To think he wouldn't have said this to a man?

[GunpowderGelatine]

A bit of back story about my crappy weekend which is kind of relevant to my AIBU...

DS (18 months) broke his elbow on Friday at soft play (he was standing on a little foam hump and fell off and landed his full body weight onto his arm ). It's been a crap weekend of being in hospital, x-rays, and a baby in lots of pain. Today we were waiting to hear from the surgeon to see if DS would need surgery. We were told we'd be called at some point this afternoon.

We'd booked DD (6) on a Greatest Showman musical workshop for today. Dropped her off this morning and there'd be a 5 minute performance at 3pm. DH took the afternoon off work to see it.

We didn't know if we'd both make it because one of us needed to stay at home to hear from the surgeon (we live rurally and don't get mobile signal so our contact number is our landline). Luckily he rang at 2.30pm to say that he's confident DS doesn't need surgery and his elbow will heal without it (yay!). So, we technically had enough time to both make it - but half way there there was an accident and traffic backed up. It meant that, to make it for 3pm, I just got out the car down the road on my own and legged it into the venue. There just wasn't enough time for DH to park up, get DS out etc.

When I got to the room where the performance was happening, parents had to stand against the back wall. I spotted a gap big enough for me, next to a bloke who was about 6ft (I'm 5'6) so squeezed into it.

Just as the performance finished, and everyone was applauding I heard the bloke behind me shout "Thank you so much" but didn't hear the rest of it because of the noise. I assumed he was thanking the performers. Then when the clapping died down he shouted (repeated) "Thank you so much for standing in my way the whole time so I couldn't see a thing". I realised he was talking to me so turned round and said "excuse me?" And he repeated himself (again shouting). I snapped "you should have said something rather than waiting until it was over and shouting at me". He looked a bit taken aback, I expect it's because I look meek. I was standing slightly in front and to the side of him (so not shoulder to shoulder) I don't see how he couldn't have seen. If he'd said something, I'd have crouched down to watch it. He only had to ask.

I was mortified, I started a job 2 weeks ago and a colleague was nearby, and I'm sure everyone heard (my DD certainly did as she asked afterwards who the man was who shouted at me). I've come away pleased that I didn't just say "oh sorry" (once upon a time I would have) but also furious. Probably hasn't helped that my weekend has been crap with my poor little DS, or that I felt bad DH missed the performance, but i am now incandescent with rage - because he would not have said that to a man, would he? If my (well built) DH had gone in and not me, he'd have kept schtum. I get so sick of putting up with this bollocks because people think women can't/won't fight back.

Yes this happened only because you're A woman.

Because in all the history of mankind no two men have ever had a disagreement in public, just never at all....

A wonderful clarifying diagram, thank you.

Perhaps you should consider others a bit and not just nip in front to bag the best view.

Ok you had a bad day, probably most of people in there also had one.

Absolutely Accountant
You've gone to great pains to give us a whole backstory, to try to justify the fact you have pushed in front of someone who is there before you, and then bobbed about a bit to make sure your dd can see you.
Of curse that is going to be irritating for the person who got there on time and positioned themselves so they could see their dc (and potentially so their dc could see them).

Imagine the outrage if someone came on here and posted :

"I got myself into a bit of bother at work for leaving early, but did so anyway as I know it was important to my dc that I was at their showcase. All sorted - I had to stand but all was ok as they could see me. Just as show was about to start, this woman shoved her way in, late, and stood in front of me. Annoying, but not too bad in the first instance, as, by shuffling over a bit, I could see over her shoulder. She then proceeded to bounce around throughout the whole damn thing, in a really annoying and distracting way. When I mentioned it at the end, she caused a right scene about it, as if I were the one in the wrong".

I suspect the responses would be supporting that poster.....

"I suspect his annoyance came from me moving my head about occasionally. DD is a titch and I could barely see her, because I was late I really wanted her to see me too, I hate it when she thinks I haven't turned up! It was probably irritating but I'm pretty sure I didn't block his view"

I think that would piss anyone off, whether they own a penis or not.

Totally agree with "anexcellentusername".

I don't think your height is the issue, more so the fact you were leaping around in front of him. And to play the sexism card is quite frankly insulting.

As your title asks - I think complainy bloke would still have said something if you were a man. Whether he was UR or not is another thing altogether. If complainy bloke was a woman, then her complaints may have been less whiney, and more obvious, even if you were a man.

Or maybe they wouldn't. Who knows really. Complainy bloke should have mentioned your head being in his way earlier but he didn't so tough luck you whiney bastard. Speak up or STFU is ma Rule.

I hate people that show up late then try and stand in front of you. It's fucking rude. If you want to stand in the front, get there early. Your backstory is irrelevant. Your post should have been "I was late, so I walked over and stood in front of people because my precious diddums is the most important person in the performance and I deserve a better view than everyone else."

Yeah, but realistically everybody DOES think their precious diddums is the most important. Anybody who is going for the quality of the performance rather than to see their kid/have their kid see them sends they're children to different drama clubs than I do.

He should've said 'I can't see' before it started. OP should forget the row. I what's find it very difficult to calm down after these altercations but really it doesn't matter whose fault it was does it??

He still could have said something rather than passive aggressively call you out at the end.
I think it's because he sees you as weaker than him, he might have done it to a small man but he most certainly wouldn't have done it to someone the same height as him.

Having said that, my dad is well over 6ft tall and I don't think I've ever seen anyone be passive aggressive like this with him, or dp for that matter, even though both of them would be a hell of a lot less confident at dealing with it than I would be. I know its only anecdotal but generally when I have seen this sort of behaviour it has been towards women.

I was hardly leaping around . even so surely it's better to say 'excuse me' rather than shout at me at the end when it's too late? and I didn't stand in front of him, as I've already said

Your backstory is irrelevant

I was more avoiding being accused of drip feeding if people asked why I was late (which they would)

"I was late, so I walked over and stood in front of people because my precious diddums is the most important person in the performance and I deserve a better view than everyone else."

I stood in a space that was free. Can't you read dear?

I'm guessing everyone on this forum can read - it goes with the territoy of an on-line forum. There's no need for you to be rude to individual posters.
Most people, however, understand there are two perceptions of what has happened in any situation.
Some responses are empathising with the man you pushed in front of.

i agree OP. ive always been very polite and “nice” but recently, with the help of some of the feminism threads on MN i have realised that i needed to stop being so “nice” to men, because they essentially either take advantage of my kind nature or try and be aggressive/domineering.

i spend alot of time in the weights section of the gym and the number of men who have tried to take stuff from me or speak to me in an intimidating way has made me change, and i stand up for myself now.

i have never seen any of these men speak to another man the way they speak to me, so i 100% agree with you. i also never had a problem when my 6ft1 90kg DP would be with me, what a coincidence.

It's all about the angles though, if you're looking down at small DC a d can see all of them from.feet up then someone blocks the. bottom 5ft or so of your view then you may only be able to see their top half.

It's so tedious to read yet another 'this happened because I'm a woman' post with no proof whatsoever and for you to call anyone who doesn't agree with you a misogynist.

Trite and tired OP. Must do better in future.

The guy was being a right nob. He should have done what any self-respecting non-nob would have done and said hey love, can I swing you up on my shoulders so you can get a better view (happened to me at a concert when I was a young thing, was primo!)?