to be upset when DH helps?

[fishfacedcow]

Please dont say... you should be gad he does cos mine does nothing.. ..

26 years we have been married..... 26 years of him -taking over, taking charge or helping out. Ive had enough

Like yesterday.... i was making tea. I stirred the food with a spatula. Put the spatula on the 'designated spoon rest' And turned to call the child. Turned back and went to pick up the spatula....and he was fucking washing it. I hadnt finished with it!

I laid out stuff to clean...went inside to get a bucket of warm soapy water..... fucker had put it AWAY before i filled the bucket!

Its not charming or gallant.....its insulting and humiliating

He wont sit still and quiet when im driving...... so much that about 20 years ago i said ...'fine im never driving with you in the car again.' He tsught me to drive btw! Excdpt if we go to a party he wants to drink and me to drive. I said 'no way. If im not good enough to drive you when you are sober...im certainly not good enough when you are drunk' and absolutely havent driven with him in the car since.

Oh and once i loaded up the car for a holiday.. . He came home...emptied the boot onto the pavement to refill the car.

I listen to audiobooks and he complains that the teeny tiny light on them keeps him awake.......meanwhile he had two....yes two.... digital alarm clocks at the side of the bed so bright. You can land planes by them. And he has so many electronic things plugged in charing overnight it looks like i have a christmas tree in the corner of the bedroom....

He is obsessive about moving stuff.. ..its like living with a magpie! I leave my carkey on the keyrack by the kettle. The epicentre of the house.....away from all doors and windows so 'someone could use a fishing line to hook them' would be foiled. I go yo get the key..... its gone! I hafta call him at work to ask where hes put the key!

He never ever ever admits he is wrong EVER.

And lastly before i explode another car one.. .. if i park with the nose into our drive...ie drive straight in.... he will move the car...reverse it and park with the nose facing out....... (isnt able to give me an explaination for this one...even though doing it his way leaves the steering wheel in direct sunlight and too hot to handle)

So...everyone...... aibu to still mind about these things..... or should i have gotten used to them by now? Is he being unreasonable..... not listening to me ever?

My ex used to do all these things, it used to drive me nuts but I always tried to make a joke out of it. He was always washing things up that I was still using, putting things away that I had left out for a reason and fussing around me. I don’t miss it at all (I didn’t leave him just for this, there were many reasons).

My husband's idea of "helping" is often my idea of "meddling". But holy cow, I don't know how you put up with yours OP. That level of behaviour would drive me insane.

Flipping heck, I think he'd be under my patio by now if it was my DH.

Have you tried a water gun? Supposed to work on animals... just sayin.....

Slightly more seriously, I'd lock everything up that I didn't want him to touch, and put they keys in a small combination safe. And NOT tell him the code. That would likely include the car keys, keys to several rooms in the house (which I would be out buying locks for RIGHT NOW), possibly some remote controls.

Ooh, this handbrake lock should get the message across to him.
Or attach one of these alarms to whatever item you have pulled out and it will activate as soon has moves it.

I hate to tell you this but this kind of shit gets worse as they get older. I've had to threaten to put mine out of the car in the past.

Drive in and keep your key on your pocket.
Ask him to come in and wash the spoon, use it, ask him to wash and repeat.
He puts your stuff away, ask him to get it back out.
He rearranges your car, move it again.
He moans about your little light in bed, agree and have a total ban on any light near the bed.
Be bloody awkward too.

Prop not very useful but my father is exactly like this he'll ask you to do something and stand behind you watch you do it then when your finished he'll do it his way. We leave him to it now 😂

He's a spoony f*cker! There's a thread somewhere in classics most likely.

Seriously his attitude towards you is pretty awful

It's interesting how you view this.
We have been married 30 years, my DH does lots that is similar to yours and I find it a bit funny and a bit (sorry ) cute.
I am so messy that I don't see mess and he loves things being tidy. I think the only way he could live with me is by taking control of crockery, paperwork, cupboards etc.etc. I open the fridge, throw in stuff and slam the door quickly before everything falls out.
I know I am a slattern. I'm sure many of you think I should sort my own shit out but, in my mind, it doesn't need sorting.
In your case the light thing and the tree branch thing are well out of order, and I agree with PP that he is likely to get more not less obsessive but I just wanted to say that, personally 75% of his behaviour I would be fine with. probably not helpful

I've been complaining for the last 5 years (since we got a dishwasher) that DH believes in the dishwasher fairy and leaves all his stuff neatly on the side by the dishwasher EVEN IF HE HAS JUST WATCHED ME EMPTY IT SO HE KNOWS THERE IS SPACE.

A couple of weeks ago he randomly put some stuff in. I was still using it. I just despair. But he is lovely and I'm also irritating so I accept his strange belief in dishwasher fairies.

Mine rearranges the dishwasher so that he can put one and a half more plates in. This is why the DCs will unload it if necessary, but never put dirty dishes away. He is also a backseat driver and I refuse to ferry him anywhere.

However if he keeps his mouth shut and allows me to do stuff in my no doubt highly approximate and imperfect manner he can actually be quite useful.

I get this and it annoys me a lot but tbh I would rather it than live with a messy pig

Sometimes I get clothes out to get dressed and he will try to pick them up and put them away mid way through!!!!!