To not understand why people feel

[Horridhenry88]

That you can't call yourself a sahp once dc are at school.
After all school is only 190 days per year and only six hours a day.
A school aged child could be as young as four and still requires lots of input from parents.
Assuming you have a couple where both work the childcare and home responsibility should be shared.
Yet with a sahp they generally do the lot and rightly so during the week
So aibu to think that a sahp of school age dc is still a sahp.

I dunno why you need to label but , hey, thats my 2 pence

Don't know why you need a label either

Or why you are bothered by what people say

I've been a SAHM for 20 odd years. I am one wether my children are babies or at school. At the moment they are all school age and I'm still a SAHM.

Because - sadly - some people are very envious of those in a position to stay home for their school-age children, and they like to make it obvious?

I now work part time and tbh irl I never labelled myself as a sahp.
It is something though that appears on mn regularly when a sahp posts and people say well you are not a sahp if your kids are at school. Well I tend to work random hours and study and it is hard to get it done in the holidays.

Personally I was a Sahp (mostly, though I always taught some adult education evening classes after DH got home - it's no longer standard to have a partner working such predictable hours I know) while I had at least one child home with me. Once dc3 was 3 he started preschool and I felt a fraud staying home without any children so looked for a suitable part time job. It took a while to find but I just did 15 hours til he was 5 then gradually increased my hours. Staying at home once the children are out of the house 6+ hours per day is being a housewife/ househusband mostly, whereas when they're preschool you are doing full time childcare.

My uni boyfriends mum called herself a Sahm - 2 kids away at Uni both several hundred miles away, No special needs. She was a housewife, which is fine, but why say Sahm? It devalues actual sahms who do childcare all day.

I'm still a mum that stays at home I guess.

I'm a mum, like why are we making it complicated?

How terrible that the SAHP might have 6 hours to themselves in a day! It's when I can go to shops, the gym/exercise classes, volunteer, do courses. I can afford not to have to find a part-time job so why not do things for myself?

penggwyn what an odd thing to say.
I think people use sahp as housewife is more dated. Although househusband would not have generally occurred years ago, so I guess by fact of infrequency would be more modern!

It devalues actual sahms who do childcare all day.

Heard it all now . Did she stop being a mum when her children went to university? How can it possibly devalue 'actual' (not clear what that means) other SAHM's.

It is others that say they can't call themselves a sahp.

I generally just say that dh is at home with the DC.

JustlikeDevon

Explain why "odd", please?

I genuinely believe that when I see people recasting someone who refers to themselves as a SAHP or SAHM as "unemployed" or whatever, it's envy talking.

I don't see why not, call yourself as you wish, but some people are weird about it.

When I was on extended leave for ill health, I had someone tell me my spouse shouldn't be called a stay-at-home parent because I was also at home . Even though he was still their main carer and also mine while I was recovering and, ya know, staying at home doing that, they thought it was better that he be referred to by a proper job (that he hadn't been in in 7 years at that point) whereas I - on leave but 'might not be able to go back' - shouldn't but instead call myself a SAHP or housewife instead.

Yes the six hours a day is great when I am not working to to housework, volunteer,study etc and well to have some free time as the post school period is full on with multiple kids activities, cook dinner ,wash up and put kids to bed.
Yet in the holidays a sahp of school age dc is still doing actual childcare all day unless dc are older.

It makes absolute sense to call a stay-at-home-parent a stay-at-home-parent, for that is exactly what they're doing.
That's what the phrase means.
So, when people try to say they're not Sahps, it must be a bizarre non-Subtle attempt to devalue it, so jealousy?
Best ignored tbh.

What do you think they should be called then Op?

sulflower in that case my mum is a Sahm - she's in her 70s, youngest child is 40, worked full time without our childhoods, but hey, she is a mum who stays at home, therefore she's a Sahm not a retired [profession] according to you.

Of course that devalues Sahm because it gives ammunition to those who hate sahms and claim that full time work outside the home parents do "everything a Sahm dies and actually work full time"

Which is delusional of course.

Sahms/ sahds do childcare all day, including the hours during which employee parents are not available for childcare.

If your youngest is primary age, especially infant, there is wrap around and holiday childcare so it's a grey area, but calling yourself a Sahm or sahd when your youngest is secondary age does make a mockery of the idea that sahms work hard all day and are not ladies of leisure or lazy, or set women back 50 years choosing to live off men and spend all day indulging themselves at the gym and drinking smoothies/ coffee in leisure wear - all things I've heard said about sahms which really rankled back when I spent all day looking after under 3s.

Sahms/ sahds SAH predominantly to do childcare.

Whatever they want to cal themselves.

*throughout

Whatever they want to cal themselves

What even SAHP parents?

I just happen to be a mum who stays home whilst my children are out getting educated. I do get lots of looks from some neighbours but I don't give a shiney shit

Well stay at home parent kind of implies your kids are at home with you. No judgemental/jealousy from me, I'd bloody love to stay at home but you aren't doing anywhere near as much as someone with pre school kids at home 24/7 and some people make out they are which I think irritates a lot of people.

@blueskiesandforest, thanks for the very detailed explanation of what a SAHM is but I'm perfectly educated in that department thank you, having been a SAHP for many a year.