to think this is Domestic Abuse?

[poopsqueak]

Brother ended up in hospital. Had a massive argument with his wife (they were drunk).

She hit him and he fell over and broke his arm.

Everyones saying 'how sad' (my mum and her mum) it is, but my AIBU is to think that if this was the other way around it would not be 'how sad' but 'how terrible and disgusting' it would be.

I have tried texting him and calling but he hasn't picked up. I cant get to him today as I am off work but I am so worried about him.

Not to drip feed - they have ridiculous rows and its all alcohol related. They have broke up a few times following massive rows and are now married.

I'm shocked by some of the responses here. Reverse the sexes and the thread would be different. Why assume because he's a man he can't be a victim of DV?

OP I hope your DB has the strength to leave.

I'm not sure he is going to leave.he sounds less sure now. He's a quiet guy and I think sometimes he just doesn't have courage to go it alone.

It's happened before (throwing things at him, breaking household objects) and he's been very angry and determined to leave then a few days later he says he loves her and wants to make it work. Very frustrating.

. She's kicked off at him for telling everyone (which I think is wrong- and he's called her out for being controlling by trying to not allow him to tell his parents) then cried and said she needs to go to the doctors to go back on anti depressants. Which might be true but I suspect it's a sympathy ploy. The bullying ploy didn't work earlier (see her screaming at him for telling his family)

I've passed on some links to mankind and other stuff. He's stopped replying to my texts for now.

Poop squeak. Please do all you can to remain close to your brother, whatever friends and family he has, tell them to remain close to him,
He needs a strong support system in place, because domestic abuse is more than physical, it’ll be accompanied by emotional manipulations. She will be fuming at him for blowing her cover, she won’t want people to know what she’s really doing, and the more people who are around him, the harder it’ll be for her to control him.

Also, please make him see that if she is depressed as it appears she’s claiming, it is still no excuse. None whatsoever to do that to someone you portray to love. If she felt it was something she wasn’t in control of she would’ve been begging for help to stop it happenning again. There would be remorse instead of her screaming at her husband that people know she has broken his arm.

Don’t judge, it may take him a while to leave her. Let him know you’re there no matter what.

Spoke to him out of surgery today. He's ok and was smiling but then said he had to go as she was calling him to pick him up. So don't really know what to think .

I find it disgusting that you would suggest he had to have done something to make her hit him. Like I said in my OP people have such strange different reactions when it is the woman who is doing to abusing.

You hadn't even spoken to him, OP, when you posted your OP. She could have pushed him in self-defence. As others have said, men are the aggressors the majority of time sô naturally posters asked questions.

That doesn't mean female domestic violence is any less abhorrent than male domestic violence.