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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if my MIL kissing my DH on the lips is weird?

52 replies

MenaMecca · 04/08/2018 02:30

Just a peck, of course.

During my last birthday, my DH kissed me on the lips (peck) and then my MIL saw it and asked for a kiss (same peck on the lips) herself right after.

AIBU to find it weird?

AIBU if I ask my DH not to do it again? At least not in front of me?

OP posts:

QueenDoris · 04/08/2018 02:33

Dunno. Does she squeeze his balls at the same time?

Original poster

MenaMecca · 04/08/2018 02:33

Also, we live in a different country and my MIL came over to visit and left a day after my birthday. My MIL is a big personality, and when she's here, I take care of her - cooking for her, making sure she has everything she needs, etc. She has never cooked nor done any household chore her whole life, having grown up privileged.

Of course, during my birthday (big birthday), it was almost like the day was all about her.

OP posts:

Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:34

My brothers mil does this without even asking. They all find it weird and funny and creepy. Definitely mention it. He’ll be so grateful.

FissionChips · 04/08/2018 02:45

Does it make you uncomfortable because you think there’s a sexual element to it?

Original poster

MenaMecca · 04/08/2018 02:46

Does it make you uncomfortable because you think there’s a sexual element to it?

No. I am sure there is no sexual element to it. It's just weird to me that she'd ask for a kiss right after she sees my DH kiss me!

OP posts:

FissionChips · 04/08/2018 02:50

Oh, good! that would’ve been creepy as fuck to think about.

Is she a bit of an attention seeker?

Original poster

MenaMecca · 04/08/2018 02:53

Is she a bit of an attention seeker?

Yes. I don't normally mind her attention seeking behaviour as I am used to it, and since we live abroad, we're not with her often. But I really found it weird - and on my big birthday at that!

OP posts:

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2018 03:26

She's competing with you.
She doesn't want to be any "less" to your DH than you are - so she's making it "evens" by getting the same attention from him that you get.

Really off behaviour, IMO.

Chinnyreckoning · 04/08/2018 03:31

Queen Doris you just made me wake my baby as I'm laughing so much😂😊😊😊

inneedofinspiration123 · 04/08/2018 03:57

I wouldn't like it. Thank your lucky stars she lives abroad.

Original poster

MenaMecca · 05/08/2018 00:19

Yeah, she visits once a year for around two weeks. Although this last visit, she said next time she’s staying for SIX MONTHS!

OP posts:

9amTrain · 05/08/2018 01:36

Yanbu. Weird.

BertrandRussell · 05/08/2018 01:40

Some families do this-some don'r. If your dh's family do then no problem. If it's a new thing, then problem. You need to find out which before you do anything.

ManyCrisps · 05/08/2018 01:46

You’re not English are you.

sheldonesque · 05/08/2018 01:50

Is she called Gaynor and does she have a friend in Jesus?

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 05/08/2018 07:10

YANBU
I'd consider this to be completely inappropriate. And would feel quite hurt too.

Dillydallyontheway · 05/08/2018 07:15

My MIL used to do this and I found it really weird too. Husband now offer some her his cheek instead and she seems perfectly happy with this

LML83 · 05/08/2018 07:15

If your dh doesn't mind it's really none of your business. Ffs.

Yabu. You admit its not sexual so what is the problem? Do you actually want to ask dh 'please don't kiss MIL until 3 mins after you have missed me even if she asks'

Your not in competition, if MIL thinks that (unlikely) then pity her don't rise to it.

LML83 · 05/08/2018 07:16

**you're

nuttyknitter · 05/08/2018 07:16

Asking for a kiss is odd and attention seeking, but kissing on the lips is perfectly normal in our family.

LML83 · 05/08/2018 07:17

What is he meant to say if she asks for a kiss in front of you? 'Sorry mum my wife is here!?!?!'

Oysterbabe · 05/08/2018 07:20

I don't think you can dictate to your husband how and when he can kiss his mother.

summertimehere · 05/08/2018 07:23

Weirdo & you married him 😂😂

CutesyUserName · 05/08/2018 08:39

Can't believe so many people find this 'inappropriate' and that some would even 'feel hurt'. Jesus, it's his mum, get a grip!

If there's no sexual element (which OP says there isn't) then the worst it is is that she feels a bit competitive with wife over his affections. Not ideal but not a hanging offence.

Icklepup · 05/08/2018 08:42

I'd say it's weird

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