To feel a mix of relief and guilt for my kids going into holiday club?

[betterthanbutter]

I am off from work this week. 2 DC, 10 and 8. Eldest has ASD.

I offered for them to go into a holiday club for 2 days this week, and they have agreed. I didn’t pressure them into doing it, and they are excited about the activities they have chosen.

But I feel REALLY guilty. Like if I’m off from work, the kids should be with me. But I’m also SO in need of a break from them. I’ll have a 2.5 week stretch of them with me with no break (I’m a single mum), and with the eldest with ASD I find it stressful and tiring.

AIBU to send them?

And they don’t want to go this morning :(

Tough luck-tell them they are,fire them in and go for a nice breakfast,sometimes what you need has to come first.Harden your heart a bit,they’ll be fine.

They want to go and you need some rime out. Win win.
Enjoy it! I get it though, I would feel guilty too.

They'll enjoy it once they're there. Tell them you will be doing boring stuff like ironing all day so they'll have much more fun at the club.

I'm an SAHM, and DD3, 8, has been going to the local holiday club for five mornings (10 - 12.30) and three evenings (7 - 9) this week. Costs nothing and is entirely guiltfree. Loads of the neighbourhood children are there, so she can catch up with her friends. It's ideal.

Tough luck-tell them they are,fire them in and go for a nice breakfast,sometimes what you need has to come first.Harden your heart a bit,they’ll be fine.
You obviously have no idea what it's like to have ASD.

No Nikephorus I don’t.But I do know what it’s like to be a mother in desperate need of a break.Its a holiday club,not a workhouse she’s sending them to,and despite popular belief the world doesn’t need to revolve around people with ASD,child or not.NT people have need too.

And when DC with ASD has meltdown because of holiday club - how relaxed will OP feel then?!

Did they go in OP? I hope the day went OK in the end.

I do think you need to swallow the guilt. It is a good life skill for them to be able to go to these things, and if you can keep a foot in that door it does give them wider opportunities when they're older. Whether they skip a day or come home early, whatever, it doesn't really matter. When they're up and grown, I do think a few hours spent out "in the world" will have done them more good than an extra day or two on top of a 2.5 week stretch with you. I think you did the right thing in offering them the opportunity.

And when DC with ASD has meltdown because of holiday club - how relaxed will OP feel then?!

This was exactly the worry.

Did they go in OP? I hope the day went OK in the end

Yes, they did go in. Neither of them really wanted to, but I said it was either that or coming shopping with me, so they chose the holiday club. DS1 came out a bit wobbly but thankfully didn’t have a meltdown. We have a chilled weekend now which we are all looking forward to.

Thanks for all the posts. Didn’t stop the guilt, but did make me feel a bit better about things.

I am a STAHM, one with ASD and learning difficulties, andvinhavevtobout them in holiday club for 2 days a week in the holidays to save my sanity, and my mental health. I cannot cope 24/7 continuously for 6 weeks. Ya so not bu at all.

Didn’t stop the guilt, but did make me feel a bit better about things.

I know it’s easier said than done OP but don’t feel guilty. You needed to rest and have time on your own. They were excited about the first day and had a wobble on the second day but when given a choice between attending or shopping they chose to go again on the second day and they might do the same next week too. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty whatsoever. Try and chill.