Wibu to leave my son in this scenario

[Frazzled2207]

Was at a major shopping centre earlier (they had a free kids event on, I don't normally take them there!)
Two DSs are 3 and 5. 5yo is fairly sensible and mature for his age, 3 yo not so much.
At lunchtime they got whingey and demanded lunch. Agreed on McDonald's which took quite a while and by the time it came they were very whingey.

Found table, get bits out, elder son very happy tucking into burger. At that moment younger son demands toilet. He is only quite recently trained so from experience I know that getting him to wait is not an option.
I look around and there is a very respectable looking family (with older children- young teens) sat on the next table. I asked them if they'd be fine keeping an eye on 5yo while I dashed to loos with 3 yo. They were totally fine with it. They were not far away (the loos). 5 yo was fine with the plan so off I went. I was back in 3-4 minutes. All was well. Mum of the other family (fistbump if you're reading ) when I thanked her said "don't worry I remember what it's like when you have two smalls by yourself". However there was an older couple nearby as well and they tut tutted loudly in a very disapproving fashion and said within earshot "I can't believe she did left her son like that".

So WIBU to have done this? Agree not ideal but what were my realistic other options given that we were just getting food out- just leave it all there, take both boys and risk it being taken away? Put it all back on the tray and take it to the toilets with us?

Realise that probably the best thing was to have done toilet stop before McDonald's but they were very whingey wanting food.

I would have done it as I don’t think there’s a child stealer around every corner but I know a lot of people that wouldn’t... your son was fine so there’s no issue!!!

I think it was a reasonable thing to do in the circumstances. I also think a lot of people have lost the ability to weigh up risks because they've been letting the daily fail tell them what's dangerous for too long.

I think what you did was fine

I have done that before. A lovely lady at the library yesterday took the the 2 older DCs outside into the library garden and read them a book! They loved it!

YANBU - this is the second thread I’ve read in the last half an hour where judgy elderly folk have proffered their unwanted opinion on a mother’s parenting. There was a time when elderly folk were wise and kind and understanding (I know they’re not a homogeneous group but even so... what are the elderly folk of today coming to?).

You made a sensible judgment call in a difficult situation - I’d have done the same - they should have been more sympathetic.

I'm elderly, I don't know what they were moaning about. We left our babies outside shops in their prams, perfectly normal in that day and age.

You could have put the food on the tray and asked the family to keep an eye on it for you whilst you took both DSs?

Seems fine to me. Plenty of now elderly folk would leave babies outside shops in prams or children outside the pub in cars, if the 'growing up in the 70s' thread was anything to go by.

I wouldn’t say your unreasonble..

But leaving my son wth complete stranger isn’t something I’d ever do, I wouldn’t even have considered it. I am overly paranoid though and my mind immediately goes to cases like James bulgar and Myra hindly (women and children are usually the trusted people).

And I have to say I’d als be shocked to see it. (But obviously would never tutt or judge in a million years)

YANBU.

Needs must! The 5 year old was probably too engrossed in munching his food to notice you’d gone!

I would have asked the people next to you to ensure the food wasn’t cleared away and taken both children. 5 year old could have taken his burger with him. I personally would not have left the 5 year old. Obviously it would be extremely unlikely for anything to happen but imagine having to live with that decision if it did.

Done that a few times, cannot believe people think its not ok.

"" We left our babies outside shops in their prams, perfectly normal in that day and age.""

I did, in the 80's. My Nan told tales of me being left in my big Silver Cross pram and not remembered about until it was time for me to be fed.

I can remember kids as young as five playing out in the 70's. I don't remember older people being wise and kind, tbh. They were a mixed bunch.

I think it's a combination of the effects of aging and enjoying having a moan.

I blame table service, there were a lot less of elderly people in McDs until that started. I've noticed them having a moan about kids and Parents.

Seems reasonable to me. A family with kids is unlikely to steal a small child in a public place, and if they did the old couple were clearly looking out for it!!!

(Probably disappointing for them that there was no drama, some people live boring lives!!)

Perfectly reasonable, no one with several of their own is going to run off with another one, thats for sure!

Roll your eyes & ignore the muppets.

My gran bless her not only left the baby outside the shop while shopping, but also on one occasion when she went home as well, apparently forgetting altogether that she’d got a baby!! He survived.

I wouldn't do it personally, but I have anxiety so am not always rational with my thinking. Certainly wouldn't judge someone else for doing it though

I wouldn't do it - I have severe anxiety though.

I think your DS was probably safe enough.

OP Don't worry, what you did was fine and in addition gave the elderlies something to tut about! They sound bored!

I think that was reasonable and would not judge. I would be a bit nervous about doing it though. I used to insist on toilet stops first when my girls were small and I was there on my own with them so luckily on the few occasions we went into fast food restaurants I never had to ask someone to keep an eye on them.

Bit naughty of the elderly couple to judge you though as in their day many people left prams outside shops as they were so big. My mum did that herself with my sister when she was a baby. The problem with todays media cycle is we think there are perverts and child abductors round every corner when 99% of us would never dream of harming kids.

who are theses people who make comments on leaving children/ breastfeeding/ how a child is dressed.
I have never ever experienced any comments about my parenting. I am prepared to accept I could just be blissfully ignorant as I don't tend to give a rats arse about what strangers are saying!

I think it was fine.

I'm surprised at the amount of people on mumsnet who encounter rude strangers like this. I've never experienced anything like it and never heard of it happening in real life.

I think I would have taken both children and asked the neighbouring table to keep an eye on the food. And told them not to allow anyone to eat it or clear it away.
In reality, your child would be safe, but I'd personally not leave a child with a strange family. But you were there and saw them and I wasn't.

Cross post with vandrew4, lol.

I've offered similar help, and had it offered to me. You can read danger into anything, but FWIW I think a family with kids, in McDonalds, in the daytime, in the UK is a fairly safe bet for safely watching your 5 yo for literally 2 mins while you pop to the toilet a few steps away.