To be in tears after this telephone conversation?

[maycontainstress]

My dp just called me on the phone.

My birthday was 2 days ago (pre pay day). He said he would treat me once he'd been paid but managed to scrape some dosh together so that the DC could give me a little something.

He has finished work early

Him - I'm leaving work to go and get some presents for a certain someone

Me - Oh, really, who?

Him - Actually I'm not sure whether or not you deserve a present after all the meals I've treated you to. (

Please dont let his inconsideration for you spoil your evening. Go out and have fun anyway.

i think he is trying to say in a bloke way -'this is getting expensive, i want to talk about it, but dont want to look cheap'

its a shame it is your birthday but i think this is probably a trigger to have an open conversation about finances which you need to do before you move in together. Say that it is effort rather than money you appreciate - he could cook for you another time. Maybe just go easy on him tonight and talk about it soon.

Hi

Did you go out last night after all?

hmm, mine is a bit like this.

My birthday always seems to fall on a day when he has no money, as does christmas, valentines etc... it's very convenient. In fact, he told me the other day too that he split with his ex a few days before her birthday so he didn't have to buy her a present.

My last birthday I asked for an mp3 player, he got me a second hand minidisc player (different thing entirely) which he didn't wrap and presented to me at 5 o'clock on my birthday (I had to ask if he had got me anything) in its ratty chewed up box. I didn't even bother to open it. He proceeded to say it was better than his, and now he uses it, so I'm guessing it was a present for himself.

Oh and also, I had to ask if he got me a card and he said "yeah, but I haven't written in it, do you still want it?"

I think he knew he'd fucked up then cos he saw my face and said "Oh christ"

I know gifts etc shouldn't be a big deal, but I always go overboard when I can afford to, getting him a games console, games etc to go with it, or a big tv, or a stocking stuffed full of thoughtful presents he's men tioned through the year, and I never get it back, no matter how long he has to prepare.

I'm giving birth in august, and I'm quite serious when I say that if he doesn't buy me flowers or a gift, I will do something dire to his testicles when he sleeps.