To hate people who joke about being ‘a little bit OCD’

[TeamB1]

Just that really.
My other half has OCD. It is not a joke and governs every part of our lives. It’s not just checks- it’s the intrusive thoughts and compulsions and it’s very very damaging.

People who joke or (even worse) boast about OCD if they like things very clean have absolutely no idea what extra damage they do. OCD is a very misunderstood condition.

It irritates me that people who like cleaning call it obsessive cleaning disorder. Er no. I had ocd as a child. It was awful I would make myself not eat or drink. Not change my clothes all sorts. So it annoys me when people who just like spraying zorflora around call it ocd. OCD can manifest itself through cleaning/hygiene but not everyone with ocd will present it that way.

It's saying you "are" OCD that annoys me. No-one says "I'm gastroenteritis" or "I'm non-Hodgkin's lymphoma", do they?

And I agree with headinhands. It gets trotted out as justification for women who spend ages fuss-arsing about with housework while their partners do nothing because they "don't do it to my standards."

I have an OCD diagnosis. I'm really untidy with poor executive functioning. Before I was on medication I was plagued by intrusive thoughts, one of which was not being sure whether I'd murdered someone and forgotten somehow. I actually don't mind the odd OCD joke - you have to laugh, or else you cry - but the OCD=cleaning fetish thing really annoys me.

Yes I find it idiotic and ignorant and it doesn't even make sense.

I might say "I'm a little bit obsessed with X", and that would be true. Just like if I was feeling down for a while I might say "I'm feeling a bit depressed at the moment". I wouldn't say "I'm a little bit clinical depression", because that would be nonsensical!

YANBU. I make a conscious effort to avoid using this phrase.

Probably doesn't make sense, but a lot of things people say today have derived from language that was used incorrectly and then stuck.

How else would you describe it? I've said it before, to my DP when we first met. I have to have doors open, every internal door in the house. I couldn't sit down or sleep knowing there was a door closed. Don't know why, it's completely irrational and DP thought it was odd i kept getting up to open doors after he'd shut them. I just said I had a bit of OCD. It's universally understood, and I reckon its a spectrum like autism, people can be high functioning or it can completely effect their everyday lives. Maybe its only a little bit obsessive because thats less than completely obsessive. I think that makes sense, can't think of another way to say it?

You could just say "I have to have the doors open." Or, "I have this thing about having the doors open." Or, "I like having all the doors open." You could go with "having the doors shut makes me uncomfortable for some reason", or "I don't like having the doors closed."

People with OCD don't tend to like drawing attention to their compulsions. I'm mortified when someone has noticed one of mine. My boss had known for months about how I know the exact time it takes me to walk to any location at work, and will always leave exactly that amount of time to get there, no less and no more. I really thought I'd been more discreet. Thankfully, he's been nice about it.

I don't clean. I do have periods of intrusive thoughts and some issues around contamination fears. And I have rituals to cope with them, mainly counting.

I've never talked to anybody about it though. Even at times when it has started to be a problem. I think tendencies that way are a bit of a family trait also.

So I have said in the past that I have some OCD tendencies, or that I'm a bit OCD.

It's right up there with 'we are all a little bit on the [autism] spectrum'.

Agree with head it is definitely used most by women who are using as a badge of honour of how tidy their homes are.

My daughter is on the pathway to be diagnosed with ASD but she has strong ASD traits. Rituals that she HAS to do before she can function in the day. These are worse when she is anxious.

She is actually a hoarder and is extremely untidy.

I don't know if she will be diagnosed with OCD or not but my goodness it's challenging and distressing to see your child unable to do normal or even fun activities because of their compulsions.

I am not the thought police or trying to stop freedom of speech but language can be offensive and trivialising any serious mental health issues IS offensive.

I get wound up by it too OP. It's a horrible condition to suffer and yet people seem to glamourise it.

I frequently get asked to clean people's homes
Assumed I am a domestic goddess
Told how excellent something must be because of it

No! None of that, and it's bloody irritating to have something that has nearly ruined my life altogether at times be talked about as though I should be delighted to have it

It's just ignorance but it's really, really upsetting ignorance as then I feel like it's my job to educate you on the reality of OCD

And then when it's not glamorising it, you can't just have preferences without someone claiming it's your OCD

Having said all that I think people with other MH conditions get an even worse time of it with the stigma

I have OCD tendencies which become a lot worse when I am going through a patch of major anxiety. I have been assessed a couple of times as an adult by medical professionals and fall a little short of the threshold of an official OCD diagnosis. I'm pretty sure that, had I been assessed as a young teenager, I would have been diagnosed with OCD. In a way, I am 'a little bit OCD'. The tendencies I have affect me badly from time to time, but most of the time I am in control of them more or less. I would never use that phrase, though. I would say exactly what I have said in this post: that I have OCD tendencies.

I think many people have no idea how crippling real OCD is. It is not something to wear like a badge of pride. I think people also don't understand that OCD often isn't about cleaning. That frustrates me, too.

Hate them, no. Mentally tag them as a possible waste of my time - call it strike one - yes. That said, I joke about it myself, just not in that way (and rarely if ever publicly). I helps me. I’ve got it. Bad when I was young, mostly under control now, though like an alcoholic, I think you’ve always got it. I wouldn’t wish the panic attacks triggered by horrifying intrusive thoughts on my worst enemy.

I am aware that I have some behaviours that are mildly obsessive, but I would not use the term ‘a little bit OCD’ to describe myself - I can see that there is a huge difference between having some obsessive behaviours, and having diagnosed OCD.

So no, OP, YANBU.

There are other perfectly good, accurate ways to describe having some obsessive behaviours without using the term OCD.

I think many people have no idea how crippling real OCD is

I disagree, I'd guess that most people understand that 'real' OCD is very serious.

A couple of months ago, I explained away some weird behaviour of mine to a colleague as 'a bit of an OCD moment'. I could tell that he took the hump as obviously, his mind went to the same place as the OP's (thinking I was making a joke out of OCD).

The thing is that I actually do have OCD, and always have had OCD.

So maybe the above explains some insensitivities? That sometimes it might actually be somebody with OCD making the joke?

I AM a little bit OCD- it doesn’t stop me living my life so I’ve never gone and got diagnosed but I tick a lot of the symptoms. Compulsive actions and getting nasty horrible thoughts in my head I can’t get rid of. Why shouldn’t I make light of it to try and make myself feel better?

@LookAtIt Of course some people understand it is crippling, but I genuinely don't think a lot of people do realise how serious it is - I think there is a genuine misunderstanding among many people that OCD sufferers simply have an overwhelming need to make things really clean and orderly. I don't think many people understand the overwhelming, all-consuming fear and irrationality that is behind OCD thinking. Otherwise, I don't think they would use the term so flippantly.

SB1189, if your compulsions, etc really don't stop you living your life, the chances are you wouldn't meet the threshold for diagnosis. The word Disorder in the name is just as significant as the other two. Even if a psychiatrist would give you the diagnosis were they to assess you, as this hasn't yet happened I think it is wrong to appropriate an illness in order to pass off your own particularities as a bit of a joke. You could make light of how you have to do things a certain way, or can't stop thinking certain thoughts at times, but you don't have to use the label. It might make you feel better, but does it not matter that plenty of people whose lives have been ruined by OCD are made to feel worse by your language?

Nobody "is" OCD. Some people have OCD.

Technically you could be OCD - obsessively compulsively disordered or obsessive compulsive disordered.
SB1189, if your compulsions, etc really don't stop you living your life, the chances are you wouldn't meet the threshold for diagnosis.
At the end of the day even someone with severe OCD still lives their life, it's just that their life revolves around their coping mechanisms & obsessions more. I have OCD. I still live my life, but when I go to bed it takes me longer than someone without it. And the thoughts... I have to put up with them. And it stops me going out much - so my life now involves staying in more than would be good for me. It's still my life, just different to how it would be if I didn't have it.

Nikephorus all right, fair enough. Living your life the way you'd want to might be more accurate, because surely no one hamstrung by compulsions, rituals and intrusive thoughts would want it to be that way. And if a person experiences any of the above but they cause minimal inconvenience and distress and haven't otherwise negatively impacted their existence, I don't think they could possibly be diagnosed with OCD.

I guess I am still "living my life", but only because I'm still alive. It's hard to accept that this is my life, the one I was destined to live. In terms of achievement, fulfillment, contentment, joy, meaningful human connection, I truly have nothing because of OCD.

"It’s just a turn of phrase" that excuse has been used repeatedly to excuse offensive comments. Words have an impact, not just on the people they're directed at but on the consciousness of everyone hearing/reading them.

Yes we have freedom of speech but there are limits.

The mentally ill are a group which is still subject to discrimination, dismissal of their feelings and their experiences. There's still huge stigma around mental illness especially the less 'acceptable' less understood illnesses.

A minority of that group not being offended doesn't make it acceptable.

There are certain racist and sexist words and terms which a minority of those to whom they are directed don't get offended by - doesn't make it acceptable to use them against those who are offended by them.

"I don't use the phrase as I understand some people don't like it and it's not exactly hard not to use it." Exactly - NOT using it hurts nobody, using it in an offensive way does hurt & offend some people.

"I think most people are fully aware that a diagnosis of OCD means something very different and much more serious than what someone means when they say 'joke' about being a little OCD. I don't see that people would actually be confused." Not always true. As I said I've even come across so called mh professionals that don't understand it properly, are dismissive.

"language can be offensive and trivialising any serious mental health issues IS offensive." Yes. Thank you.

"I don't think many people understand the overwhelming, all-consuming fear and irrationality that is behind OCD thinking. Otherwise, I don't think they would use the term so flippantly." Agree

Flourella agree with your last post too.

Doesn't bother me. I've had it for 30+ years and life has been a living hell at times but I don't feel its meant to hurt anyone - its just uneducated. They have no idea what people go through and thankfully so.

Have you honestly never said ‘I’m starving’

I reckon some people mind “their condition name” whatever it is, being bandied about and some don’t.

That’s the way the world wags.

Personally I don’t think we own certain words and can say what we like about anything. It’s not a crime to have an opinion, or express it how ever we wish. No one has the right to stop someone having a thought or speaking their mind.

I’m quite often ‘starving’, but have never been in a famine situation.
I’m quite often say I’m depressed about something, but am no longer clinically depressed, so know it’s just a turn of phrase.

No one owns the phrase “depressed” or “starving” nor is it patented with a license needed to use it, and I don’t begrudge it’s use in common parlance. Same with the phrase “OCD”.

While depression affected me very personally, I don’t take it personally that people use the phrase “depressed” daily without actually being clinically depressed. Doesn’t bother me at all.

Maybe you’ve seen in this thread that others also have also found a different and more relaxed perspective about the language we use.

I hope you are able to see that not everyone has to be triggered by words we hear, and that you can take heart from pervious posters and my experiences and find a happier frame of mind.

Disclaimer.... My psychiatrist is big on “finding a happy frame of mind” ... mindfulness in this regard helped me tremendously in my recovery, that and AD meds of course.

I think the OP sounds very stressed, and needs more support for herself. It’s often the supporting partner who bears the brunt of the load.
I hope you’re feeling better soon OP, and have stopped feeling that it’s such a personal insult that people blithely use certain words.

I find there’s no point raging against the world... it wags along without much consideration for anyone I find.
If you do want to get angry about something, how about focusing your energy, and protest about the lack of funding in MH services? I find it very therapeutic to do this.

OP, I agree with you, but I would also be wary of suggesting that people can only claim to have mental health problems once they are diagnosed is very short sighted. Mental health disorders are quite hard to get diagnosed, and scoffing at someone for not having a diagnosis is to completely dismiss the lack of parity of esteem mental health problems have in our health system (and indeed in many others).