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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to take a 6 year old to a scan?

62 replies

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:09

Having scans every other week to check that baby is growing ok. Totally precautionary and unlikely that the growth will be an issue, fundal measurement has been rising as expected, it is a 'just in case' scan and unlikely to find anything bad. I've had two anomaly scans and don't need anymore so almost 100% an anomaly won't be found. All of this is because of an echogenic bowel that has now disappeared.

I have DPs daughter on the day of the scan. DP is at work and I have nobody to look after her. No babysitter and family members don't live nearby. Would I be completely unreasonable to take her to the scan with me? Are they likely to say no and tell me to come back without her?

Not sure what to do...

OP posts:

Summerof2018 · 05/08/2018 20:15

What if they have to give you some bad news? Would you really want her there?

BendingSpoons · 05/08/2018 20:15

Call and ask? I just had my 12 week scan and was booking in the 20 week one. I said in passing to DH 'I don't know what we will do about childcare' and the receptionist said just bring her. Obviously DH will be there so can take her out if needed, but I would imagine 20 weeks is more 'risky' in terms of possible bad news than your scans.

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 05/08/2018 20:16

I'd ring and check but I think it's unlikely you'll be allowed to take her in. I had a transvaginal scan recently (not fun!), I asked if I was allowed to bring anyone in and they said I could take one adult.

Oysterbabe · 05/08/2018 20:16

I think it'll be fine.

Iggi999 · 05/08/2018 20:17

If she's was older would say take her and she can wait outside - but at 6 she'd need to come in and if they wouldn't let heryou would miss the scan. How many scans has your dh been to, he is entitled to time off to attend some and could (instead) mind his child. I don't think she should have the additional stress of sorting this out, he isn't responsible childcare for his child so if he needs to miss work for a time it would count as childcare emergency which most employers are ok with.

Original poster

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:18

@Summerof2018 very unlikely there will be an anomaly. The only thing I am likely to be told is that baby is a little small but we have already discussed what this means and that it is a possibility.

@LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag it's not a vaginal scan, I wouldn't take her to one of those. It's just a growth scan (not anomaly) they take all of two minutes.

Really stumped re what to do as they're pretty specific about the dates I need the scans and we really don't have any childcare!

OP posts:

Iggi999 · 05/08/2018 20:18

Sorry, he is responsible for childcare for his child

NewYearNewMe18 · 05/08/2018 20:22

Have you asked her mother if it is appropriate?

Original poster

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:22

@Iggi999 he is responsible of course but he's away with work and has had many, many days off (10+) for appointments. He can only have so many emergency days unpaid.

I don't think she should have the additional stress of sorting this out, he isn't responsible childcare for his child so if he needs to miss work for a time it would count as childcare emergency which most employers are ok with.

By 'she' do you mean me?

OP posts:

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/08/2018 20:25

Why do some posters have to make a huge fuss over nothing?

OP give them a ring and explain the situation, hopefully they will put your mind at rest.

Original poster

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:25

@NewYearNewMe18 no, I asked her father...

OP posts:

StepAwayFromGoogle · 05/08/2018 20:26

OP, I took my 3 year old to one of my scans and they were perfectly fine with it. Said they understood people couldn't always get childcare.

Original poster

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:26

@GreatDuckCookery thanks. I was just wondering if anyone had been in this position and what they did. I don't want to turn up and be turned away/waste anyone's time...

OP posts:

Weepingangels · 05/08/2018 20:26

Ring and check if you want to take dc, my hospital did not allow children in for scans. There were notes everywhere and on letters.

Consider what would happen if the news was bad, it may well not. I very much hope all will be good. But i would plan in case.

Can dp work from home? Or is the hospital close so dp can watch for short amount of time? Make up time later or beforehand?

BikeRunSki · 05/08/2018 20:26

If they are scanning you every 2 weeks, there must be some trigger for concern. A low risk pregnancy only gets 2 (here at least)! . I am not sure I would want a child with me if I received bad news at a scan. My hospital actually asks you not to bring children to scans - does yours?

Isittimeforbed · 05/08/2018 20:26

I work in this area. If she's generally well behaved or can be easily distracted with a tablet or something else I'd take her. You need to be able to concentrate at the time of the scan and obviously there can be a bit of waiting around. As you say, it's looking at growth and blood flow so it's incredibly unlikely to show anything needing immediate action. If she's likely to get bored and fidgety I'd be less keen though.

neighneigh · 05/08/2018 20:27

All the other issues aside, we ended up taking our six year old ds to a growth scan one weekend, because childcare suddenly let us down. My husband was also with me and the sonographer said she'd have a quick look then ds could join. So technically they are allowed in but I'd ring to check your specific hospital rules. Ds was given a print out of ds2's feet, it was very nice.

Original poster

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:29

@Weepingangels DP works on the roads. Definitely can't work from home! It's the sort of job that if he doesn't turn up or takes a day short notice it messes things up a lot!

OP posts:

fanlight79 · 05/08/2018 20:29

I took my then 4 year old with me to a couple of my routine scans (twins) after the anomaly one. I knew she'd behave though and was also so excited to see them on screen. I think my appointment letters said children can attend but need to be looked after by a responsible adult, which I took to mean me! Definitely check if in any doubt though but I bet a 6 year old would love to go with you.

Stroller15 · 05/08/2018 20:32

OP I took my 20 month old to my scan, I had chicken pox in my first 12 weeks so get regular growth scans. The staff have all been lovely with him and no one batted an eye, he got bubbles and sweeties and they explain what's happening etc. I think a 6 year old will even be easier. But, as ever, I suppose it depends on your trust. Perhaps phone to check beforehand for peace of mind.

Original poster

DanaVolcaana · 05/08/2018 20:32

@BikeRunSki yep there is, I'm still fairly low risk however, still allowed to give birth in MLU, and unlikely they will find anything bad other than a small baby and even in this case they would just scan me again two weeks later.

OP posts:

HeyDolly · 05/08/2018 20:36

I think it will be fine. My trust has no issues with DC attending routine scans but phone beforehand to check.

Goth237 · 05/08/2018 20:41

YABVU Children should not be going into scans. Firstly, it is very important for the sonographer to be able to concentrate. Having a child who will be in to everything and talking and being a distraction is not what they want. Secondly, for other women who have possibly had bad news or are just stressed they don't want to be around a disruptive child. Thirdly, it is not a nursery. It is a medical procedure and not a place for children. And fourthly, as PP has said, if you get bad news you're not going to want your 6 year old there.

Nixen · 05/08/2018 20:45

No you cannot take her. Just because you’re not anticipating bad news... what if someone else gets bad news and has to come and out and see a child in the waiting room? I had a scan at the EPU previously where it was confirmed I was miscarrying and a selfish woman had decided while she was in her scan she’d bring her husband and 2 kids to run riot around the waiting room. He didn’t even go in with her so why they couldn’t have waited elsewhere in the hospital was beyond me. Luckily a kindly midwife realised how distressed I was and found my DH and I somewhere private to wait to speak to the doctor.

You need to find someone to look after her or rearrange your scan, you’d be very selfish indeed to take her with you.

Weepingangels · 05/08/2018 20:48

DanaVolcaana that is a shame. Do you have any school fb pages or contacts? My sister is a ta and they often babysit kids in the holidays. Worth asking around?

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