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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a cat without a cat flap?

126 replies

Ansumpasty · 31/07/2018 20:14

Never had a cat before but considering adopting one as the children are desperate for a pet.

I would want the cat to be able to go outside and don’t like the idea of a little tray.
How do you go about this...are they let out, similar to go a dog, last thing at night to wee and first thing in the morning? I’m clueless!
Would it be selfish of us, and hard work, to consider getting one without a cat flap? Thanks!

OP posts:
shallen · 31/07/2018 21:51

We started our cat life without a cat flap, she was fine for a year or 2, then obv got fed up of not getting let in in time and was kidnapped tried to move in with an annoying old man down the road.
We then put a cat flap in and have a much happier cat, although we keep her shut in at night as she is a thug and starts fights with all the neighbours cats.

To be honest I'd recommend putting a flap in if you can, much easier and happier puss cat, especially if you are out and about a bit through the day.

AfterAdvice · 31/07/2018 21:51

You can have a cat flap put into the conservatory glass or else have one in your front door. If other cats coming in worried you, then you can get cat flaps that read a cat’s microchip and only open up for specific cats.

keyboardkate · 31/07/2018 21:52

I am genuinely interested as to why people have cats or dogs.

What do they add to your day after a hard day's work please? Genuine answers now!

shallen · 31/07/2018 21:55

Soz forgot to add, you mentioned adopting, if you are getting a rescue, you might find (don't quote me) they want to come and see your house and check for a cat flap.

DH used to have a rescue with his mates, the cat was totally agoraphobic and never set foot outside, but the rescue still insisted they had a cat flap, it was never used.

Raven88 · 31/07/2018 21:56

@keyboardkate they add company and I feel like a home is complete with a pet. A dog is a great walking companion. I grew up with dogs and they are so fun and they do have their own personalities. I now have a cat and just having her doing her own thing makes me happy.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 31/07/2018 21:56

If you don’t have a cat flap and you don’t want a litter tray, I’d say a cat wasn’t for you!
I’ve had cats all my life, usually had a flap but our new house really didn’t have anywhere suitable to put one.
There is mostly someone at home to let our old girl in and out as she pleases but we also have an emergency tray which she very rarely uses.

Randomuser789 · 31/07/2018 21:58

Just throwing it out there, rabbits are great Smile

Flamingo19 · 31/07/2018 21:59

My parents cats scratch at the windows when they want to go out/come in Grin You can normally work out a routine after a little while. One of my parents cats likes to stay out at night in the summer, the other needs to be rattled at with cat biscuits to indicate it’s time to come in. Since my dad has retired he’s complained he’s up and down all day letting them in and out though!

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 31/07/2018 21:59

Cat owners often ask themselves that age old question “where does my cat poo?”
Once your cat gets elderly, you will know.
Our ancient mog doesn’t like to wander too far now so uses the gravel driveway as her litter tray 🤨

IceCreamFace · 31/07/2018 22:01

I have a cat and no cat flap and it's a massive pain in the arse. We'll be putting a flap in soon. Cats like to spend loads of time outside and wander in and out at their own leisure - either you keep the door open or constantly let them in and out. Unless the cat has constant access to the outdoors you'll need a litter tray (no way would be cat hold it all night)!

NameChange30 · 31/07/2018 22:04

YABU not to provide a litter tray, especially if they will be shut in and reliant on you to let them out.

The ideal is a cat flap that’s open in the daylight hours and locked to keep them in at night, plus a litter tray.

If you really can’t/won’t have a cat flap you must provide a litter tray.

mistermagpie · 31/07/2018 22:13

I have two cats and I love cats generally but it gives me the rage when owners actively encourage their cats to shit in people's gardens by not providing a litter tray. Let's face it, you all know that's where they are doing it and yet if one of your neighbours had a dog which case and used your garden as a toilet you would be raging. Cats don't all bury their poo either, mine don't (in their trays) and neither do the ones who shit in my garden for my kids to walk through.

Being a responsible owner means being responsible for their behaviour as well as their care. Get a litter tray.

chalkyc2 · 31/07/2018 22:14

I'm clearly a terrible cat owner but I have neither a cat flap nor do I have a litter tray out (I do have one stashed away). My cat is pretty feral though and mostly hates us, and we back onto fields. The cat really dislikes my kids - literally absconds all day, comes home for food around 8pm. At 10pm he's crying to go out again - won't stay in over night - so goes out and comes home for a quick breakfast before the kids get up.

Low maintenance pet who we basically get to feed and cuddle for 2 hrs in the eve.

Maybe he lives somewhere else by day?

Popfan · 31/07/2018 22:16

No cat flap here - we were going to but our cat proved too good a mouser and I didn't want him bringing them in. We do have a litter tray which he uses very very occasionally. He tends to go out first thing and then comes back for breakfast. He then goes out when we do and is in and out in the evening. We give him more biscuits and a bit of meat last thing to make sure he comes in for the night. You just need to sort out a routine but I'd say a litter tray is needed for emergencies or when the weather is really bad (as mine then refuses to go outside!)

violeticecream · 31/07/2018 22:16

I guess they are all different. I don't have a cat flap or litter tray. We let cat in and out no problems. In the summer her tends to want to be out all night. In the winter he stays in all night. Never had an accident in four years. I just make sure he goes outside to toliet before we go to bed.

ReevaDiva · 31/07/2018 22:19

We don't have a cat flap. Our cat goes out first thing, comes home when it gets dark, and gets up when we do. No door slaves here!

He saves his appetite for when he comes in, and can easily eat three pouches of food in one evening then nothing until the next evening. Well, he does eat the occasional bird...

gamerchick · 31/07/2018 22:21

Do you visit the bathroom twice a day OP? Hmm

If you're not willing to get a litter tray then don't get a cat. You have unrealistic expectations.

Ifeelshit · 31/07/2018 22:21

Ours coped perfectly well without a cat flap for 7 years. But you absolutely must have a litter tray, to give them choice. We also worked full time and and let them out in the morning (if they wanted) and in again at night and had a little cat shelter in the garden for them. We then let them in and out several times during the evening and they could choose whether to stay in or out at night. We also left a window open in summer that they could climb in and out of (upstairs one, but they managed it!).

NapQueen · 31/07/2018 22:23

How long do cats live? We move soon and our cats are ten. We wont be taking on new cats when they "move to the farm" so not sure whether to install a flap.

Almostfifty · 31/07/2018 22:28

Why do people have to ask why people want cats? Just because they don't doesn't make the rest of us not want them.

Some of us have cats that either use their own gardens, or go into the fields next to the house to poo. I have cats because I love them, they're cuddly and when my DS were ill they were good company for them.

The problem with adoption agencies making stipulations makes me think of the time I went to pick up a cat from one. It was a house with around forty cats in cages and the smell was horrendous. I'm sure adopting a cat with just one litter tray would be much better for the cat than being stuck in a cage like that because you refuse to put two trays out.

Ollivander84 · 31/07/2018 22:30

I don't have a cat flap but he has a litter tray. He goes out in the morning while I get ready for work then comes in for the day. When I come home he's in and out the window until around 9/10pm then in for the night

pintsizedblondie · 31/07/2018 22:32

We didn't have a cat flap in our old house and we just let them in and out as they pleased which got pretty tedious. If they were in or out when we went to work that would be where they stayed for the day regardless of what the weather was like. We had a litter tray for emergencies but they generally held it til they went out. I have a cat flap now and it's like a revolution!

theunsure · 31/07/2018 22:37

3 cats, no cat flap. Ours are in overnight. You will need a litter tray, they go more frequently than a dog! And when you let them out they may go for hours! So flap or tray, you can’t have neither.
Plus a new cat will have to stay in for weeks and must have a tray.

JillyArmeeen · 31/07/2018 22:43

NapQueen. I've known a couple of cats live to be in their late teens and early twenties, think my grandads cat was 23 when she died, didn't go out much the last couple of years though.

Beamur · 31/07/2018 22:44

Why have cats? Or dogs? I love my pets, they are funny, beautiful and wonderful company. I get huge pleasure from seeing them behaving in a way that is happy and content. The mess etc is pretty inconsequential. They are part of our family.