Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at stupid comments?!

72 replies

PriscillaSM · 01/08/2018 16:39

I've recently bought my own house. I'm relatively young (early 20s) and have been saving since I started working full time 6 years ago and have finally been able to afford a deposit and get a mortgage etc. Feeling proud of myself for managing to do this at my age if I'm honest.

So why do people feel the need to constantly tell me that I shouldn't have done so without a man? That I will not be able to cope with bills without a man? That I should have waited until I have a man because obviously I need a man to run the house?

WIBU to tell them to piss off with their unneeded comments?!

OP posts:
Original poster
PriscillaSM · 01/08/2018 17:21

@OftenHangry I just wish people could be happy for other people doing well. I’ve even been berated for ‘treating’ myself to a cheap new bed because I ‘know nothing about budgeting’ even though everything else I have has been second hand from family and friends

OP posts:
TopShagger · 01/08/2018 17:22

When I was in my early 20's I was a damn fool. Doing the usual shit, crap job, living for the weekend etc. Wasted so much time. Don't get me wrong, some parts of it serve as fond memories even today, but if I could have my time all over again I'd do what you've done. Nothing but congratulations and respect from me OP.

FeistyOldBat · 01/08/2018 17:24

Just wait till the sink is blocked

I don't have a man in tow (yay!). When my sink was blocked I just put the ring attachment on the hose of my Dupray steamer and aimed the steam down the plughole. One cleared sink, no man needed.

Grin
Fuckedoffat48b · 01/08/2018 17:27

Congratulations. I think they are just being jealous dick heads, and you should ignore them.

bengalcat · 01/08/2018 17:27

Well done you - just be sure you hold onto your assets when you do meet a man etc

PhyllisWig · 01/08/2018 17:28

I bought by myself when I was your age and no one commented apart from the fact that dh was moving in too (he was just my boyfriend then). Then I got of comments re how he was freeloading/taking me for a ride etc. In fact he paid all the bills which were more than the mortgage. Plus paid for going out 75% of the time plus did more housework than me.

I have since bought 2 houses with him and has done fuck all in terms of sorting out bills/mortgages/legal stuff. Fuck all. He's only just ok at diy but prefers to get a man in.

On the other hand he had raised 2 kids, allowed me to progress my career and still does 75% of the housework as a sahd. People are dicks.

GahWhatever · 01/08/2018 17:28

I feel your pain OP. I am financially independent. I was before DH came and still am.
I do the stupid comments to myself. I was a single Mum who boarded the loft and turned the door on the fridge round etc. Now I can't even put a suitcase away into the loft so it sits on the landing until DH is home, notices it and deigns to put it away. I have no idea why the subconscious voice is trying to make me need someone I am happy to not need but actually want! It must be a conditioning thing. Ignore the comments: they are likely all from nutters like me who wish we weren't conditioned for uselessness when there's a man available!

PhyllisWig · 01/08/2018 17:29

Oh and well done you

Cavycavaprosecco · 01/08/2018 17:30

Congratulations! Ignore them, people are weird.

Chestnut23 · 01/08/2018 17:30

Well done! You've done something amazing and should be proud! When I got my first house a few people said the same: my response was, "wait a minute! What century is this again?!?" They're just jealous. Enjoy your house xx

PurpleDaisies · 01/08/2018 17:31

I’m amazed that people have actually said this.

OftenHangry · 01/08/2018 17:32

@PriscillaSM you get tens and soon hundreds of people in here being happy for you xxx

Stand proud! You are doing really well x

aaarrrggghhhh · 01/08/2018 17:32

I just unblocked my sink. Managed to do it without needing a penis thankfully.

Ebeneser · 01/08/2018 17:33

I bought my own home when I was 23 on my own. I don’t recall any one saying enything negative or condescending to me about it. I rented for a year before that all on my lonesome as well. I’ve always been strongly independent though so maybe they knew better than to say anything!

WorraLiberty · 01/08/2018 17:33

You know some very strange people OP

That is all.

AbsentmindedWoman · 01/08/2018 17:34

Congratulations! That's a massive achievement! It's mad there are people making those comments to you, it seems very old-fashioned.

Dying to know what job you do that has made you so successful so young Grin Can you give us a vague idea?

Mudda · 01/08/2018 17:34

Oh no, however will you cope! 😁

Ignore and congratulations on your new home OP.

PositiveVibez · 01/08/2018 17:35

Just tell them you don't need a penis to set up a direct debit! 😂😂😂

I was 22 when I bought my old house. A little 1 bed house in a nice area of my hometown.

I had nothing but support from everyone.

They are cheeky fuckers. Just ignore and enjoy.

Ohyesiam · 01/08/2018 17:36

People love talking shit.
Ignore them and be very proud of yourself.

Original poster
PriscillaSM · 01/08/2018 17:36

Thank you all! Obviously if I do meet a man and it all goes well then perhaps that would lead to buying one with them (although obviously protecting what deposit I put in etc) which would just result in me having more spare money to waste haha!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/08/2018 17:40

Perhaps it's more that it's unusual for someone in their 20s (either male or female) to get a mortgage nowadays?

I'm nearly 50 and I bought my house alone 25 years ago and no-one batted an eyelid.

It wasn't unusual at all back then.

Agastache · 01/08/2018 17:41

Just wait till the sink is blocked

Why, does a man fly out the u bend?

A plunger and then caustic soda if that doesn't work. No need for a penis to unblock it.

Original poster
PriscillaSM · 01/08/2018 17:42

@AbsentmindedWoman well if I just say that it’s something everyone has to pay but when something goes wrong everyone always experiences issues with this industry Hmm I don’t know if that helps? Although I have regularly done over time (sometimes 3 months withou a day off) out of choice which always went straight to the deposit pot!

OP posts:
ShutTheEffingDoor · 01/08/2018 17:43

I bought a house, just me, in my early 20's. Worked my bloody arse off for it. Happens that I met DH a couple of years later. He's always very quick to point out to others and me, it was my smarts that put us on a good financial footing.

Who is saying this to you?

HollowTalk · 01/08/2018 17:43

I think you're perhaps sharing too much financial information with these people. Just because they ask a question, it doesn't mean you have to answer them.