To feel utterly depressed that 40 is my next big birthday

[Menarefrommarsitwouldseem]

I have only just turned 35 but that past few days I can't shake this feeling of being unhappy that 40 is looming.
I know it's 5 years etc but time goes by so quickly.

I just don't feel like I'm ready/old enough to be 40 if that makes sense? I seriously cannot get over the fact I'm not 25 anymore let alone 35!

It's everything that comes with it.
My eldest dc I'll be 19 when I am 40 and youngest 15 and that stresses me out.
My parents will be elderly and that worries me.

I've just come out of a shitty relationship with my exh and feel like I'll be passed it in terms of meeting people

I feel like I look old.

I feel achey already

I feel like my childbearing days are over.

Eurgh I could carry on!

Please tell me it's not so bad!

• my eldest dc will be 19 even.

In practical terms, it's not really any different to being 35, or 39, or 43. You don't get bonus speedy overnight ageing when you start a new decade.

I'm 41. I actually really like it. Done with the kid stuff, and yes I'm starting to look a bit older, but tbh I couldn't care less.

Don't stress, it's actually fine

Do you want more kids?

I think turning 40 and having your youngest being 15 sounds nice tbh! You'll get your freedom back!

The elderly parents bit is definitely the hardest part. I'm not going to pretend that bits OK because it's not. It's really really hard.

I turn 40 in a few weeks. I'm just looking forward to having an excuse to do some nice things with people I love.

I hated turning 30 but that's because I was dissatisfied with what was happening in my life back then. It was nothing to do with the number. Might it be the same for you now?

Being in your 40's is awesome. I LOVE it.

Yes maybe it is this feeling of being dissatisfied right now.

With regards to children I keep thinking what if I meet someone who wants children or maybe I will want more children with someone i am happier with. There are a lot of what if involved with how I feel.

The thought of my parents being elderly makes me feel so upset. My mum already has a chronic health problem which I worry about. Age just amplifies it.

On paper I have a wonderful children, good job, good house but I'm just left feeling a little " what now" I think.

Plus there's always botox ha.

Of course you're not ready. It's half a decade away.

It's also no big deal, despite the hype.

I turned 40 this year and nothing has changed. Dont fear 40 just accept its just another birthday nothing to worry about at all

Presumably your parents will be in their mid 60s to late sixties? That’s not really elderly nowadays unless they have health problems

I think you should give your head the gentlest of wobbles as turning forty is a hell of a lot more fun than the alternative. An old school friend of mine didn’t make thirty due to having a rare form of cancer that went undiagnosed. I don’t mean to say this in a guilt trippy way, but every year is a blessing

I am 50 this year and don't feel old! My 40s have been great and as I had my kids in my 30s they are 17, 15 and 12 and I'm really enjoying them. My eldest is driving and has a summer job and I love seeing her gain independence. My crisis of "what I am doing with myself, I'm losing my looks etc." came when I was 26! Which seems so funny now but when we are low everything looks bleak.

Age is literally a number, 35 is still very young, you most likely have another 40 years ahead!

I mean this to be uplifting, not depressing!

I used to feel like you. 40 just seemed so old and past it. But first - it really isn’t. 40 these days isn’t like 40 for our parents’ generation or our grandparents’ generation. It’s still young; it’s still cool!

Secondly - having lost several people in their 30’s, I now see every birthday as one that I am glad to reach, because it means i’m still here, and it’s another year of enjoying life as best I can.

Thirdly - plan a party or a trip with your mates . That will give you something to look forward to!

My next significant birthday will be 60 (only 52 now) but jeez 50 is better than 40, and 40 was better than 30. Every decade you give fewer fucks

I don't mean to be mean, but enjoy life please and try not to focus on your age. No one else gives a damn about your worries about ageing, it is organic and it happens. And it will happen to everyone else too!

Think about all those who have died young and consider yourself very fortunate to have survived until now. Well I do anyway, so consider me banned now. LOL.

Ha! 70 is my next “big” birthday, the only thing I’ve given up is skiing, mainly ‘cos I never really enjoyed it! I don’t feel old, and I don’t act or dress old, because I’m not old, I’m just me. I carry on as normal.

Good replys from everyone OP. Untill last month, I was so pissed off I am 30 in November, like you - I wasnt happy and feeling really old/meh, what have I done with my life and all that crap.
Then last month I took really ill and ended up in hospital with what could have been quite bad if had been a much bigger version of a stroke! (I had TIA/mini stroke symptoms).

Since then I really have had a good think of what actually matters and I should be greatfull and not take advantage of life. As some people have said every day is an actual blessing. This doesnt mean I am going to be like Mary Poppins every single morning and I will wallow sometimes -natuarally! However embrace 40! X

Don’t be despondent about growing older
It’s a privilege not given to all

It really is just a number. My next big birthday is 60, apart from a slight feeling of WTF I'll be a pensioner, it really doesnt seem like an issue for me.

Each decade of my life has brought new things. In my 30s I discovered 'travel' as opposed to package holidays. In my 40s I took redundancy, did a five month trip from Cairo to Cape Town, did a full time MA, had a total career change and adopted my son. The 40s was a busy decade!
My 50s are really about my son. We are on holiday this week to a place where I spent many childhood photos. I have a photo of me, my mum, nan and younger brother taken around 1972. We found the same spot and recreated the photo. It strikes me that my mum is so young in that photo, not yet 30, whilst my nan, who is around the sme age as I am now, looks so much like a nanny. My life, my horizons and expectstions are so much broader.
Your 40s can be an amazing decade but don't waste the next 5 years stressing about the inevitsble.

I really worry about the attitude of some who are worried when they reach 30.

If you are lucky you will reach 60 or 70. Worry is not good.

@Ted27

Wonderfully honest and positive post there. Kudos.

@AHintOfStyle

Wonderful post, and so true too, thank you.

Hey im 50 next year, im 49 tomorrow. I will be embrassing it, although the ads for the over 50s is annoying me lol

50 here and every passing year I give fewer fucks
The kids grow up and become more independent (barring one of mine who is disabled). Sure my body doesn't look like it did at 30, but it could be worse..and unlike a few of my friends, I'm still alive!

You 35 not 95! Chill! I hated turning 30, 40 was 'Meh' 50 was awesome! I'm still here, I have more time, more money, and I'm MEEEEE!

40 is nothing OP. I’m 34, and have no intentions of kids for at least another 3 years. It’s alien to me to think of having an adult DC at 40. Hell, it’s a strong possibility you won’t even be half way through your life at that point.

I guess it feels old think your oldest would be 19, therefore similar age to you as when you had them and if they have their first at the same age you could be a grandmother at 40 but it’s about perception.