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Original poster

About chubby legs

65 replies

Ribrabrob · 31/07/2018 16:29

I was sat next to my boyfriend and he looked down at my legs and said with a smile 'aw look at your chubby legs!'. Immediately I was upset and he was shocked that I was, he quickly explained that he didn't mean it horribly and that he likes my chubby legs. He said he meant it in admiring way.

I'm the first to admit that yes, I do have chubby legs but I'm trying to lose weight and do something about it. The thing is I'm 100% certain he didn't mean it to be offensive, as I say he was upset that I was upset and apologised that he had offended me.

Regardless of this, aibu to be upset he said it? Or am innit over dramatic (probably yes!)? I know I'm chubby but I don't really want to hear it, even when it's meant as a compliment. I think the the thing that makes it harder is that I'm very self conscious and he knows this.

OP posts:
schnubbins · 31/07/2018 20:48

Leftrightcentre you need humour to get through life at what ever stage.I have had people(both men and women) commenting on my leg since I was 22 years of age If I wear anything shortish , mostly women make no bones of just staring at it.I am now 53 years old and can barely walk Still laugh it off .You have not understood my point that all legs are perfect when they function and not all men whatever age are really being horrible when they make a comment.I come from a family of men.20 male cousins , two brothers, two sons and a husband.All say stupid things every now and again.Women do too but maybe not to your face.They are not all out to get you.

LeftRightCentre · 31/07/2018 20:55

Leftrightcentre you need humour to get through life at what ever stage.

I find a lot of stuff in life funny but oddly that doesn't extend to people I'm in a relationship with using neg terms about my body and body shaming. Anyone who speaks English as a native language knows that chubby is not a compliment. It's obvious even to my son who has autism, he's learned this. But I'm glad you find your nearest and dearest mocking you and negging you a real laugh Hmm.

Everyoneiswingingit · 31/07/2018 20:57

We women seem to store comments like this. My sister is tall and larger build than me but has very slim legs. I am more average in height, slightly pear shaped but a size 10. She always teased me that I had stumpy legs. I'm now late 40s and have only recently realised I don't have stumpy legs at all and they don't need to be hidden away. Words can hurt!

Everyoneiswingingit · 31/07/2018 21:01

On a positive note, I notice that a fuller build is now celebrated more, I think they call it 'thick' which sounds terrible but my teenage DD says it means fuller thighs and bum-I was young in the wrong era!!!! In my 20s I watched Friends and its only reattaching it now that I realised just how thin Monica and Rachel were. They turn sideways and they almost disappear but that is what I was aspiring to. Never thought I'd thank Kim K for anything but well done girl!

Everyoneiswingingit · 31/07/2018 21:02

rewatching!

schnubbins · 31/07/2018 21:13

leftrightcenre 'my nearest and dearest ' do not mock me and neg me.My husband has seen me through countless operations through our years together and now works his ass off to support the family alone because I now cannot work as a nurse.He has never as you call it 'body shamed me' .Talk about making a mountain out of a mole hill.I will leave it there.

Goth237 · 31/07/2018 21:19

He didn't mean it in a horrible way and he's apologised. You need to get over it. You love this man. I can't believe that there are some people commenting that he's an "abusive arsehole" or similar insults.

daisyinatree · 31/07/2018 22:48

@LeftRightCentre

Leftrightcentre you need humour to get through life at what ever stage.

I find a lot of stuff in life funny but oddly that doesn't extend to people I'm in a relationship with using neg terms about my body and body shaming. Anyone who speaks English as a native language knows that chubby is not a compliment. It's obvious even to my son who has autism, he's learned this. But I'm glad you find your nearest and dearest mocking you and negging you a real laugh hmm.

Agree with this. Because you are fucked off with being insulted and mocked, that doesn't mean you have no sense of humour, and it's unfair for people to minimise how you feel, or say 'get a grip' and similar comments.

@Goth237

He didn't mean it in a horrible way and he's apologised. You need to get over it. You love this man. I can't believe that there are some people commenting that he's an "abusive arsehole" or similar insults.

On the other hand I do agree with Goth ^ If a man (clumsily) says something that he thinks is whimsical and funny, but it IS rude and offensive to you, and upsets you, then to dump him purely for that is crazy! But if he carries on, and keeps taking potshots at you, even when you have explained it upsets you, then he is NOT a keeper, and is a bit of a dick!

BackforGood · 31/07/2018 23:30

As so often on MN, there are some ridiculous over reactions on this thread.

mrsmuddlepies · 01/08/2018 05:59

Famously, Cliff Richard as a young pop star, lost oodles of weight because Minnie Caldwell on Coronation Street, described him as chubby. She meant it in an admiring, affectionate way but being a young man at the time, he took it to heart and lost lots of weight.

Gottokondo · 01/08/2018 06:04

I've never said it but I think that my husbands belly is cute and I like to rub it. Some people like chubby... or red hair... or freckles. Doesn't mean it's bad

RedRedBluee · 01/08/2018 07:15

Sounds to me like he genuinely didn’t mean it in a horrible way.
I have truly chubby thighs, actually chubby is an understatement, individually they’re a couple of inches off the size of my waist.
Lots of men love bigger legs and don’t see it as a negative thing at all. So many people have said to me wow you have sexy legs.
I say don’t give it another thought unless he makes other comments on your size or starts telling you to eat less.

Shortstuff08 · 01/08/2018 07:28

My Dp loves my chunky legs and bum. Because I know he loves them, if he calls them chubby, I know he loves them and his meaning of the word isn't meant to be derogatory.

I don't care about what a word usually means or if most people think it's offensive. if you are confident in how you partners feels about you and that they find you attractive, then the actual words don't matter so much.

Besides which, we all sometimes say stuff and then think 'why did I use that word for......please please let me rewind back'

No one is perfect. Not even on mn Grin

SpecialBond · 01/08/2018 07:33

I don't know why people get so offended about things they know are true that were meant with no offence whatsoever.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/08/2018 07:33

Chubby isn't usually meant in a complimentary way. The only time it's acceptable is when describing a young baby's chubby cheeks imo.

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