To ask people not to comment on new mums' weight?

[Annalogy]

It's so disheartening. My DD is now 10 weeks old and people are continuously commenting on my "baby weight"

The latest was 'oh, I see that you've lost MOST of the baby weight' and 'you'll look good once you've lost that baby tummy!'

I think there's way too much pressure on new mums to bounce back to their former dress sizes.

WIBU to ask if people could possibly not comment on my Mum tum?

Its never going to happen.A week after giving birth my ex said "Wow your belly is still really big!"

Just tell them to fuck right off. Quite frankly they're arseholes if That's all they can scrape together from their empty head to say.

Where do these people exist? No one has EVER said anything similar to me nor would dream of it.

OP - tell them to fuck off. Seriously. Next time say ‘my weight is none of your business. Either stop mentioning it or fuck off.’

I think i would comment back along the lines of I have just had a baby, what is your excuse? People are so rude.

When I had ds2 I was in Boots with him in the pram(he would have only been a few weeks old) and an assistant said ohh when is the next one due looking at my stomach. It really upset me.

Who are these people saying these things? If anyone had said anything like that to me, I’d have looked at them like they had two heads.

I only had positive comments “you can’t even tell you’ve had a baby!” but then I was one of the “lucky” mums who left hospital in my pre pregnancy clothes.

I can’t imagine people commenting on people’s weight gain.

My dad said it to my sister.

It absoutely DOES happen. People comment all the time when your overweight.

Ignore those idiots, not everyone can get rid on post preg tummy no amount of diet and exercise can get rid of loose skin.

YANBU. My skin is so stretched after three big babies, I can see people glancing at my stomach which looks worse as the rest of me is in proportion. It’s fucking rude.

Say “yeah but this time next year I’ll be back to normal and you’ll still be a thoughtless twat, so...(smile, shrug)”

Also, my body shape looked pretty normal again fairly quickly, but I have a serious prolapse and a weak core 11 months pp, so what shape you are doesn’t even indicate recovery (and apparently when people say the “I can’t even tell you’ve been pregnant” comments when you’re dealing with life-altering, chronic birth injuries and couldn’t give a toss about being able to button your jeans, the correct response is apparently not bitter laughter and “want to see my fanny?” )

Really, the best rule is: not your body? Not your business! Do your best to ignore, and congrats on your new human.

People said it to me with both of mine, I just laughed as I was two stone heavier than usual!

My great aunt told me 12 hours after DD was born that it was “time to lose the weight now” among other unhelpful “advice”.

She was shown the door.

I’m sorry people have made you feel so crap OP, what a thing to say to a new Mum!!

9 months to make a bump, 9 months to shift it is what I was told. Mind you my youngest is 4 and I’m still shaped like a baked tattie

Verbena87

Omg you have some not nice people around you.

I went to the GP at 6 days postpartum because I thought I had an infection. She looked at my tiny, newborn daughter, said how cute she was, then when I said I was feeling feverish she said 'and you're pregnant?' Because I had a tummy. NO BITCH I GAVE BIRTH 6 DAYS AGO.

My husband took some photos of me & new born about 3 hours after giving birth. Admittedly I did look a fright - but when my late FIL saw them his only comment to me was 'well, you've put on a lot of weight, you'll have to lose that fat pretty fast'.

My health visitor came to my house for an introductory meeting two weeks ago (to give me useless leaflets about services with limited opening hours I can't get to without a car). She expressed surprised at how 'big' I was at 35 weeks. Such a stupid comment from someone who should know better.

Tell them not to be so fucking rude. As I said to my FIL who had commented on my size, " I expect I can shift this so called baby weight quicker than you can stop being an asshole". Didn't see him for weeks after that comment. Win.

You’ve got the wrong friends and family tbh, I’ve had 3 dc and never had comments like this!

I’m sure it does get said I don’t doubt that but anyway saying it is just a twat tbh. Anyone with a brain can understand that after carrying a baby food 9 months it may take a good few months to come off

Do people actually say this in real life?!

Went to a wedding 10 weeks after DS2 (big complicated c-section - not that it makes a massive difference, but the 'shelf' was very pronounced) - I tried to find a flattering bf dress, thought I had, felt ok-ish then one of the grooms elderly male relatives said 'goodness, pregnant again so soon...' I had a newborn in my arms! Grrr. Also same sort of time a Boots till person offered me details of their 'pregnancy club' and asked how far along I was - I clearly had a brand new baby in the pram..

I'm losing the baby weight now finally....DS2 is nearly 9 years old!

People have unrealistic expectations of what a woman looks like postpartum due to celebrities being back in their size ten skinny jeans a day after giving birth. It doesn’t happen for most people. I had no idea when I was having my first DC that my abdomen wouldn’t suddenly shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size and that I’d have a bit of a mum tum for the rest of my life.

@Mousefunky

People have unrealistic expectations of what a woman looks like postpartum due to celebrities being back in their size ten skinny jeans a day after giving birth. It doesn’t happen for most people. I had no idea when I was having my first DC that my abdomen wouldn’t suddenly shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size and that I’d have a bit of a mum tum for the rest of my life.

Agree with this 100%. Celebrities losing the baby weight really quickly, don't do anyone any favours.

Yes @hogtini, and the other small handful of doubters, people DO actually say this kind of thing in real life!

I believe you @Annalogy because this happened to me to, albeit in the 1990's.

I had been in hospital, and gone through a crippling 44 hours of labour, had an emergency c-section, was in so much pain I wanted to die, put my husband and family through hell as they were worried me and the baby were going to be OK, and then spent 11 days in hospital after.

Went out for the first time to the big shopping centre when our baby was 2 weeks old, and the FIRST person I bumped into who I knew was a male colleague of my husband's ... Did he ask 'how are you?' or say 'the baby's cute.' or anything similar?

NO! He pointed at my tummy and grinned, said 'is the baby still in there?' I said NO, with a look, and pointed to the pram - 'she's in there' I said.

Oh, well it must be twins, and you've left one in there, coz your belly looks the same as it did before you had the sprog... haha

Cunt.

His WIFE said 'For fuck's sake, she gave BIRTH 2 weeks ago, give her a break!' The guy looked annoyed that no-one thought he was funny, and me, my husband, and his wife were all glaring at him.

DH said, 'she will be slim again in a few months but you'll still be bald and ugly haha.' And then gave a too.

DH didn't CARE whether I was 'slim in a few months,' by the way, he was just putting twat-face in his place.

I also got a few comments after that too; from a neighbour of my parents, a colleague of mine, and also a relative, about how it was weird I still looked pregnant, how I will look much better when the belly has gone, and how the baby weight had gone to my face.

All within a MONTH of having the baby!

Cunts.

The vast majority of people were gracious and lovely and complimentary, but yeah, I did get a few rude comments within the first month after the birth.

@PinkHeart5914

You’ve got the wrong friends and family tbh, I’ve had 3 dc and never had comments like this!

What a supremely ridiculous thing to say.