He became "physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive" and Mariella is putting this down to a short-lived aberration?
It's been twelve years and he's still behaving like an abusive wanker, because he IS an abusive wanker. Twelve years of manipulative shit following physical, verbal, and emotional abuse is not a short-lived aberration. It's who and what he really is.
What the hell is wrong with Mariella? Are we talking about "real" abuse? What does she even mean? Physical violence is real abuse. Emotional abuse is real abuse. Verbal abuse is real abuse.
It's like those people who think there's such a thing as 'real' rape and something that's not "rape rape". Whoopie Goldberg and the like, saying that "it's not rape rape" while defending rapists like Roman Polanski and Bill Cosby.
She said exactly the same thing to defend Polanski as Mariella has said to this woman, "we live in a different society now."
And how dare Mariella say to that woman that she has to be careful what she says because of "real victims" as though this woman is not a real victim of abuse, or to think about how the word abuse blackens the accused person's name.
As for the woman's sister, often people don't want to admit that they are supporting an abuser.
We don't want to take sides, it's not our place to take sides, there are two sides to every story, you must have done something as well, you've moved on but he's still hurting, you're both to blame.
The issue is, if they admit that their friend abused their sister, they have to do something about it. They have to look at themselves and the people they associate with.
They have to admit that they didn't see him for what he is, they have to admit that they missed or ignored signs that he is an abuser, they have to act and cut him off or tell him what he did was wrong, and it's just easier not to for some people.
We don't want to get involved or take sides is basically just "we don't care enough about you to make our own lives briefly uncomfortable."
And Mariella has missed the bit where the woman says she tried to speak to her abusive ex to make it possible to coexist peacefully in group situation and he rejected that.
I can't imagine she did that because she wants to still see a violent, verbally and emotionally abusive man from her past. She did it to make her sister and her friends more comfortable. When they don't give a shit about making her feel more comfortable in return (otherwise they would cut the violent abuser out themselves and not victim blame the woman instead.)
Fuckers, all of them.