I have NC and changed a few details here to avoid being outed
I am engaged andwe started 'going out' around 10 years ago. We were in our teens, and had a rough patch about 5 years ago resulting in a 6 month break up.
During this time, I went on a couple of holidays, and had I guess what you could call a holiday romance with a local on one of them. My sister was with me on these holidays and knew him too. She made fun of me at the time (she didn't think the guy was good looking, and would try and embarrass my taste by even making a few racist comments about him to put my choices down), but we all went on trips together, and they were friends on social media.
I only spent about 2 weeks with this holiday lover, but the young and naive me thought I cared about him. I never thought I was stupid before this, but soon after I got home he told me he was broke, had no money for food, and may have to go back and live with his family in his home village and marry his cousin. After a few days of this, I agreed to send him some money as I believed and felt bad for him. It wasn't a huge amount, but still. He said he would pay it back.
But then a few days later, I realised it was all a lie, and he was staying with another girl, who'd arrived only a couple of days after I'd left. This felt like a huge insult, and I was so angry I'd been duped into giving him money. I asked for the money back, he kept saying he had no money, and so I said he could give it to my friend who was visiting the resort in a few of months.
My friend went and I sent a message to the guy asking back the money, but again he said he couldn't. I realised I was never going to get it, and let it go, while deleting him on everything and getting my sister to do the same.
The whole situation is probably the biggest mistake I've ever made - I felt cheap to do such a thing, and stupid for giving him money. I ended up getting back together with my previous partner, who knows the basics of what happened but not the details (he doesn't want to know).
After a while, I felt at peace and tried to let go, telling myself we all learn from things like this. He's in another country so I can pretend he doesn't even exist.
At least that was the case, until my sister tells me she's reconnected with him on social media. I hit the roof, and asked her not to engage with him as it makes me very uncomfortable, and she has no need to talk to him. She tells me I shouldn't bear grudges and asked me why I even care.
I should also add, in the years since she has told people this story to embarrass me, and made 'jokes' about how she will do a speech about it on my wedding day. I know she's joking, but just the thought of her making jokes about this with other people is horrible.
Bottom line is, I'm fuming, upset and uncomfortable with her talking to him. I told my partner and he doesn't want to talk about it, but I know her reconnecting with this guy could potentially cause problems in my relationship. I feel as my sister she should have more loyalty than to speak to a creep she knew for a couple of weeks 5 years ago. I'm seriously considering cutting contact with her completely.
I hope this was coherent and makes sense. I would appreciate any thoughts, as this isn't something I feel uncomfortable talking about with people IRL.