To be annoyed at mums boss?

[bluemoonchances]

Not sure what to do.

My mum has depression and anxiety. She's not been good for months, crying constantly and not sleeping. She tries to hide it from me so as not to worry me, so I know it's bad when she cries in front of me. She eventually went to doctors. Docs put her on meds and signed her off work for 2 weeks. (They wanted to sign her off for a month but she said it was too long, so they did 2 weeks and said they wanted to see her again at the end of 2 weeks) when she went back they signed her off for 4 more weeks.

Her boss has just phoned me to ask after how mum is doing as they didn't want to disturb her. Bit weird but ok, but as phone call went on I felt I was being pressured to justify why she had been signed off for so long. I'm really annoyed.

I don't want to tell mum as she'll feel pressure and anxiety about work, I thought about emailing HR but don't want to get the boss in trouble and make things awkward for mum, or should I email the boss and just say I don't think it's appropriate for her to do that.

Or am I being over sensitive and making a mountain out of a mole hill? I don't know the boss, have met her once.

That boss is a massive cheeky fucker and is being very unprofessional

Actually I've changed my mind. The employer shouldn't have rung you and it was a DP breach.

It reminds me of the time my boss said to me "i'm going for my outpatients appointment on Wednesday and Sally is going to hers that day too" When Sally hadn't told anyone anything, and didn't want to.

Some people just have no boundaries.

So sorry for what you and your Mum are experiencing OP. Is there a chance she might be menopaual or pre menopausal? In which case it's a hormone imbalance that could be the cause of her depression now. Also, women who already suffer from depression can find it is worse once they reach menopause. In which case anti depressnts are useless but far too many GPs prescribe them because they know FA about menopause treatment. She would need to see a gynie who specialises in it.

Meanwhile I wouldn't distress your mother more by telling her of this convo just now or contacting HR. Good luck. You are a caring daughter.

Yes she is @sunshinesupermum

I think I'm going to do nothing on this occasion, assume I'm being over sensitive and choose to believe that although it wasn't appropriate, it wasn't ill intentioned. It caught me off guard as I didn't recognise the phone number when it rang! If she phones again I'll just politely explain that she shouldn't be asking me these questions.

Thanks for making me see various sides

No problem - you are doing the right thing, but please try and persuade your Mum to see GP and be referred to a Gynie. Unless there is breast cancer in your family she could be taking HRT and eventually feel much better (from someone who's been there and got a few teeshirts!)

They're not supposed to contact your mum and they know that - so her boss is using the fact that she had your private number to try and get round that.
YANBU to be annoyed - she shouldn't have done it.
I agree that it's inappropriate and that you should not have any further conversation with the boss over this - just shut her down if she calls again and say "this is not an appropriate call for you to have made".