Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fuming with DP

46 replies

Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 00:28

So DP has just called me a moody cunt because I was annoyed he wouldn't apologise properly after accidently hurting me. What's better is that I MADE home call me a moody cunt because I've been moody all day.

Well guess what sunshine? I've been moody because your father hasn't even bothered to send DD a birthday card, called or come to see it. Anything would of been nice. Have you asked him why? Nooo. Because the sun shines out of daddy's arse!

You won't confront your father even though you're 'fuming' with him but it's okay to call your fiancee a moody cunt because your hurt her?!?

Surely IANBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 00:28

Him not home!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 00:43

Sorry for all the typos! Angry typing!

OP posts:
spottybetty · 31/07/2018 00:46

Well, it’s not your h’s problem or fault if his dad doesn’t send your dc a card...

But how did he hurt you? That’s more important.

NapQueen · 31/07/2018 00:47

You are in a mood that his dad didnt send a birthday card to dd? Is dd bothered? Is it dps fault?

However...he hurt you?

Original poster
Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 00:48

I know it's not DP's fault that his dad hasn't made an effort but he claims to be fuming yet not said anything to him. I on the other hand get moody because he's annoyed me and he's quick enough to get cross at me and call me a cunt.

He didn't hurt me deliberately. He caught my mouth/ulcer with his finger messing about.

OP posts:
spottybetty · 31/07/2018 01:07

He was poking around in your mouth and hurt you?!

Original poster
Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 01:09

No he went to put his hand over my mouth because I making a joke and he caught my ulcer. Nothing sinister.

OP posts:
spottybetty · 31/07/2018 01:10

No. Nobody gets to put your hand over their mouth! I’d be furious if anyone did this to me. Don’t minimise it, op.

PremierNaps · 31/07/2018 01:17

Oh Jesus Christ queue the LTB and call women's aid because your DP accidentally caught your mouth. Hmm

Does your DD even realise she hasn't received a card? I think taking it out on your DP is the wrong way to go about it. Next time you see his father perhaps mention a sarcastic "Thank you for DD card"

esk1mo · 31/07/2018 01:22

you really ought to pick your battles. this whole scenario is immature and completely blown out of proportion, how do you cope with real problems?

Anxious2niteaaah · 31/07/2018 01:28

Im afraid I'd side with dh, you do sound moody

Why is it dh fault that fil hasn't sent a card...if it bothers you that much, contact him yourself and ask about it...

I think you should apologise to dh for being moody all day,

And if it's DD birthday today you should apologise to her for her having her birthday soured by your obsession with fil not sending a card

Original poster
Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 01:36

A) I've been moody but haven't don't anything horrible and don't deserve to be called a cunt.

B) It's not my place to contact FIL. DP would be pissed off if I did. I haven't blamed DP for his FIL's behaviour (There's other issues).

C) It was DDs birthday last week, she's too young to understand properly. It's a hugely shitty thing for a grandparent to not bother with their grandchild they claim to adore.

OP posts:
Nino86 · 31/07/2018 01:48

I don’t like the C-bomb but I don’t really see why you were being moody towards him all day. Nor would I expect a grovelling apology from my partner if they accidentally hurt me slightly (assuming it’s not a regular occurrence). It sounds like you’ve been trying to make him feel shit and he reacted with an insult.

Original poster
Ohmydays18 · 31/07/2018 01:53

No I wasn't at all. I've been stressed today because of wedding things. I haven't taken it out on DP but I've been flapping and cross with certain people messing us about.

I didn't expect a grovelling apology at all. I said ow that hurt. He didn't believe me so I had to show him the ulcer. I asked can you say sorry now please? He then walked away saying sorry in a stupid kids voice? I told him to stop being childish and don't bother if you're not going to say it properly. Then I was called a moody cunt.

OP posts:
MirriVan · 31/07/2018 03:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FASH84 · 31/07/2018 07:30

You sound pretty immature, and you talk to your DP like he's a child, it also seems like you are stressed about the wedding planning and angry at his father (which is not your DPs fault) and you are taking it all out on him, which is why he swore at you, the language isn't acceptable but sounds like he's at the end of his rope

Shoxfordian · 31/07/2018 07:32

His language isn't acceptable but you seem like you're having a bad day as well op. Are you both quite young?

adaline · 31/07/2018 07:39

Why were you angry with him? It's not his fault his dad forgot - someone forgetting your child's birthday isn't a reason to get into a strop!

He shouldn't have called you a moody cunt but equally you shouldn't have taken your disappointment out on him. People forget birthdays - it's not the end of the world and it's definitely not worth getting in a strop over!

tootstastic · 31/07/2018 08:01

I would never advocate name-calling in any relationship. However, I used to live with a very moody XP who would also brood/sulk all day about relatively minor stuff like you've described and I can assure you it was soul destroying.

Neither of you come across as emotionally mature enough to marry. I would suggest individual or couples counselling before you even consider making a life together or having children (if you haven't already).

Please listen to advice and understand that life just too short too punish each other for such petty things, it really is.

tootstastic · 31/07/2018 08:02

*to

longwayoff · 31/07/2018 08:05

Grow up. Both of you.

SilverHairedCat · 31/07/2018 08:08

Hang on, people are actively someone for calling their partner a cunt in anger? A CUNT?? REALLY?? No, that's not OK.

No, it's not LTB territory to me, but it's certainly not OK.

I'd be livid at being spoken to like that, ever. My DH has done it twice and by god he apologised. I will not accept that from anyone least of all someone, the main someone, who is supposed to love and respect me.

Ethylred · 31/07/2018 08:10

Don't make excuses for being moody. Childish behaviour in an adult is unattractive.

humblesims · 31/07/2018 08:11

Does his DF know its your DCs birthday? If he's anything like my FIL then he needs reminding even of his own childrens birthdays let alone grnad kids. Given up on that one a long time ago.
Its not your DHs fault though is it.
Shouldnt call you a cunt though.

ShatnersWig · 31/07/2018 08:15

Maybe your DP's itchy legs are annoying him as well, OP and you being a moody cow just added to the mix. I do think you need to grow up though.

Oh, and while obviously some people object to the c-word, there are plenty of posters on other threads who have no issue using that word to their partner and think of it no worse than cow, prick, wanker. I'm not one of them, but it's nonsense to suggest LTB just because of using that word on its own.

Swipe left for the next trending thread