So bit of background, DH and his family have had a huge falling out over the past 18 months. This included death threats from one brother, and his other brother completely disowning his. This is mainly down to MIL shit stirring between DH and his brothers. I’ve pushed DH to start visiting his DM and “death threat” brother, as they are still his family, and I know he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened to his Mum and they weren’t speaking. Death threat brother has autism, so in the end we took the death threats with a pinch of salt. After the initial threats he pretended as if nothing had happened, and was fairly normal with DH. I do not visit them, but I’m happy for DH and DD to visit to help build a relationship. The relationship between the three of them is a still a bit strained, but it’s improved a lot from what it was 6 months ago.
So, the AIBU.
Death threat brother phoned DH yesterday, asking if he could take our DD (5) to disowning brothers house, which is roughly 50 miles away. DH said no, DD hasn’t seen disowning brother, his wife, and children in over 2 years, so most likely doesn’t even remember them! DH also said that he’s not confortable with DD being that far away without her mum or dad, and we (mainly DH) have been told that we’re not welcome in their house ever again. This has caused death threat brother to kick off, calling DH spiteful, out of order, and not putting DD first. I know DD would have hated it, and would have missed us! I don’t like the thought of her being that far away without me, just in case anything was to go wrong. She also can’t remember disowning brother, so she would have felt very shy and not herself.
Because of this, it’s caused another huge family drama. Were we BU to not let her go?