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This advice from Mariella Frostrup seems pretty appalling...

(18 Posts)
Saltedcaramel2014 Sun 12-Jul-15 18:05:48

I know you don't need qualifications to be an agony aunt, but I think her advice in today's column is shocking, and condones, minimises and seeks to justify emotional abuse. The girl's dad calls her mum 'useless' (among other things) but Mariella suggests he is just struggling to express himself emotionally. She's been wildly (and in my view potentially dangerously) insensitive in advice to vulnerable people before (eg with depression). I just don't think this is a job she should be doing:

Saltedcaramel2014 Sun 12-Jul-15 18:06:27

Clicky link here I hope

CtrlAltDelicious Sun 12-Jul-15 18:14:10

OP: Dad refers to my mum as bonkers, hopeless, waste of bloody space, mad bat, bloody useless, or just “ya mum” (“Where’s ya mum gone now?!”) or often just “woman”

Mariella: I haven’t the slightest shred of doubt your father is crazy about you and your mother; he just needs you to walk towards him with your arms open so he feels secure enough to tell you.

Obviously these are excerpts but I thought her whole response was minimising bollocks. My dad isn't the tender type - he's never once told me he loves me or hugged me, but he still shows me he's proud of me and talks respectfully of me, my siblings and my mother. This guy is a wanker - I can;t understand Mariella's response at all!

springydaffs Sun 12-Jul-15 18:17:47

Write to the Guardian! Make a bloody fuss angry

UncertainSmile Sun 12-Jul-15 18:18:19

I think she's dreadful; she has no qualifications for the role at all.

JulyKit Sun 12-Jul-15 18:20:25

MF's advice tends to be along those lines, whatever the question is, though, doesn't it? Her advice is generally a rather elegantly articulated instruction to the OP to grow up, or STFU, or a sort of 'there, there, dear, it's not so bad'.

I like Open Book, and all, but I think that most of MF's advice in her Guardian column demonstrates that she hasn't got a fucking clue about many of the problems she comments on. Unless it's really obvious that the OP is immature, selfish, overthinking, or whatever - in which case her glib bruh-offs are quite appropriate, maybe - her 'agony aunt' role is a bit of a duff one, really.

arthriticfingers Sun 12-Jul-15 18:21:07

She has form for this. A few years ago, the advice she gave to a young girl who had been moved away from her work, family and friends to follow her partner and then told to give up work and stop going out was -
to stay with him as he was not abusive 'unless he hit' her. confused
Luckily, a MN knight set out to battle to the comments and set her right.

winkywinkola Sun 12-Jul-15 18:29:55

She gives crap advice. Seems to minimise terrible situations. I don't rate her at all.

Saltedcaramel2014 Sun 12-Jul-15 18:36:40

I will write to the guardian - I really think it's irresponsible advice and feel surer still on hearing these responses.

CatsandCrumble Sun 12-Jul-15 19:03:01

I saw that - thought it was terrible. Putting the responsibility for the actions of the father on to the daughter.

Twinklestein Sun 12-Jul-15 20:59:55

She's such a twit. As is Annalisa Barbieri.

InTheBox Sun 12-Jul-15 23:01:50

Mariella is one of the worst if not the worst agony out going. Her advice always comes down to 'get a grip' regardless of subject matter. Failing that she often goes off on one about her own personal experiences. Absolutely useless.

FrancesNiadova Sun 12-Jul-15 23:12:30

Do you think that the letters are real? I've always thought that they were made up. shock

FrancesNiadova Sun 12-Jul-15 23:22:48

I suppose that even if they are, such bad responses could be harmful to someone reading it who really was in that situation.
As you were. blush

pigsDOfly Mon 13-Jul-15 00:46:12

She doesn't seem to have a clue about people or life. How can a woman have got to her age and have learned so little.

So she doesn't have the slightest doubt the man loves his wife and daughter does she? So that's all right then isn't it, and this young woman can relax knowing that all the abusive insults are just him being loving and caring.

Her advice is always irresponsible or useless or both. I wouldn't ask her for the time tbh, let alone to comment on my problems.

Perhaps the letters are made up. Would anyone really write to her and imagine they're going to get anything sensible out of her.

Iflyaway Mon 13-Jul-15 00:55:02

Yea, that Annalisa was dreadful too.

Telling a mum who's son was being violent to her to try and get his girlfriend to intervene or something.... WTF?!

I think the Guardian is a great paper no paywall but fuck do they have bad advice columns!... they should check out MN lol

jamthencream Mon 13-Jul-15 10:45:25

Annalisa gives good advice in my opinion (and I was once the person she was advising).

Mariella I can't even bring myself to read.

UncertainSmile Mon 13-Jul-15 10:49:55

Don't they have an advice columnist in the Saturday magazine whose sole qualification is that she was in the Breakfast Club?

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