If we don't have sufficient care staff then SOMEONE will have to look after them, and who are the most likely candidates? WOMEN!

No, we'll have to have assisted suicide because too many women will not be able to give up work to care for elderly relatives and still eat.