AIBU to send DC to nursery in pull ups

[MrsRainbowJohnson]

My DS (3) is starting school in September and im wondering whether to send him in pull ups.

We've started potty training him but in my opinion hes not ready. We started because of pressure from MIL and school. We tried a normal potty, the seat that goes on top of toilet seat, a bigger potty and he screamed his head off with all of them. Finally found a toddler size toilet that is a potty and he happily uses this. However this is if he isn't wearing anything from waist below. If i put anything on him, he will 100% do it in whatever hes wearing. He seems to forget hes not wearing a nappy.

I understand teachers have many children to look after so need them potty trained but if i put him in his pants he will need changing and i hate the thought of him being wet.

If we go out ive been advised by HV to leave him in pull ups or a nappy and to concentrate on using potty at home first. I think this confuses him but tbh when ive tried taking him to the toilet when we are out, he screams his head off and gets very distressed.

Sorry for long post but would love some advice pls

Thank you all for your replies and advice x

I recieved the dry like me pads today so am looking forward to taking him out on short journeys at first 😊

I will look into the potty watch. If he wears it he may feel excited abt using the potty as he has been very reluctant today and yesterday and it was just accident after accident pretty much all day.

I think going full whack is best for him, im dreading it though esp as i will have younger son too 😒

Thank you all so much for your positive messages, youve all really listed my spirit 💐

I don't think they are allowed to insist on dc being toilet trained. None of mine were dry at this stage and they all went to nursery/preschool in pullups or nappies. Ds4 was in pull how for the first 2 terms of reception and my others toilet trained between 3y 9m and 4y 2 m

Do your children have additional needs, ellie? I think it’s a bit off to send a NT four year old to school in a nappy because you think he “isn’t ready for toilet training”.
Outrageous, actually.

Ds4 (the one who was toilet trained at nearly 5) has learning difficulties, yes. Other dc have sn too but not sure if that's why they were on the later side to toilet train. My dc who is autistic trained earlier than my dc who is deaf which surprised me.

Well that’s understandable, ellie, and your situation is exactly why they changed the rules.
But I still think allowing a nt child to dictate when they’ll submit to toilet training past school age is lazy parenting, and totally unfair on the teachers.