To ask where all the money comes from?

[Whatsnewwithyou]

Mostly on these house buying/selling programmes with youngish couples in ordinary jobs and budgets of 750k. Is it almost all inheritance?

I have a friend who always seems to be going off skiing and another who has been unemployed/job searching for ages but still shops at John Lewis and goes on holiday. Both are single and have very nice houses. It turns out both have trust funds from grandparents but I knew then both for years before they ever mentioned it. I used to wonder why I couldn't afford all these holidays etc when they could and thought I must be really bad with money.

So are trust funds and inheritances quite common? They must be, right?

I'm early 30s, grew up in London. I know 5 people who own houses.

One of those had a high paying job and bought cheaply in the countryside near a major city. The others were all given deposits. None of them will tell you that however, I just happen to have known them all long enough to know the full story!!

We will hopefully own a house one day having left London and saving hard. It sucks, but unless there's a massive crash, that's the reality.

but please when you have had to deal with bereavement whilst living on the poverty line do look me up and we can share stories

I did, you were just too wrapped up in not listening to understand that. DP is self employed and I was diagnosed with PTSD in the aftermath of Mum’s death so money was extremely tight, to the point where we were completely skint.

Your assumption that an inheritance (which I’ve repeatedly explained takes at least 6-12 months to even be organised and distributed) makes grieving easier was not only wrong, it was quite frankly offensive.

You haven’t a clue what I went through, but to tell me it wasn’t as hard as you because I apparently (even though I didn’t) have money was grossly offensive. And you accuse me of lacking empathy? Oh that’s funny.

To clarify, he wasn’t working for weeks after Mum died because I was so unwell so we had absolutely no income at all. Nothing bar child benefit and tax credits.

My husband and I are both professionals and were on £50,000 per year each by 25. I had a house that increased in value and we got lucky and bought our forever family home at the bottom of the market.

We didnt have our first child until we were 37.

Now We have a small mortgage for the size of out house/land/stables. Decent savings.
Two six figure salaries (up until ‘arch this year when i became a sahm) and rental income from a property we let.

We know a lot of other parents who earnt first and had kids later in similar positions (i assume as do not discuss finances with friends!) who certainly didnt get it from their folks.

I don't think you said anything wrong, @Thereisonlythismoment. I don't think you or anyone else on this thread is trying to downplay the horrible grief that comes from losing a parent, particularly at a young age. To lose a parent and also face possible homelessness and destitution in your teenage years sounds absolutely overwhelming.

I don't really bother how others spend their money. For us I have scrimped and saved and worked very very very hard often in multiple jobs from an early age to buy my own house BEFORE starting a family. The compromise was obviously less kids than I imagined but it's nice to have a reasonable house in a reasonable area and have paid the mortgage off before kids leave Uni. Now pouring into a pensions pot to fund the old age. Never had a penny off grandparents (half had died before I was born).

How are some people inheriting these vast sums? I thought that these days people were having to sell their houses to pay for old age care fees, meaning hardly anything is left for their children.

@Thereisonlythismoment I’m sorry for overreacting and for projecting my own distress on to you.

Why wonder about other people's finances?

Because people throwing around monopoly money affect the market and therefore the choices of those who don’t have it.

How are some people inheriting these vast sums? I thought that these days people were having to sell their houses to pay for old age care fees, meaning hardly anything is left for their children.

Losing the parents young. My mum died at age 62 (just). FIL died aged 63 (no inheritance though, MIL is thankfully very much alive). ExMIL died aged 63. Losing your parents in your twenties is too young really (Although I realize that the only perfect age is "just before they suffer").

Although buying a house is difficult it is too easy to say with hindsight " oh you older people bought a cheap shitty house which grew in value so you were fortunate". Although it is lucky, people didn't know that the house prices would rise. Just like you don't know now if you should buy and live that bedroomcupboard in boringtown because it will be worth much more in ten years. Some people will make decisions now that will help them in the future and some won't.

Yes to not all elderly relatives needing care homes. Not one of my 5 grandparents (mum's stepmum included) went into a care home as 3 died of fast-growing cancer and 2 of heart attacks.

Many people die suddenly and quickly without needing care homes. DH's grandma was still living independently at 90 when she had a stroke then died in hospital a few days later. My mum was seemingly a perfectly healthy and active 67 year old when she caught a chest infection, ended up in hospital then died of leukaemia a week later.

Thereis - can't believe you have been spoken to like that. I would just ignore it. You were not disgusting at all. I can understand your point. Your father died when you were young and you did not inherit. Sadly everyone loses their parents (though hopefully not at a young age like you did) but not everyone inherits. Fair point.

We live just outside of London where house prices are ridiculous! We are late 20's and friends who own have either had parents remortgage their houses for deposits or had inheritance, these are just ordinary family's but they have made a fortune on property because houses here have doubled in the last 8-10 years. I personally only know of one couple who have saved a very substantial (£100k) deposit themselves and they lived with parents, are both on decent salaries and scrimped for years to save it and then still brought in a less desirable area!

A 3 bed basic house would cost £500k plus and for that we would need a £100k deposit and to be earning around £80k a year and that's not even including fees etc! We have looked into the help to buy where you still only need a 5% deposit but a 3 bed house through that is £650k so much more expensive and it kind of cancels out the extra help if that makes sense?

I do despair of how we will ever manage to buy a house, and if we can't how can our children. We are also on a decent wage but it goes nowhere but we are loath to leave friends and family and our childhood town.

Pirateweasel I was wondering the same regarding the inheritance. It is very sad to see the money which my parents saved so hard over the years by living frugally going so quickly in care fees.

I suppose the other side is people who have had the heartbreak of losing their parents early in life suddenly rather than experiencing years of poor health and dementia.

Regarding the original OP I think there can be a massive difference in wages, house prices in different parts of the country. Another poster commented on salaries earned in the City. If a youngish person on that kind of salary bought a flat in London and sold it they could probably buy a much larger property and luxurious lifestyle elsewhere in the country without having to earn the higher wage if the property was paid for.

Because people throwing around monopoly money affect the market and therefore the choices of those who don’t have it.

My in-laws spent their inheritance on a huge extension that they didn’t really need. It was gorgeous.

They had builders/trades on site for six months. There were probably at least 25 tradespeople involved in total - including several apprentices.

Maybe they should have just kept the money in corporate shares and government bonds rather than ‘throwing it around’ on building work...

My mother lives in her own home. With my brother who has mental health problems. Her only asset is her home. When she dies (according to her will) he moves out within 6 months. Split between the three of us (siblings) Not a cat in hells chance of this is there? Guess I wont be appearing on any property programmes then.

House price inflation helps. Our first house cost about 200k. Bought on two average salaries. Sold at 250, bought second house at 320. Slightly higher than average salaries, but not by much. Said house now worth c700k. So would not be a huge stretch to buy now at 750k. No inheritance needed, just being in right place at right time. We aren't in our 20s, to be fair.

SweetSummerchild You put the emphasis on “throwing around,” where I would put it on “monopoly money,” ie., money that has lost its value when it comes to housing. It’s nice your in-laws spent some of their inheritance on the tradespeople; less nice that massive house price inflation has created a generation of have-nots.

@Holymolynowayimagreeingwiththa I have apologised for my overreaction. But you carry on eh?

Fellow frogs!!!

I have name changed.
Please don’t anyone fall out over me!
Thank you ‘YeTalk’ for your apology. I apologise too for causing you any distress - it was not my intention. This is clearly an emotive topic and it obviously touched a raw nerve in both of us. I wish you well.

DP’s best friend was in a car accident as a child and was slightly brain damaged as a result. His parents received 200k compensation and gave it all to him when he turned 18 (they were well off anyway). He used it to buy a house and a share in a business in Denmark.

I appreciate his case is rare. Could be trust fund, inheritance or lots and lots of debt.

I don't think trust funds are at all common. Inheritance is, but usually not at a young age.

I think buying property young is the key, not just in a boom, not just in London. If you buy young and overpay before you have children, and settle down with someone who has done likewise, then by combining finances you should be comfortably off. That is what accounts for most house purchases of people I know in East London - two flats sold, older starting families, careers well established. No mystery really!