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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering cancelling daughters jabs?

189 replies

Beautifulblue · 07/08/2018 00:16

My 13 month old is due her jabs tomorrow & im absolutely dreading it. I was already dreading it, because of the needles souly, I don't want her poor little legs & arms jabbed Sad last time was really quite traumatic. But today I bumped into a some what crazy aunt of mine who went on & on about how damaging immunisations are & how my baby could be left disabled. I don't believe it, in all honestly. I know how many children have them & are absolutely fine. But I didn't even tell this aunt she was having them tomorrow & now I'm stupidly feeling like I was meant to bump into her. Hmm oh goddddd, I'm so nervous!! Help!

OP posts:
cakecakecheese · 07/08/2018 09:05

Look at the thread title: AIBU to be considering cancelling daughter's jabs? In answer to that yes you would be very unreasonable.

Are you unreasonable to be anxious/scared about them? Well no of course not, no one likes to see their child in pain, but you do really need to calm down as your daughter may pick up on your anxiety. Take some rescue remedy, breathe deeply and tell yourself that you are doing what is best for your child, take along anything you normally use to help your daughter be calm, a rattle, toy etc and then get lots of cuddles in afterwards.

You'll both be fine.

FapandSnart · 07/08/2018 09:05

Mumps and rubella have more complications than the pregnancy related complications.

Encephalitis? Orchitis? Pancreatitis? Arthritis? Diseases and conditions not to be sniffed at.

Also herd immunity. Honestly Hmm

OP, you posted on AIBU. If you wanted hand holding you should post elsewhere. I agree you need to get a grip and get it done. This will be the first of a long line of things you have to do as a parent that may upset your child for their benefit.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 07/08/2018 09:06

Your aunt is an uninformed moron tbh.

HappySeven · 07/08/2018 09:06

Good news, MrSpock, Boys to get vaccine

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 07/08/2018 09:07

Ah OP, it's a bit shit isn't it? I hated it too but yes you would be unreasonable if you did cancel them for all the reasons mentioned on thread in rather gory detail. Suck it up and do something really nice after. Start a tradition where you go to a special ice cream parlour after every set of jabs.

bigKiteFlying · 07/08/2018 09:08

Are you still breastfeeding. I fed my son through his injections which worked pretty well.

Worked for me as well - or immediately afterwards bf when Nurse refused to let me bf. Later when they were older magic of chocolate worked.

If you do have concerns Nurse should be willing to talk through them with you before hand.

Anti vaxers I know do seem to come out woodwork just when jabs are due - which isn't helpful but I don't think it's meant to be.

AFigTree · 07/08/2018 09:08

Mumoftwokids

That made me smile- I can just picture my DD as a baby doing exactly that- boob is better than tears! 😊😂

OP this is what being a parent is all about. You do what is necessary and right to protect your child, even if it’s hard. You can do this. Be strong, take a deep breath, and try to keep perspective. I wonder if maybe there is something else bothering you which is making you focus on this, maybe a deeper cause for your anxiety?

goforthandmultiply · 07/08/2018 09:08

No one enjoys the experience but it is part of life. It could save her life and those of others who already have health issues that mean they can't be vaccinated.

You are saving lives. No one wants to do it, just get it over with. The potential consequences of not doing it are horrific.

MrSpock · 07/08/2018 09:09

Happy good!

I declined that jab because I was 14 and terrified of needles. As an adult, I think it’s a good idea for all teens.

MairyHole · 07/08/2018 09:09

continually

"I think women of childbearing age are the ones who need rubella jabs, not babies. It’s not that contentious or difficult. Vaccinate the ones who the disease may harm"

And what happens to the babies of women who are immune compromised or for whom the vaccines don't work? You know, the ones who rely on herd immunity? You're either stupid or selfish. Either way, you're a bit of a disgrace.

Babdoc · 07/08/2018 09:09

I remember my GP’s amazement when my 2 year old DD (with wobbling lip) said “thank you for the nice jag to stop me being ill”.
I always explained to the kids the reason for any potentially painful procedures, was honest that it would be a little sting for a few seconds, and asked them to say thanks. They learned to trust that I would never lie to them or upset them for no reason.
Obviously you can’t do this with small babies, but a relaxed, matter of fact attitude and a cuddle straight afterwards usually make it all ok.
As a doctor myself, I always felt comfortable in a medical environment and spent all day sticking needles in patients, so it never seemed much of a big deal to me. Try to stop over emotionalising it and be a supportive parent. It should be about helping your baby’s health, not indulging your own sentiments. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but immunisation isn’t all about you, it’s for them!

DrWhy · 07/08/2018 09:10

Have a treat ready for after, hold your DD in a lovely tight cuddle, tell her it will hurt but it will be quick and then when it’s done tell her how brave she is, lots of cuddles and a treat - DS cried for no more than about 30 seconds.
I am pregnant and needed the whooping cough vaccine, he’s now nearly 2 and I brought him in with me so he saw me getting one done and we both got a sticker from the nurse - helping to normalise it and not make it a big deal.

toolazytothinkofausername · 07/08/2018 09:10

This is why I got my sister to take my children to be immunised while I waited in the waiting room. My babies never even cried, it was just me that needed to be comforted.

Smurfybubbles · 07/08/2018 09:10

Hi OP good luck today you'll be fine. I normally settle DS into me while the nurse is getting everything ready and have his leg out , I keep chatting away to him. That way he's ready and in the right position and there's no messing around before the jab! Keep eye contact and talk calmly to your DD as if nothing is going on.
I don't look either I just keep my focus on DS and get ready to sooth as soon as it's done.
It's a few mins of pain/shock and then you can go about your day. Lots of hugs and kisses afterwards and all will be forgotten!

littlestrawby · 07/08/2018 09:10

I couldn't even hold my DD for her first set as I started crying when they were about to do them (so my husband stepped in!). The second ones were much more bearable as I knew she'd be fine..and you've seen your daughter come through 3 sets already presumably! It'll all be over in a short moment!

If it helps, the guy that published the research around immunisations causing autism (which has largely caused all this suspicion around vacs) has been widely discredited for falsifing the results of his study and basically making up the statistics...not to mention the questionable methods used on the children in the study but thats another story! So you can tell your aunt that next time you see her ;)

Scoopofchaff · 07/08/2018 09:12

Christ, I think there must be something seriously wrong with my mothering instinct , because I didn't give this a second thought. Mind you, I don't mind needles (not so good with bodily fluids).

Fair enough if you are worried though op (we all have anxieties about different things) and good on you for saying you are going ahead no matter what! I hope the actual experience is not as bad as you feared and that all goes well today Flowers

bridgetreilly · 07/08/2018 09:14

This is what being a parent is. Doing the hard things because you know it is best for your child in the long run, even when it hurts them in the short term.

Nikephorus · 07/08/2018 09:15

I screamed and threw a wobbly when I had my baby jabs but remarkably I don't remember it and I've survived!
I do have autism but strangely I don't think it was the jabs that did it. Rather more likely that I got it from my dad since it's incredibly likely he's on the spectrum too. And my sister also had the jabs (along with 1000s of kids) and didn't have autism.

Aria2015 · 07/08/2018 09:15

My doctor always says he's so glad the jabs exist he knew a young lad of 19 who died at uni because he didn't have them and he said his parents remorse has always haunted him. That story always stuck with me and I have no regrets over giving my lo jabs. Yes he cried but the alternative doesn't bear thinking of.

HappySeven · 07/08/2018 09:16

MrSpock, I work in cancer care and have seen a rise in head and neck cancers which are due to HPV. It is also the cause of some other cancers but it's head and neck that I've noticed the most. I was intending to get my son the vaccine if the government didn't change their stance - hopefully he'll just get done along with his mates now.

Verbena87 · 07/08/2018 09:17

Do it today and get them out of the way, then go and do something nice together afterwards.

Wishing you a nice chilled appointment with a sympathetic nurse.

MrSpock · 07/08/2018 09:17

Happy I have never heard of that!

BitOutOfPractice · 07/08/2018 09:18

As a child of the 70s there were no vaccinations back in my day,

Eh? Of course there were!

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 07/08/2018 09:20

My uncle died in the 50s from a disease we now vaccinate against. My grandma never got over it and when dying six years ago she was just glad she got to be with her son again.

BokenWings · 07/08/2018 09:25

I took ds to have his yesterday, yes it's horrible seeing them in pain but he cried for all of 5 minutes, he had a bit of a temperature later in the day and is now climbing the furniture completely fine. Its not nice but the consequences for a non vaxed child is worse that I could even contemplate and i would never ever forgive myself if the worst was to happen.

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