To tell them to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

I have posted before about my partners parents and things have just got worse I had his mum round here telling me that her husband has decided that i’m no good for his son anymore because I blew up on them months ago over what they where doing and today I got called a dumb bitch and a lazy do nothing girlfriend he thinks that my partner is working 6 days to keep me he’s working 6 days because people are on holiday at the minute. I have my own money I do everything for my partner i’ve booked our holiday I do all the cooking, cleaning, wash the clothes, I do all the shopping, I run round looking after my partner but I’m the lazy one. Just feel like telling them all to fuck off out of our lives because I’m sick of them now and I can do without all the bullshit. AIBU to just wish they would fuck off they are interfering, over bearing, no one will ever be good enough for their son and the only reason why they don’t like me is because I stood up to them and while their son is with me he doesn’t see very much of them and they can’t get money off him like they use to.

I wouldn't be opening my door to them again.

Does your partner have your back or merely stand by while they have a go at you?

Can you go NC?

Where do you get your own money from? Are you independently wealthy? Do you work?

@PickAChew he tried to stand up for me and got told to shut the fuck up. I will never be letting them back in this house again I felt like throwing them down the stairs.

@Bluetears after today that’s exactly what I plan to do because I can deal without any of this.

@Happygoldfinch I get some benefits including disability money but their son doesn’t keep me any money I get gets used for the both of us I buy the food I pay bills I don’t sit here and do nothing. They didn’t know me when I worked they’ve only known me for the last year while I’ve been off due to anxiety and depression which is made worse by them 2.

Although the in-laws do sound fair game for hate

@happygoldfinch I use to work in a care home doing 12 hour night shifts until I got ill. I make candles and wax melts that I sell online I have just started a dog grooming course and in all honesty his parents have no right to say jack shit about me when his dad isn’t working either and they say that they can’t afford to pay their mortgage but they have just got a brand new car. They sit there and bad mouth anyone they don’t like including my partners grandma but then they accept a gardener and new blinds off her even though she’s the worlds worst. They take money off their son because they make out like they are poor. They use to come in to my home and try and tell me what they thought I could keep and what I should throw away they only started not liking me because I stood up to them and told them to do one. I’m not off work ill for the hell of it and i’m certainly not lazy everything I get is spent on the house I saved up for months so that we can have a holiday.

@Happygoldfinch

Did you miss the part where OP says she gets disability benefits? It's really not easy to get disability benefit (DLA or PIP) so it's probable that OP can't work.

And if she did work, it's probable that she will still be expected to do all the housework on top as well.

OP hasn't spiked hate on to anyone. Your post is very condescending and so is your smiley emoji.

It doesn’t matter if some people with depression work, others don’t. Not everyone has the choice becuase not everyone is well enough to make that choice.

The point is that this is between the couple and his parents are being nasty to both of them. It’s not their business.

Thank you @ShumpaLumpa I would love to work if I could and I hope one day I can get back to work.

Thank you @Notevilstepmother I just wish they would leave us both alone and let us be happy but they don’t want that. They did all this to his ex as well think they would prefer it if he was with no one.

any money I get gets used for the both of us I buy the food I pay bills

What does he pay for? he is working so surely it should be partly him paying too.

They sound like children. I can't believe they take money of your DP whilst making catastrophic financial decisions themselves like buying (HP-ing?) a new car. Good for you with the dog grooming course - it would be absolutely brilliant if you could make a go of it and start your own business. Therapeutic, too, working with animals. Is there a chance that the parents are looking to hit out because they see themselves as inadequate?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3199959-AIBU-to-really-hate-my-boyfriends-interfering-parents

This was my last thread about them I haven’t had it easy at all with them. They will do anything they can think of to get rid of me.

Happygoldfinch - are you always such an ableist jerk?

Perhaps some people do work full time and take meds for depression.

Some people also can't. I can assure you that I didn't give up my teaching career for best part of the two years I suffered with severe anxiety and PTSD because I wanted to. It really isn't that simple.

@ShumpaLumpa OP was explaining to me that she was on disability - she didn't mention it in her original post. And if you mistake "friendly" for "condescending", I bet you're fun to be around. I'm being friendly and I'm trying to work out what on earth the parents are thinking.

@LilQueenie he pays his share as well but because I get some money every week I do the food shop every week while he’s in work.

Thank you @happygoldfinch they are very jealous children who don’t want to see their son happy it wouldn’t matter who he was with because they would just find a fault. I have no idea why they got a car when they are struggling to pay their mortgage. Thank you I hope that I can start up on my own at the end of it that’s my plan anyway or I might go and work in an already established groomers and save up the money to start up on my own. I don’t know what it is with them everything I do just gets me branded as being exactly like his dads first wife. We’ve been told that we can’t get married or have children because they don’t want us to. They didn’t want use living together but we do which I think is what started all this because we chose to do what we wanted to do.

If you read the other thread you will see that his parents are controlling abusive and steal her stuff. What they are thinking isn’t relevant.

OP did you ever go back to your mum? Did you get your stuff back?

Thank you @ProffesorMoody it’s a hard condition to live with but I am making slow steps to rebuilding my life.

You know that these choices are your and your boyfriends to make not theirs? They are very controlling.

@ProfessorMoody - I know, I can come across as an ableist jerk and, if you saw me, you would find that ironic.
@Notevilstepmother - it does matter what they think. Understanding the root of their behaviour will help OP. Some behaviour types, like narcissists, are almost impossible to deal with, for example - often the only option is for the victim to withdraw from the narcissist - impossible for children of narcissistic parents, of course, which is terribly sad.
Understanding their behaviour would be interesting - I think you might think that by that I mean "approving" their behaviour, which I don't. They sound like childish brats.

@Notevilstepmother yes I did move back in with my parents for a few months and then my partner asked me to move in with him which is what started all this off because it went against their wishes and I did get my stuff back in the end.

How realistic would it be to move away? Like, a 2 hour journey away?

I know @Notevilstepmother but they seem to think that they can make all the choices for us which drives me potty. They don’t like me because they can’t control me like they do with their son but he’s suddenly found his voice and is standing up for me but they don’t like that either.