to find many aspects of religion incomfortable?

[MyHeadIsAMinefield]

I'm not religious. I am an atheist, however am not militant about it and respect the views of others. I wish I was religious myself at times and have found myself envious of those who do believe in a god.

I do however find many things about religion quite uncomfortable, and I'm not entirely sure why. I'm currently sat opposite a man on the train who has repeatedly said Allahu Akbar to himself whilst looking me in the eye. This has made me uncomfortable.

When entering in to conversation with someone who had strong religious views recently, I explained that I was not religious, and did not believe in a god. I didn't say why, I didn't try to disprove what they believed in, I just expressed my view. This person has not spoken to me since. I'm fine with this, however if I chose not to speak to them simply because they were religious I would likely be accused of discrimination or bullying. Again, very uncomfortable.

It makes me uncomfortable when I ask friends for advice or am simply engaged in conversation and the one friend I have who is very religious tells me it is part of God's plan or to just trust in god. This makes me uncomfortable, and I don't feel comfortable discussing my views, as being an atheist is so frowned upon by so many.

I guess religion just makes me feel exceptionally uncomfortable at times and I'm not entirely sure why. I don't believe in god, but it would be nice to live in a world where the idea god doesn't make you feel... weird. Where discussion was open and it wasn't an awful thing to be an atheist.

Does any of this make any kind of sense? Or do I just sound completely nuts?

Im a rampant atheist. Or rather if there is a god i dont consider him worthy of worship. Atheist is easier than "dont care less ist"

Ive known some fantastic Christians. The thing is their religion is a central part of who they are. Ive always found their Christianity and the way it informs there lives fascinating, if its come up in conversation is been natural. And i have learnt from their faith even if i dont agree with it. I wouldnt see someone praying for me as a problem, its just an expression of care phrased in religious terms.

I have no idea whether my friends actively know im atheist because it doesnt inform my life. By morals arent formed by my lack of faith nor my life choices. So really why is it any of their business what my belief system is and why.

I believe in tolerance, so i have no desire to evangelise my atheism either.

So religion has no impact on my friendships even though we have some very different views.

Now heres the thing.

If you see the good in people you can learn to value people regardless of religion.

And if your examples above are the biggest problems you have with religion, i would argue you really dont know much about it and you dislike is mostly bigotry.

I have found that there are certain religious people who get far more freaked out/puzzled/annoyed by atheists than they do about someone having a different religion.

If I happen to mention that I’m an atheist I’m often met by remarks such as ‘well WHAT do you believe in then?’ Or ‘how can you not believe in anything?’ Or ‘how can you live without any belief?’ Or some such

I always find it a bit odd that the default position seems to be that you should believe in ‘something’ and not to believe in anything is considered strange. I would argue it sh be the other way around

Anyway, what I usually say is ‘I believe in science’.

@Yokatsu I'm interested as to how you came to the conclusion of bigoted? Genuinely, I simply found myself in a handful of uncomfortable situations over the past few months (being told I don't need a solution to my problems as god has a way, being ignored for stating that I'm not religious when asked a question regarding religion etc, being uncomfortable with someone stating a religious phrase and looking at me intently whilst saying it) - is it not normal to maybe be a little uncomfortable with these things?

I'm not bigoted in the slightest, so curious to know why these things make you believe I am.

@Yokatsu they are also by no means the biggest issues I have with religion. I'm talking on a personal, day to day basis here. If I were to discuss the bigger issues of religion that would be an entirely different thread.

@BananaToffo also:

If you are agnostic, aren't you simply of the belief that you cannot know whether God exists or not, so you are more 'sceptical' than disbelieving.

If you are an atheist, you simply don't believe that a God exists. I believe I am the latter as I believe in science, and do not believe in such a thing as God.

Have I had it wrong this whole time?

RiceBurner I find your post particularly patronising and sneery. What is wrong with simply accepting that some people have a faith. Do you always have to be so nasty about it?
Live and let live.

If I were to tell you about my imaginary friend in the sky who dictates my life I’d rightly be considered nuts, yet it’s perfectly accepted when people believe this en masse, and everyone else is expected to tiptoe around and respect the delusion

Tbh this annoys me cos its mostly ignorance.

If you were to say i had an imaginary friend in the sky, you would be aknowledging its lack of reality so having it rule your life would be delusional. Additionally we know whats in the sky now so we know that's not possible. The idea of God being in the sky is a hangover from when we didnt know what was up there.

Now most Christians i know believe in God as a creative force that is behind the everything. Theres no scientific evidence that this isn't true. You cant disprove it because it exists outside of what we currently know. There was the big bang, but what made the big bang happen. Its not inherently nuts.
(But maybe as we know more the room for god with shrink, maybe not.)

But most Christians gain much strength from their faith, i wouldnt kick a crutch out out if someone who needed it why would i kick religion away from someone who gained benefit from it.

Thats not to say theyre arent bits that i would get rid of in religion, but peoples faith in it isnt and shouldnt be an inherent problem

OP, I agree with other PP, the problem is not religious people, but the rude and/or nutters you have come across.
I'm an atheist as well and generally don't have any issues with religious people, as long as they are respectful as I am to them. I don't think religion plays a part in this tbh, it's more a question of being civilised in general. And yes you got the agnostic / atheist thing right .
Agnostics believe God can be proved the same way natural events can, so they remain open to its existence (upon prove). Atheists believe proving the existence of God is impossible, as God does not exist and also prove relates to the natural world - God being part of a different dimension.

@Babdoc I find extraordinary that you say there's nothing to talk about with atheists re their vision of the origin of the world. I'm doing a PHD in philosophy of science and I have quite a lot to write and talk about.

I find all religions akin to cults to be honest that rely on brain washing.

I prefer to think for myself.

OP, I have been pondering this this morning (whilst undertaking the exciting task of deep cleaning my kitchen! Wow, the fun never ends...erm) and I wonder if people (in RL)have been more judgemental about you personally because of your background (you said you're from the Caribbean community)?
I am a white mc english woman, not many people dismiss what I say out of hand. Perhaps they think you should be a certain way, have certain beliefs, because of your heritage?
Thinking about the people I know of Black-Caribbean and Black-African heritage, they are almost all deeply religious (Christian or Muslim, and a couple of Rastafarians).

People find it difficult when they encounter others that reject their beliefs, because it makes them question their choices, and no-one likes that, now do we?

I pity those who believe in a god of any sort and assume they're somewhat lacking as a person.

Religion poisons everything. It's constructed to ensure conformity through fear.

Maybe they pity you littleFear
Stop being so superior and patronising

No, I don't have any religious beliefs, but I don't sneer at people who do. You post says more about you than the people you "pity"

For example People stare into space. Sometimes that can look like your starring at someone. Doesn't mean you are. I once did it to a ypung kid in the supermarket, i had no idea he was there. And Its more likely to happen when someones praying as they arent very aware of our surroundings, there focussing on their own
Internal thoughts . But we come to Islam with a whole narrative history that really isnt positive. The guy on a train isnt doing anything inherently bad or threatening, our interpretation tells us it is. Its bigotry and a lack of understanding

Where is it frowned upon to be an atheist?
I teach religious studies and the majority of kids are at least agnostic if not full atheist. Neither them or believers are backwards in coming forwards with their perspective!

It's frowned upon to be religious on MN.

It’s frowned upon to be atheist in many religious communities.

I think once their becomes an established orthodoxy having the opposing opinion is always frowned upon. A bit like walking into FWR and saying Trangenderism is okay or the dog house and saying a dog who hes bitten someone should automatically be put down. Thats not limited to religion.

I genuinely don’t know anyone in RL who is overtly religious. One vague friend who tried to preach to me about my “sins” but I just laughed at her and told her to keep her hypocrisy to herself.

Where are you meeting all these religious types op?

I guess I have a funny relationship with religion and struggle with the idea of it a little.

I used to be a Christians. I definitely felt a bit uncomfortable about my atheism in the early days after my deconversion. But as time has gone on I'm not ashamed or embarrassed and don't see it as a something I'd need to hide although I don't bring it up in RL unless others ask me about my beliefs.

Do you have anyone who has made you feel your unbelief is 'bad'?

Yes, religion is odd. But no more so than people liking Fleetwood Mac etc 😂

And even less odd than people hating Fleetwood Mac

Many religious people are just regular people that also happen to have a belief. They’re not crazy like the people in your post, they have no interest in pushing their religion on anyone else.

My DF and his family are Jewish and my DM’s family are CofE, DM’s step mum is a vicar. None of them have ever tried to force religion on me and I can confirm they are all regular people with fucked up lives like the rest of us .

I do however find many things about religion quite uncomfortable, and. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm currently sat opposite a man on the train who has repeatedly said Allahu Akbar to himself whilst looking me in the eye. This has made me uncomfortable.

We fear what we don't understand. You can either continue to be uncomfortable with Muslims or you can learn about Islam, visit a Mosque open day, get chatting to the next hijabi woman you meet.

Also, if someone's looking me in the eye, I look right back at them.

Maybe he was uncomfortable with you looking at him? It's not easy being visibly Muslim.

OP you’ll be much happier if you just avoid the topic of religion all together, if someone says god has a plan or they’ll pray for you then just reply with mmm-hmm or righty-o then and change the subject, someone brings up the topic of religion just say I don’t want get into a discussion about religion and move on. Remember that they’re not going to be able to change your views and you’re not going to change theirs so don’t worry about it.

And if a man on the train is staring you in the eye and muttering anything under his breath then just get up and move if it makes you feel uncomfortable.