'Milestone' Birthdays really a big deal for adults?

[DailyMailCanKissMyAss]

NC just in case! But Elderly Korean Woman and Penis Beaker

I'm happy to be proved wrong but I really don't get adults going over the top about birthdays generally but are milestone ones really that big a deal? I mean I get reaching 90 and above is an accomplishment and should be celebrated and made a HUGE fuss of.

But 50? 60? 65? 70?

My ILs make more of a fuss of their own birthdays then their kids/grandkids. I've not been brought up like that, kids birthdays are important to me but as an adult a card and congratulations is enough.

FIL has a milestone coming up, apparently 65 was important so ridiculous fuss made, its 5 years later hes 70 and a fuss must be made again.

I appreciate I am getting irrationally angry about it and am probably being unreasonable but does everyone make a big deal of these birthdays and I am therefore a misery?

We're having a fairly big party for DH's 50th.

His dad didn't make it to 50.

Grandad didn't make it to 50.

So it seemed like a nice thing for the family to celebrate.

Pardon us.

Life is short. We have big parties (and had a big wedding) because I just love having all the many people we love in one place. I'm aware we're exceedingly lucky to have so many amazing people we care about, and who care about us. Our celebrations aren't lavish - a backroom of a pub, a garden, cupcakes, Aldi prosecco - but anything can happen and I want to live life with no regrets. My best friend's father, fit as a fiddle in his 50s, came down to breakfast and died a few months ago. My own dad, fit and healthy until MS put him in a wheelchair 15 years ago, meaning he can't do half the things he hoped to with his retirement.

Every day is a gift, as is love, and we should celebrate the time we have with the people we love as often as we can. And I'm a cynical, snobby bitch the vast majority of the time.

I normally hate being centre of attention. Hate birthday parties so we just don’t have them. But I turned 60 3 weeks ago, and it was different. My Mum died at 59, and this number has been hanging over me for the last decade. She was an alcoholic and that killed her. I’m not, but for a while it seemed like I was going the same way except I’ve been slowly killing myself overeating.
I have still not conquered that part of my life but I’m so bloody grateful to have got past 59 that I wanted to celebrate all the good things in my life, the love I have, my family.

There’s also a 30th and 35th birthday this year, and a 10th wedding anniversary, so we’re taking the family away for a holiday overseas in 6 weeks, all paid for by us. We’re lucky we can do this.

If this is deemed “pathetic” then so be it but I’m quite comfortable with my choice this time around.

Yeah I feel the same OP, but I think I am just not a party person and would hate lots of attention on me for a birthday.

I bought a dog for my 40th rather than have a party. He’s snoring next to be now.

We talked about planning big family holiday to the USA for our joint fortieths this year. Then we got weirdly morbid and worried one or other of us might be dead by then, so booked it for our 39ths instead. As it turned out I have had some serious health issues this year, and at one point it looked like a rather prescient decision (all ok now) but it meant that out 40ths were pretty restrained by comparison.

Question for people who hate these sorts of things: how DO you see your friends?

Because our social calendar is filled with birthdays, weddings, kids birthdays... All sorts. These events are just a nice way to get together semi regularly, and the official nature of the the date is a lot easier than trying to find one that suits everyone.

Finding a date for everyone at the moment usually just entails delaying and delaying because one person can't attend. If it's set by the person's birthday, it's nice and straight forward.

I don't think they have many thecats, hence the weirdly defensive and OTT 'people who celebrate birthdays are pathetic' posts.

Having known far too many children not make it to see our their childhood birthdays, I never take a birthday for granted. None of us are promised a tomorrow, if I go out before my next birthday I hope my family can have nice memories of me and birthdays are included in that.
I had a party for my 30th but very low key ones before and after, cake and cards etc but I always take the dc out to do something on my birthday - something they want to do! And then dp and I have a couple of nights away, it doesn’t involve any hoopla for anyone else.
But I do like an excuse to get out and catch up with people. In my circle, non landmark birthdays are generally celebrated in a local
Pub or restaurant if at all.
Big birthdays are usually a party and I enjoy them. I like celebrating - too many people are denied the privilege of getting older.
My dm the other day was wittering on about her 55th birthday and asking if it was a big birthday or not. I said no she’s bloody materialistic and definitely in it for the presents - we are going into London and having a meal out with her, I’ll get her a present and that’s that. She’ll be happy, that’s all that matters.