To ask where all the money comes from?

[Whatsnewwithyou]

Mostly on these house buying/selling programmes with youngish couples in ordinary jobs and budgets of 750k. Is it almost all inheritance?

I have a friend who always seems to be going off skiing and another who has been unemployed/job searching for ages but still shops at John Lewis and goes on holiday. Both are single and have very nice houses. It turns out both have trust funds from grandparents but I knew then both for years before they ever mentioned it. I used to wonder why I couldn't afford all these holidays etc when they could and thought I must be really bad with money.

So are trust funds and inheritances quite common? They must be, right?

DSS inherited a trust fund of £40k from his gran when he was 5. By the time he was 21, it was worth £120k. He used that money to buy a doer-upper house with a smallish mortgage.

He spent a year doing it up and working, and 7 years later it's worth approx £300-350k and still only has a small mortgage.

He rented out rooms there while he retrained and now has a business that nets him around £40k.

He may be due another inheritance when granddad dies. He has helped all his children out a lot financially, they are all comfortably off, and we suspect that he may leave the bulk of his estate to the GCs. He has a property worth around £800k-£1m (leafy London suburb) and another in Suffolk jointly owned with his partner worth around half a mill, plus other investments and rented property. However, he is scrupulously fair, and we suspect the other GCs may get the lion's share to redress the fact that DSS got all granny's money, as he was their only GC when she died.

His mother has 2 properties with a net worth of around a mill, and she's a tax consultant so she'll be doing the shrewdest tax planning to minimise IHT. We're considering leaving our house to DGD, so she has a hand up when she goes to uni and/or wants to buy.

Of course, everything could go in care home fees before we all shuffle off and there could be fuck all left!

Chicken drumsticks-
You were given a hand up. You lived rent and board free in your 20s which allowed you to save £10,000 as your house deposit. It’s a luxury not many others have that makes a huge amount of difference to your overall position in life.

So please don’t say that you didn’t have help. You most certainly wouldn’t be in the same position at the same age if you were on your own from the age of 16.

On my own financially at 18 and helped in laws financially. My parents live on a state pension in a rented house. If I was homeless or hungry they would always help, they are loving, simply poor.

Trust funds can attract massive tax bills. I am a trustee, and the annual tax on the fund runs at 45% (although you can claim some of this back, depending on the circs.) The government hates trust funds apparently, and this is to discourage them. Similarly iht can take a massive chunk out of a family's inheritance.
It sounds so amazing to have all this money available: and so easy for those that have it, but there is a major tax downside. You don't get owt for nowt.
I know people who live in constant and alarming debt (with reference to the original post). They manage it by using multiple credit cards (and paying off the minimum), and taking the equity out of their property when it is possible. It's a complete house of cards. To live that way would worry me so much, especially if you had children to be responsible for.

One of the things that I haven’t seen mentioned much on here is redundancy.

DH used to work for a big blue-chip company who would have an annual ‘spring-clean’ of staff (horrible expression). It was a ruthless and very unethical way of culling staff but the payouts were huge in exchange for staff agreeing to a SA.

DH was never affected, but many of his former colleagues walked straight into other jobs with the benefit of a huge lump-sum (probably tax free).

Chicken, OP, she’s not talking about you. You had barely any deposit and maxed out the bank loan which would have been based on your earnings. She’s talking about people who’s earnings in no way reflect their purchase power.

I know loads of people with seemingly small incomes who live in the lap of luxury. In a few cases it's well known locally that they deal in drugs but as for some of the others, I'm baffled!

Debt isn't always bad.

We are planning on installing a new kitchen. Total price is likely to be over £20k. Kitchen company are offering 0% finance - why wouldn't you take the chance to pay the same amount overall and spread the payments over 5 years? We can easily afford the monthly payments even with a change in circumstances and finance lets us free up cash for other things. It's manageable, practical debt and not "crippling" in any way. "Debt" is always painted as this dreadful thing which is awful to have whereas if used sensibly, it's not always a bad thing.

Really, who cares how people are financing expensive homes? Unlikely that it's all dodgy money as the mortgage company are going to want to see evidence of income. Quite possibly money from parents or grandparents but again, who cares?

I am very lucky and do a lot that can be expensive - eg holidays, dinners out, nice flat in central London etc.

It's a combination to be honest, both me and DH inherited over £100k each (and feel incredibly lucky about it) and we both work hard in well paid jobs.

My cousin and I have a friend from childhood who's mum very tragically and suddenly passed away when he was just 15.
When he was 21, money he inherited was used for him to buy a gorgeous 4 bed house in a desirable area. He also started going on lots of very expensive, luxury trips abroad. He also recently got married in an exotic location, extravagant reception etc.
My cousin went through a period of being VERY jealous of him and I had to have a stern word with him as we lived through the complete trauma of our friend losing his mum at such a young age and just to remind my lovely cousin how lucky we are to still have our mum's around

Said cousin had a rather life changing brain injury 5 years ago, meaning he would NEVER be a good candidate for a mortgage so his mum and dad bought him a house for his security, now and in the future

Personally, I have received £0 in inheritance or any other lump sum but so far, I have had a rather ''drama free'' life of which I am so thankful for. What is often not talked about either is the emotional trauma of which these lump sums come from if that makes sense.

Liverpool23, how I agree with your last sentiment. I would rather have my parents, other family and friends who have died than any amount of money. Money is no consolation for grief.

What is often not talked about either is the emotional trauma of which these lump sums come from if that makes sense

Absolutely!

BIL is about to get a significant lump sum from the Army for his PTSD (caused by and then ignored for 15 years by the Army), enough for a deposit on a family home and a lump sum besides.

What people won’t see is the trauma he and his family have endured for 15 years.

And while financially we are comfortable, I’d much rather still have my Mum. Any amount of money is never going to make up for seeing my Mum dying in agony, screaming and begging for mercy.

Sitting in a fancy house with nice things does fuck all to help the trauma.

I think some people take on far more than they can chew. The bank offered us just over a million for our mortgage-we had no intention of going that high. We ended up going for a £500k house, our deposit was £250k, payments are easily manageable and it’s a lovely home. I feel very fortunate.

My BF went for a stupidly high interest only mortgage, gorgeous country pile but they’ve only got about £70 a week left over for food, emergencies etc (they’ve got 3dc) I don’t think I could stand that sort of insecurity. Though admittedly I do suffer a bit of the green eyed monster wherever I go to her house!

I agree @MaisyMary77. Friend 1 lives in a huge house, with the maximum possible mortgage, no savings. They were gobsmacked when it came up in conversation that Friend 2 had savings that would cover months and months of living costs if needed, in part because that friend had always lived in the size of house they needed, not what they wanted (although currently in an expensive area).

Friend 1 hated the idea of a small house or the insecurity of renting.
Friend 2 hated the idea of being tied to a mortgage if circumstances changed.

Different strokes for different folks, and all that.

On these type of threads you always get posters who say that they would have a loved one than the money ...... etc. Poor people are bereaved as well you know only they don’t have the luxury of a financial cushion. My father died when I was mid teens - add grieving on top of the worry that your mother doesn’t know how she will pay the rent or buy food for the next month.

Way to minimise grief Thereisonly

Hate to break it to you but money doesn’t make grieving any easier, nor does it come immediately after the person has died, it often takes many months if not longer.

But don’t let that stop you making out that money makes it easier to lose someone you love eh?

Fucking disgusting statement.

I have a few friends whose parents gave them the deposits for their first house (which with two of them working and about 70K+ in salaries between them meant they could get a decent enough house). Another friend’s parents basically bought her a flat in uni, they paid the deposit and then she paid the mortgage from her loans and earnings. This was just outside of London. She made quite a bit on the sale after being out of uni and working for several years and that went to their next (very nice!) house. Though her partner is in the music industry so it’s not like he isn’t also earning a good salary.

We’re looking to buy next year, first home, in the £500,000-700,000 range. The reason we can is a small inheritance (£10,000 from my dh’s grandpa and £10,000 from my dad), obsessively saving and making some very wise investments with these savings and inheritance which have been very good to us. So yes, a bit of inherited money, though not of the trust fund sort, but mostly living somewhere inexpensive, no debts/car finance/luxuries, saving loads and investing wisely and a bit of luck.

Huge amounts of debt to afford it. And it's sad. Because we should all be able to have the nice things in life, and have time to enjoy them. Otherwise what's the point? If you can't have a decent work/ life balance And have nice things?

I have a fair bit of debt because Of this outlook I must admit. But I honestly would rather have the debt than work my effing arse off constantly for nothing. :(

I am not suggesting that losing a loved one is easier if you have money. However If you can’t see how more difficult it would be for a child who has lost a parent to also have to worry about having a roof over their head or if they will have enough food then I think you are the disgusting one.

I am not suggesting that losing a loved one is easier if you have money. However If you can’t see how more difficult it would be for a child who has lost a parent to also have to worry about having a roof over their head or if they will have enough food then I think you are the disgusting one

I’m sorry about your Dad, and I’m sorry you found it hard with additional worries. But you are bang out of line to suggest that anyone who does have an inheritance doesn’t have these worries either, since it takes between 6-12 months for a will to go through probate, so unless independently well off will have the same worries you did.

Your top trumps attitude to grief was disgusting and I stand by that.

But feel free to call me disgusting if it makes you feel better, I couldn’t really give a fuck. Because your initial post despite your denial did exactly that, imply that anyone with an inheritance somehow had it easier than you. Not only is that wrong, it’s fucking offensive.

You do certainly have a point Thereisonly and I am sorry for your loss too at such a young age

In my current job I have a death in service benefit. God forbid if I die whilst working here, my family will get a lump sum of 4 x my annual salary. It is (sadly) a huge reason why I stay in my current job
(Apologies if I am slightly derailing the thread op)

Inheritance yes, trust funds no. Me and DP have bought (650k age 22) because his grandparents left him it all.
I don't know anyone my age who has bought in the South without inheritance/ gift/ parents own more than one property.

It is not a question of playing top trumps. I am not sure how lacking in empathy someone can be not to be able to appreciate that any trauma can be magnified when you are also in financial difficulty. Not only do you have to deal with the trauma but you also have money worries. I do not intend to post again - but please when you have had to deal with bereavement whilst living on the poverty line do look me up and we can share stories.

I actually get really annoyed when people assume we have been able to buy our house due to heritance or being given money.

I have worked very hard and saved sensibly since day 1, hence between myself and my partner ee have been able to put down nearly a £90k deposit.

We will also have about nearly £1k left between us after all bills are paid, mortgage etc. so we will be ablento afford to go on nice holidays/go out etc. But it is because we have worked hard and are in good jobs, not because we have been given money.