To think this is being used as an insult?

[Neededastealthname]

More and more frequently I am seeing people on here use the phrase "do you normally suffer with anxiety?" to something that the majority are seeing as an over reaction on the OP's part and always after basically handing the posters arse to them about what a drama queen/whimp they are being.

What fresh mumsnet hell is this? When did it become OK to use someone's mental health as a snide insult?

Of course determining whether or not an anxiety disorder is exacerbating a situation can be helpful but that is not why I am seeing this question being asked, it's almost like a take on the classic mumsnet one liners "did you mean to be so rude" etc, that clique type behaviour that inevitably ends up being twisted into bullying by the more cuntish clique members.

Yeah you're not wrong. Some days it feels like the trolls and bitchy people outnumber the rest of us.

Yeah it's used to be patronising by the looks of it and is definitely becoming more of an insult. Fake concern.

YANBU, it's horrible. Sometimes people are asking the question gently and with good intent because it's relevant, but a lot of the time it's a supercilious 'are you always so anxious', meaning 'do you always overreact this much you mad and abnormal harpy'. It's a horrible bullying / silencing tactic.

I'm inclined to agree OP

On the other hand though, it would be really helpful if people stopped claiming they 'suffer from anxiety' when actually they are just anxious about a certain situation (which is completely natural).

I think the overuse of the word (which seems to be pretty widespread nowadays), really doesn't help those who do actually suffer with anxiety disorders.

Much like when people say they're depressed when actually they mean they're feeling really down about something.

Or when people say they're being bullied, and it turns out they just had a row or disagreement with someone.

Well put Worra.

YES. Wish people would stop doing this - if you're going to be a cunt, at least OWN it. Don't do the faux-concern thing, it's vile.

I got told to 'seek counselling' on a thread because I was cross at not being able to have any wine. Twat.

Worra, in the threads I have seen the OP's haven't claimed any type of mental health issue so those terms are being undermined by the people 'accusing' the OP of having mental illness, by using it as an insult.

The overuse of those terms to describe what are normal healthy feelings (not mental illness) is ridiculous and completely unempathetic to anyone with mental health problems but I think every person with at least one ounce of common sense can differentiate between someone using mental health terms as throwaway comments and someone with actual mental health problems and therfore not perpetuate a negative stereotype regarding mental illness with such snide derogatory comments.

I find people who use terms that are meant to describe actually mentally ill people to add some dramatic flare to their self involved ramblings to be utter wankers but the people who throw these terms around in an effort to undermine, insult and ridicule someone, I find those people utterly disgusting.

Very well said Worra

Well said? It's a cop out. Why does the fact that some people label themselves as having mental health problems when they just have problems mean it's OK to regress back to when people were narrow minded and uneducated and once again attach a stigma to mental illness?

Why do I get the feeling that the "well said" brigade have used that hideous term and are jumping on the the first bandwagon that heads anywhere near somewhere that defends their actions?

Yeah people do this all the time. If you call them out they get touchy and pretend it’s genuine concern for the OP. It’s pretty gross.

I disagree. I think asking if someone normally suffers from anxiety is a good way of ascertaining if a person has underlying health problems or is just being a bit of a dramatic twit.

I agree with op.
And I agree with Worra
But no, it’s a cop out to say the faux-concerned head-tilters do this in reaction to the weedy self-labellers. Two separate behaviours, different threads.
They do it cos they think they’re being smart and want to make that person feel pathetic.

I mean, a lot of the time they are being pathetic - but have the balls to say that (or as I usually try to, say nothing, cos it’s not going to be helpful to say what I really think).
To dig at someone in that kind of way comes across as slimy and underhanded and kind of turns my stomach actually.

It's the 2018 version of "are you quite well" so neatly summed up by the phase.

Ciao, of course it's helpful to ask at times but it's not being asked in the instances I'm referring to it's being accused, used as an insult, meant to undermine and ridicule.

But DCI, you can have mental health problems and still be acting like a bit of a spanner. Having mental health problems can help to explain certain reactions, but it doesn’t excuse all behavior.

I say this as someone who suffers from depression and takes a daily anti-depressant. Just because I’m depressed doesn’t mean my behavior is always beyond reproach.

Agreed Ciao - not sure how that relates to what I said though.

Is this not just part of the pattern of huge overreactions? I saw a thread earlier about a night shift worker who was irritated by her colleague sleeping on shift and snoring, within seconds he'd been diagnosed with obstructed breathing and sleep apnoea!!

It's encouraging to see so many other people who find it as repulsive as I do, hopefully it dies out soon and the Mumsnet cliques find a less vulnerable group to undermine in a bid to be 'big and clever' in an ideal world bullying wouldn't exist at all but apparently a good majority of the world is made up of utter cunts.

FASH, I'm not sure how it can be classed as simply overreacting? It's bullying. The self-labelling drama queens they are overreacting but what does that have to do with the insults thinly veiled with fake concern?

I think it depends on what is being discussed. Sometimes posters on mn have very extreme reactions or behaviours, which they think are totally justified. Many posters will think it unjustified. The mismatch can be for many reasons and a skewed perspective due to mh concerns is one of them. Sometimes a suggestion about mh is just that and not a jab.

Not everyone knows or realises they have a mh condition. I had one for 15 years before I realised that my reactions weren't normal. That the way i was living my life wasn't normal.

I get where you're coming from OP but I think it's mostly a reply/consequence/arse covering that followed another trend:

OP: OMG!! I'm DEVASTATED,TRAUMATISED!! My child was nearly KILLED!! She will never recover from the trauma of having seen a car vaguely driving in her direction. She was on the sidewalk and i was holding her hand,but imagine if she wasn't!

PP's: big pile on telling OP she's being an OTT dick,nothing happened and she's freaking out over nothing.

OP: you are all horrible bullies and made me cry. I suffer from anxiety and find things difficult bla bla bla I'm so low right now and it's all your fault.

Ciao, the issue is that mental health terms are now being thrown around as insults.

@DCITennison Well, most of the time I’ve seen it in the kind of threads that start with massively descriptive scene-setting, that end up with something like...”and then the dog jumped up and licked Dd on her arm and I screamed at the owner and dialed 101 to get it logged...” and I’m just like . Anxiety would explain the massive overreaction in that case, but...