To be annoyed at mums boss?

[bluemoonchances]

Not sure what to do.

My mum has depression and anxiety. She's not been good for months, crying constantly and not sleeping. She tries to hide it from me so as not to worry me, so I know it's bad when she cries in front of me. She eventually went to doctors. Docs put her on meds and signed her off work for 2 weeks. (They wanted to sign her off for a month but she said it was too long, so they did 2 weeks and said they wanted to see her again at the end of 2 weeks) when she went back they signed her off for 4 more weeks.

Her boss has just phoned me to ask after how mum is doing as they didn't want to disturb her. Bit weird but ok, but as phone call went on I felt I was being pressured to justify why she had been signed off for so long. I'm really annoyed.

I don't want to tell mum as she'll feel pressure and anxiety about work, I thought about emailing HR but don't want to get the boss in trouble and make things awkward for mum, or should I email the boss and just say I don't think it's appropriate for her to do that.

Or am I being over sensitive and making a mountain out of a mole hill? I don't know the boss, have met her once.

YABU - the boss has acted appropriately in my opinion. She is trying to ascertain how and for how long she needs to manage with your mother so that the business can continue, nothing wrong with that.

Is it appropriate to phone me about it though?

Well she said she rang you because she didn't want to bother your mum, so that's a good thing isn't it? Presumably you agreed for your mum to give work your phone number for prescisely this type of scenario.

Totally inappropriate to be discussing your mum's health with you and is a massive data protection issue. The manager would be up for a disciplinary for doing this that here, massive no no.

Agree, a huge dp breach.

How is it a DP breach if the boss was asking for news? The boss wasn't divulging anything to the OP.

If inappropriate boss rings again just say you're not comfortable discussing your mum's private health concerns and you'll get your mum to speak to HR to catch up, fun she can make contact on her terms.

Perfectly fine for them to want to speak to your mum to discuss returning to work plans (within reason, it has to be reasonable contact, and they have to bear in mind the actual illness and the potential impact), it's NOT fine for them to ring you. It's really not.

I would email HR advising of what has happened.

It was a considerate way to handle it and I'd be grateful that she was putting your mum's health first. It may be technically a data protection breach but it sounds like a well intended and kind one.

Seriously? It's a dp breach because for all they know the mum hasn't told op, or op might not know how bad it is. Also asking op to divulge health information relating to her mum. The company shouldn't be discussing their employees health information with anyone without the employees express consent.

It is a dp issue, like it or not.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 the boss has my number from last year when I contacted her to arrange a surprise for mum. My mum hasn't given my number to her as a contact number.

Because the boss had no way of knowing if OP even knew about her mother's sickness.

We would also be disciplined for this, I'm not even allowed to discuss an employee with a family member if the family member phones in sick for them, we have to speak to the employee.

If the employee is signed off, the manager should work as if they will return on the first working day after the sick note ends until told otherwise. They have no right to be ringing family and bothering them. The employees sickness is between them and their employer only.

How is it a DP breach if the boss was asking for news?

Possibly because OP might be totally unaware that her DM is off sick as someone elses sickness doesn't concern her (in a nice way) & also DM has not given consent.

The problem is that if you report it, they will contact your mum instead.

Oh dear, so 2 data protection issues there op.

I think I'd let your Mum know tbh, it's possible the boss is being kind, but probable that they were on a fishing expedition. Document what's happened, just in case.

My workplace would never, ever phone DH if I was off sick unless I were unconscious! That said... Not sure I would email HR in case boss took it out on your mum. I wouldn't answer again.

Why do they have your number, do you live with your mum?

It's only a data protection breach if they disclose information to you.

I can't see any ill intention in this. The employer has a right to be kept updated (within reason), and the alternative would be to contact your mum directly. If she's really struggling and this would upset her, contacting you seems a responsible thing to do.

It's a breach of confidentiality to discuss an employee's health with a family member without explicit consent. It's actually a really shocking thing to do - not thoughtful at all. She'd need to contact your mum first to ask if it's ok to talk to you, but the best thing would be for her to talk to your mum directly about creating an agreed return to work plan, or to put her in touch with someone in HR to do this.

I think it's inappropriate even if it comes from a place of trying not to hassle your Mum.

I was signed off for a similar thing last year but didn't want loads of people to know so I said I was on leave. Nobody except my DH, DD and 3 close freinds know even now that I was off sick.

I'd say you are right to be concerned about this. An employer cant take information from a third party about health concerns even if they nominate you as next of kin. Or they shouldn't. Watch that you dont end up being quoted in any action taken against your Mum. I think she may need to ask for a referral to occupational health and also - if she is a member - contact her trade union. Appreciate that she will be feeling very vulnerable but unfortunately I personally think she has cause for concern that her employer is doing this.

They have disclosed information, sensitive personal information relating to health, and pushed op to do the same.

Ill intention or not, that's just not on at all. Yes the employer can make reasonable contact, with the employee. If they can't get hold of them by phone, they can email or letter or text, asking mum to call just to let them know how she is, at a convenient time

YANBU

it’s totally inappropriate for them to be contacting you unless your mum has specifically told them to

When I was off for six months with anxiety and depression my parents didn’t know about it (I don’t live at home) so I would’ve been fuming if work had contacted them.

As long as your mum has told them how long she’s signed off for, that’s all the contact that’s required.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 the boss has my number from last year when I contacted her to arrange a surprise for mum. My mum hasn't given my number to her as a contact number.

If that's the case then yes that is a DP breach. Your information should have only been used for the purpose it was collected, ie: for the surprise only.

That for replies, I think it did come from a genuine welfare check, but as the conversation went on I felt that she was questioning why she had been signed off for a further weeks, she said she was concerned the doctors weren't doing enough as the medication should be working by then. That's when I started to feel annoyed... I don't know what conversations my mum has had with the doctor, and it's not an illness where you magically feel better in a few weeks.

Answering PP, I don't live with her, boss has my number from when I contacted boss about a year ago to arrange a surprise for mum, mum hasn't given my number as a contact number.

8 years ago she had a bout of depression and was on medication, I didn't even know until 2 years later as she didn't want me to worry. That's why I know she's so bad now because she's actually told me this time.

** thanks for replies... autocorrect!