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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your CF wedding tales?

358 replies

DuggeeRulz · 04/08/2018 13:56

A guest’s plus one (someone I’d never met before) wore a white mini dress to my wedding. I laughed it off at the time (more focused on getting married!) but lots of people were a bit outraged on my behalf that she wore white.

Anyone got some more lovely tales of CFs trying to steal wedding thunder? I do love a good CF story!

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 05/08/2018 18:23

I'm a cf, no doubt about it. I wore white to my best friends wedding.

It was a cotton knee length dress from the gap, white with pale grey stripes. I wasn't sure if it was formal enough so I asked her if it was OK to wear it, and she said omg are you kidding, you're my best friend, wear what you like, it's not that kind of day I just want everyone to be comfortable and happy etc.

So I wore it and her mother was silently but obviously furious.

I grew up in a hippy family and genuinely had no idea how highly some people value wedding etiquette. My friend is like a sister to me and she'd never ever judge such a thing but I have no doubt the oldies still talk about it a decade later.

Anyway, if you see someone making some ghastly faux pas at a wedding, it may well be because their own relationship with the person getting married led them to think it would be a different kind of day.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 05/08/2018 18:27

Apart from my immediate family all turning up at my house as I was getting ready and sitting around with face like smacked arses whilst I ran around after them getting them food and drinks in my full hair and make up, it was sister who was My Wedding CF. She made a big deal about being a bridesmaid but on the day was a nightmare.

She arrived late to get ready then made us late as she wanted to light up a joint before we got in the wedding cars then screamed at me when I said we had to go as we had a strict time slot and we were going to miss it.

She then smoked aforesaid joint outside the main doors of the venue so the smell wafted in... mostly embarrassing as she was 6 months pregnant!

Then she’d lied about sorting shoes out, her dress was floor length so I didn’t notice until halfway up the aisle. Both me and my mum had both offered to get her shoes and pay for her alterations (her dress was falling off it was so big) but she just didn’t give a shit.

After the reception she got changed into a shitty pair of cut off denim shorts and an ancient vest top full of holes. She sat with a face on her until she eventually left.

I don’t think anyone in my immediate family got us a card, let alone a present.

Mrseft · 05/08/2018 18:45

Someone turned up to my wedding in an ivory silk gown. To this day I wonder why she felt it was appropriate to wear it to a wedding. Several people commented on it to me throughout the day. I felt it was out of order personally.

Mrseft · 05/08/2018 18:48

@MorrisZapp I don’t think your were a CF if you asked the bride and she ok’d it. What the brides mother thought is her issue. Wasn’t her wedding.

WillyWasAWatchdog · 05/08/2018 18:50

My best friend wore a black dress to my wedding. Didn't click at the time as I didn't know much about wedding etiquette, but 9 years and one child later when we were going through a messy divorce due to him cheating on me with several women, she decided to tell me she wore black because she hated his guts and didn't want me to marry him because he had tried it on with her. Apparently she couldn't bring herself to tell me at the time. I would have preferred the 'heads up' personally.

Now looking back at it I'm thinking she was actually quite rude wearing black to make a statement rather than telling me her feelings and maybe not a good a best friend as I thought she was.

graysquirrel · 05/08/2018 18:58

I had a crafty christmas wedding. Instead of real flowers had table centres of wool and felt flowers. My DH's mother was sadly at the end of her life and in a nursing home so couldn't attend so we planned to make a big bouquet of the craft flowers and give them to her to put in her room but couldn't as all the guests stole them. Why would you do that? Didn't think I'd have to police guests taking anything/everything on show!

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 05/08/2018 18:59

I've got few and at this point I sort of see them as warnings :-) I would say I should have listened but I got two wonderful DC out of the marriage so all worth it

A random friend I worked with who was super intense had talked me into letting her do a reading (just to shut her up) but the morning of the wedding and over the space of four calls back to back about her and her partner splitting up so he wouldn't be there...my Dsis who in fairness I don't get on with but she was great that morning....she took the phone and told her to f. Off on my wedding morning

As I walked down the aisle with my father she leaned forward and hissed really loudly pointing at her partner " isn't it great we got back together"err yes but I'm literally getting married here!!

Exmil ordered a sodding bagpiper to play me into the church (before the " ahhh what a nice thought "brigade turn up...no it wasn't she absolutely knew I would hate it and did it deliberately to ruin my day ...which she has admitted)

My Dmum changed into jeans half way through the reception because no-one was paying attention to her as mother of the bride so I had to go and convince her she was important

Then finally my oldest friend and bridesmaid had a row with her husband , said husband tried to got my cousin, bridesmaid hit on my boss , sat in the loos and told everyone (including elderly relatives) that she was having sex counselling and my honeymoon was a shut choice and she had gone somewhere proper

Ergh I loved Exdh at the time but God knows the wedding was bloody awful

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 05/08/2018 19:02

Oh and it transpired afterwards my dmum was talking to my now ex bil during the wedding a lot....we later found out it's because he had told my mother he was leaving my Dsis and my dmum was discussing how he should do it and hadn't told my Dsis

He left the next day but apparently all planned at my wedding ...whuch we discovered on return from honeymoon....if ever there was a red flag

8misskitty8 · 05/08/2018 19:03

madja I think it was the brides way of marking her territory as me, Dh and his friend were very close.

At the wedding I was put at a table furthest from the top table with random people from her work. So no-one I knew. (Groom didn’t realise until the meal and wasn’t happy)
After the obligatory first dances, The Dj was taking requests and DH requested our First dance song during the evening. As we were slow dancing remembering our own day, she pushed me away with a smirk and cut in. She attempted to cuddle and press against him. He refused to dance with her and she screamed that his duty was to her not me.
Grooms parents were agog at her.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 05/08/2018 19:08

Went to a wedding recently where one woman wore a white trouser suit with a belly-baring white top. Add in lots of very attention-seeking behaviour, most of the guests thought she was a total fool.

pollymere · 05/08/2018 19:10

My MIL put my SIL in a long white dress which was bridesmaid at best. We did tell her that this wasn't done but she did it anyway. Lots of comments from my guests! I'd have had her as a bridesmaid if she'd wanted to be!

Mrseft · 05/08/2018 19:21

@graysquirrel I wanted my centre pieces to go to a group of my friends who decorated my venue for me while I was getting married. Some of my family tried to steal them. My mum wrestled them off of the offending parties.
I can't believe people think that's sort of thing is just up for grabs!!!

sockunicorn · 05/08/2018 19:22

@shockedandsurprised my god! odd question but i just cant imagine someone being this cheeky....how the hell do you react? do you laugh it off? was she embarassed? did she stay?

cricketmum84 · 05/08/2018 19:25

Not so much of a CF but more of a Would you even ask???

One of my bridesmaids (DH sister) decided that she didn't like the wedding breakfast menu, but not to worry her and her DP would just miss the reception altogether and go to McDonald's down the road Confused. Easily sorted as we just asked the hotel if they could please cater for 2 fussy eaters but I was amazed that she was happy to miss her brothers wedding reception and go to Maccy ADs instead!

timeisnotaline · 05/08/2018 19:32

Family wedding, Other Woman turned up. Grooms face was like a slapped arse.
The grooms face? What about the bride?!!

Suja1 · 05/08/2018 19:52

You are lucky they wore white at your wedding. My mother wore black. The attention had to be on her and she knew she would get that way.

Lillyringlet · 05/08/2018 19:55

So this is the worst one I know of and have seen. My uncle in law is the same age as me (and only 2 years older than my husband) and was marrying someone he'd dating for 10 years.

He planned the whole thing and it was going to include a marquee, hog roast and amazing food made by his parents (seriously their food is epic). It was going to be a lovely country wedding and very affordable.

The mob finds out about the wedding plans and demands it to be utterly changed. They lost all the deposits for everything to have to book out a whole "wedding Manor" that all 52 guests would be staying in all weekend for a big celebration and the bride had to go to Paris with her to get a £5,000 dress which I thought didn't fit her that well... All of this spending she was enforcing didn't come out of her pocket at all...

Sounds bad right... Well this is the kicker... Two weeks before the wedding she tells him that he needs to tell all his guests to not come Friday night as originally planned as she has invited her guests for her second marriage and the will have to arrive after 11. Rather than having all his friends to help unload all the booze, he has to do it alone and then she complains that's he is all hot and sweaty. She only put up half the cost for the venue but not towards the flowers or the food... She forced him to spend all this money so she could have her wedding in luxury at a limited cost.

Pissed off the groom who was paying for all this so when he was forced to make a speech it was "when I asked x to marry me, I knew mob would make it about herself some how and here we are" before drinking a load of beer and sitting down.

Apparently the whole room went silent and mob still hasn't forgiven him. He's not going to forgive her any time soon yet his wife was more mad at him than her mother...

GreenMeerkat · 05/08/2018 19:58

One of my DH's oldest friends had a new boyfriend 2 weeks before the wedding and pleaded and begged us to invite him. I didn't want to as I didn't want anyone there I didn't know but was beaten down in the end. Rearranged tables at the last minute, arranged (and paid for) an extra meal with the caterer (one that wasn't on the original menu too as he was vegan). Neither bothered to turn up on the day without so much as an apology or explanation. DH blocked her on social media and has never spoken to her since (once it was established she wasn't ill or dead.... she was at a vegan food festival Hmm)

StrandedStarfish · 05/08/2018 19:59

My cousins were narked that I didnt have any of their children as little bridesmaids or page boys so they brought their boys in matching admiral suits with tricorn hats, and their daughters In matching bridesmaid dresses

GreenMeerkat · 05/08/2018 20:01

@Suja1 my Grandmother did that at my Mum and Dad's wedding (Dad's mother)

sockunicorn · 05/08/2018 20:03

it really confuses me why you would WANT your DC in someones wedding, let alone pay for the outfits yourself and shoehorn them in!!

i wouldnt ever expect my cousins to include my DC! my own sister had a child free wedding and didnt include them in her day despite being extremely close to them (which was fine)

marmaladejar · 05/08/2018 20:04

The bride sneaked off to the brides room between the main and the dessert and opened all her cards and presents.

fuzzywuzzy · 05/08/2018 20:08

The florist that did my sisters wedding flowers warned us that guests tend to steal centre pieces at weddings according to her experience. This was whilst we were debating hiring elaborate bowls for the table settings and she told us we’d have to pay full price for the bowls if they got stolen (which in her opinion they most likely would).

Later a friend confirmed her guests stole her centre pieces, she was shocked as they all seemed like nice normal friends and family and not the thieving gets they turned out to be.

BuffysFavouriteStake · 05/08/2018 20:12

In case anyone hasn't seen them, there's a couple of great wedding cf threads in classics, to which these should be added Grin

Suja1 · 05/08/2018 20:14

@GreenMeerkat That makes me feel marginally better!