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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She hasn’t invited my children to her daughter’s Christening

55 replies

MummaDC · 06/08/2018 22:40

When I had my daughter christened 5 years ago, my best friend became one of her godmother’s.
She’s since had her first baby, and I’ve gone on to have my second child.
She’s having her daughter christened soon and has very kindly asked me to be godmother, but she has only invited my partner and I, not our children (my baby will only be 3 months old by then, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving him with anyone else yet).

AIBU to feel offended she doesn’t want my children there?! My daughter is her goddaughter after all.

OP posts:
emmyrose2000 · 07/08/2018 03:34

I've never heard of a child-free christening. How weird.

COpperbonnet · 07/08/2018 03:43

What now?

A child free Christening is a hysterical notion.

Churches are public places. Take your D.C. and let her know you won’t be able to attend the party afterwards.

I’d be seriously included to question her notions of what being Christened actually means though because it does seem like she’s missed the point.

Warpdrive · 07/08/2018 04:41

Do you have the nerve to quote the bible at her? Suffer the little children to come unto me.
If it’s good enough for Jesus....

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 07/08/2018 05:08

Very odd behaviour- I wouldn't go

Want2bSupermum · 07/08/2018 05:17

Very strange. Although now the fashion is for the christening to be like a mini wedding. We ended up having this but it was never the intention. All DC were invited.

fabulous01 · 07/08/2018 05:38

That is odd.
Could you go and gave someone with baby outside?
Or with my god parents. I knew they couldn't travel as christening was back in my hometown town so they still became god parents and minister named them but they were absent

Laloup1 · 07/08/2018 05:47

Why not just go to the ceremony. Leave your baby with your partner. Do the church bit and then disappear straight.
Or like someone already said, it’s ok to not go at all - someone can stand in for you.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/08/2018 05:49

I think you could justify declining. You have a 3 mo baby. She didn’t explain her plan to you beforehand. Would you have accepted had she told you first?

bevelino · 07/08/2018 06:16

I would have interpreted the invite as an invitation to the whole family. Baptisms are often held during the main church service with the regular congregation of the church (including children) in attendance.

If she is your best friend why not simply speak.

Dollyrama · 07/08/2018 06:19

So she doesn't want a child-free christening per se, she just only wants the two, her niece and nephew.

She's BU to not extend the invite to you when you have a babe in arms, plus her god daughter. Did she say anything about your children when she told you she was limiting children to her sister's?

ApolloandDaphne · 07/08/2018 06:28

Seems odd to me. Especially given your DD is her goddaughter and you have a very small baby. I would get back to her and explain you can't attend without your baby and therefore must decline to be godmother.

TidyDancer · 07/08/2018 06:31

Surely this is a mistake. That is really odd otherwise.

mineisarossini · 07/08/2018 06:42

Go to the church and leave your children with dp, and leave immediately afterwards (should be 20 mins or so)

If you feel this has compromised your ability and wish to be a godmother, and I would understand this sentiment, as it is very strange and rude not to invite children to a christening of all things. Then I would decline the godmother role gently, saying that you can't leave your baby and have no choice but to encourage her to ask someone else.

Does she have PND or is she always like this?

pigeondujour · 07/08/2018 07:22

Sounds like she's confusing it with her a wedding. Or doesn't want another small baby there to take the shine off hers.

Dermymc · 07/08/2018 07:33

Have you actually asked her?

AvoidingDM · 07/08/2018 07:33

Is she a regular church attrnder or a hatch, match, dispatch type of person?

I suspect the latter.

wowfudge · 07/08/2018 07:39

Read the OP's posts people - she's already posted that her friend has told her only her sister's kids are invited.

Why do people like this bother with christenings when they obviously don't have the faintest idea about the religion and its practices and principles?

ourkidmolly · 07/08/2018 07:39

Shall we have child free birthday parties now too? That's the most pretentious and ridiculous thing I've heard on these boards and that's saying something! No children at a Christening! Her own godchild? Awful behaviour. I'd tell her straight tbh, she obviously has zero concept or understanding of the sacrament. It's a child's event. Is she planning that for her kids' birthdays too.

RebootYourEngine · 07/08/2018 07:40

I reckon she thinks christenings are like weddings and you have sole use of the church. She is in for a big shock.

I would get her to confirm that your children are not invited and the decline the invite & the godmother role.

AgentJohnson · 07/08/2018 07:47

If she’s your ’best friend’, ask her and then if she insists that your children aren’t invited, decline the invite on the basis of the argument you’ve used here. All this secret seething is pointless.

Original poster
MummaDC · 07/08/2018 08:02

Thanks for all of the thoughts/advice/opinions.
I wanted to sound off on people who are impartial to the situation. I appreciate you all taking the time to comment. It’s given me food for thought.

OP posts:
IceCreamFace · 07/08/2018 08:04

Wedding I could understand but christening just makes no sense! Presumably your 3 month old isn't going to be tucking into the food or wine so she's not saving any money and you would think the odd baby noise would be expected at a bloody christening!

LynetteScavo · 07/08/2018 09:19

She can't not invite her own godchild to her own babies christening! That's just beyond rude! Shock

I'm stunned.

RuggerHug · 07/08/2018 14:11

I'd say you're happy to attend the church but can't stay on as you'll have to get back to your children, obviously DP can't attend as he's minding them.

TerracottaDream · 07/08/2018 14:36

Is your DP the Godfather? If not why can’t he have the kids? If you are breastfeeding maybe just go to the service.

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