Smoking vs Drinking -and the law

[beachmamma]

I have a re-occurring argument every few months with my husband who thinks the odd joint is acceptable. In our twenties -before we had children we used to smoke a bit once in a while at beach parties and festivals but I said once we settle down it needs to stop -which it did for me, not him even tho he agreed. I've not smoked since before we got married 7 years ago. Where we live is super chilled so plenty of people use it recreationally. I don't have a problem with it and actually think it's far less harmful and dangerous than alcohol -but we have 3 small children and I just don't want him having anything to do with it. These odd occasions are when he's seen this old surf dude we know that's given him a bit and it's been smoked very late at night when kids in bed and he's taken a walk . He says I'm a hypocrite as I used to smoke it, I say things change when you have children and responsibilities. He's a great Dad who works really hard and doesn't go out drinking very often just special occasions , I have friends who's partners are out on the razz every weekend -I would hate that! So do I need to cut him some slack and let him chill with this vice-or stick to my guns ? I find it hard to argue with him about it as I'd take a stoned person over a drunk any day -but it's the principle ! And the law
Life's not an endless summer 🏄‍♂️

Let him smoke his occasional joint in peace ffs

If he was caning it and constantly blazed, you'd have a point, but the odd joint is neither here nor there. Chill.

I don't know if I could get too worked up about it since its only the occasional smoke and not around the kids. If he was doing it all the time in the house and was too stoned to look after the kids then you'd have a point. I think I'd chill and leave him to it if I was you.

I know 😕 I don't know why I have such a problem with it when I'm pro-weed - even tho I've no desire to ever smoke it!

It seems like an odd principle to be honest. If you think that smoking weed is less harmful than alcohol, why do you have such an issue with him occasionally doing it? It's rare, it's not in front of your kids, and it's not stopping him being a good dad. And while it's technically illegal the police aren't going to bother their time with a bloke having the occasional joint to himself.

I think you need to leave him be on this one.

If it’s done in the own home, so there’s no passive smoking implications I don’t see the problem. How the wine & gin o’clock brigade are socially accepted & casual users are frowned upon, staggers me

That came out wrong -what I mean is I think it's a massively under appreciated natural / medicinal / and recreational plant that has a bad reputation. We get a lot of stag do's over in the town and the copious amount of alcohol makes some people such loud aggressive wankers l. We knew an MS sufferer who's quality of life was massively improved by smoking pot.

Give him a break! You say he’s a really good dad, what’s the problem? I’m saying this as someone who is pretty disgusted by drugs having nearly lost my son to them. He’s a grown man who works hard, is kind and treats his family with respect. Let him live his life as he sees fit. It’s not having any detrimental effect on you other than not giving you the control over him that you clearly on some level want.

Personally, I think if it's illegal, it's illegal, and it's a bit rich you lecturing him when you used to do it yourself.

Thanks for your replies and yeah I need to cut him some slack. I think it's the legality that bothers me the most

It's not about wanting control - we are both free spirits that respect each other's feelings , which is what I need to do here.

Meh, leave him be.
He’s not doing it around the kids

I hardly call the odd joint a vice. I just can’t see how it’s different to having the odd beer. It doesn’t have any negative impact at that level. If it were every day or he were going to the pub every Friday I’d tell you to read the riot act but this is fine.

Are either of you in jobs where the legality might conceivably be a problem?

It wouldn't bother me. Obviously one of you needs to be straight when your kids are around but you've got that covered.

Honestly you can forget the legality aspect, unless he’s selling it. We live near Glastonbury and people smoke openly on the high street regardless of police presence. They don’t have the resources or desire to give a slap on the wrist to otherwise responsible members of the public that have the occasional joint. He’s hardly going to get done having a joint late at night in his garden.

I couldn't get fussed about this in this particular situation.

The only problem I'd have is that he's going to stink afterwards.

No drug testing at either of our jobs so that's not an issue Minge.

I thought I might be being unreasonable - and general vibe from you all is that I am so will take it on board -thanks for your replies 🤙

Meh leave him to get stoned.

Ah I'd probably leave him to it then. There'd be an argument that he ought to stick to the agreement, were it not for the fact that you've gone along with it for 7 years. I don't think you can really decide it's a problem now when you've gone along with it and it's not spiralling or anything.

This assumes he's not smoking around the children, as that potentially harms their lungs and that he's not taking the piss with how often he does it. Different entirely if he's frequently getting blitzed and either unilaterally deciding that you'll be doing all the childcare when he wants a smoke or getting insensible around them. You don't mention any of those things being the case. It also sounds like he's probably getting it from some hippy who grows their own, rather than lining the pockets of people traffickers.

I think it's completely reasonable not wanting him to engage in illegal activity now you have children.

People like to pretend it isn't the case but Illegal drugs will always be linked to organised crime. Buying weed is supporting gangs and violence.

Move to Canada. Then he can smoke it legally.

Yes we have family in Canada 🇨🇦 they are living the dream camping / surfing / being with nature and loving life .

And yeah it's an old boy that grows his own so no connection to the underworld - it's not like that here ✌️

Yes we have family in Canada 🇨🇦 they are living the dream camping / surfing / being with nature and loving life .

Better arrange a visit soon. Molson is developing a marijuana infused beer. I can't wait to visit home and try it!

They're either side in Vancouver and Toronto so we're talking about doing a big trip in a couple of years -maybe for husbands 40th and spend a month or so seeing as much of Canada as we can 😀 maybe rent a camper van.

Anyway thanks for the replies . It's only very rarely and not near the kids , they are always tucked up in bed. So yeah I think I've over reacted a bit and need to chill. X