To be annoyed with school mum saying DD is teachers favourite.

[Toodle]

DD has just finished reception. She has got on really well this year. In the beginning she struggled with even holding a pencil properly let alone writing and reading. At the end of term she was given a special merit award for working so hard this year. She ended the year with at least expected in all areas.
One of the other mums has said (to my face!) that the only reason DD got the award is because she is the teachers favourite. She said she's seen my DD "showing off" in the mornings by going up to the teacher when it's time to go in and saying good morning or showing her writing or drawings that she has done.

I sort of laughed her off and said not to be so silly, even though DD seems very confident, the reason she's showing her teacher her work is because less than a year ago she couldn't even write her name and she's proud. As am I. But I certainly don't think that makes her the "favourite".

She replied saying her DD got "exceeding" in every aspect of the curriculum so she deserved the award more as she did better than my DD. At that point I just said how wonderful it was that her DD was doing so well and I'm sure she's very proud and then walked away as to be honest it all just felt ridiculous.

They give out awards at the end of each term and this is the first one my DD has got so it's not a case of my child always being "the one" and her DD got a bloody headteachers award before Christmas so I'm not sure what this mums problem is.

As it is, we made a fuss of DD when she got the award and praised her for all her hard work. Stuck it on the fridge and it hasn't been mentioned since, whilst I think it's lovely, it's not something I really care about either way. I'm just pleased DD is happy at school!

Aibu to be annoyed and think that we should be encouraging children and not bloody pitting them against each other and constantly comparing?

And I'm not flouncing now if I don't reply instantly to the attempt for a bunfight - I've managed to make quite an impressive cut in my foot cleaning the kitchen floor on what must have been a missed shard of broken crockery (unlike my daughter - dropped plates don't bounce) so I'm going to go on the eternal hunt around our house for an elastoplast someone hasn't used all of the second they found I actually HAD some in.

'I'm around school a lot,'

Seems so

Yep. I'm around school a lot. Lots of the parents at our school are - it's one of those where they don't keep the community at arm's length so there are usually a few parents in doing various things around the site so not unusual - I could name you (obviously I won't literally name them but I could bring to mind without much effort that kind of number of parents) 5-6 regular helper parents from both my children's classes, plus people who do PTA events and other parents who show up to help on walking outings or trips or whatever.

Do carry on though.

Ok

What do people get from bragging to 'randoms' on anonymous Internet forums?

I like it when children who aren’t “top of the class” are acknowledged for their strengths/achievements/efforts.
It feels like a given that children who exceed in everything will get every award going and it’s wrong. Why should they? Your daughter sounds like she has made excellent progress this year and that should be acknowledged! Well done to your DD

I have mixed feelings about school awards, they are great for encouraging children to keep trying but lots of very deserving children inevitably get overlooked and parents who don't get the validation they need from them can over react and make their own child feel worse.

You have a healthy response- you have praised your daughter for her achievement but it's not the be all and end all. This woman needs to concentrate on helping her child overcome disappointment and build self worth rather than trying to bring your child down. Might be worth letting the school know that this parent is harassing others.