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Original poster

To wonder, in terms of dating sites, what "a bit of a belly" precisely means

35 replies

forceofhabitandnotneed · 29/07/2018 23:10

From time to time, I see women on dating sites say in their profiles that they "don't mind a bit of a belly" on a man, but don't want to date anyone too heavy.

I'm just curious as to how most of you would define this? As a fat bloke myself, I often hesitate to consider messaging someone with this on their profile, as I'd hate to turn up on a first date and have someone be embarrassed that I was outside their usual parameter. I think there'd be a bit of shame felt all round.

OP posts:
TheThirdOfHerName · 29/07/2018 23:12

Perhaps there should be a measurement scale to clarify things; a bit like bra cups.

LEMtheoriginal · 29/07/2018 23:13

Dont you share pics before you meet up?

chestylarue52 · 29/07/2018 23:14

I like fat men. What puts me off physically is a very over hanging belly, but that’s mainly because it’s not good for sex. Other than that I like a chubby geezer!

NynaeveSedai · 29/07/2018 23:15

Basically, it means a man who is generally well built and muscular with broad shoulders who enjoys a pint and a curry and whose flat belly is now more of a cuddly pillow.

That phrase doesn't mean a man who is just overweight, without a muscular frame, or a skinny man with a pot belly.

Original poster
forceofhabitandnotneed · 29/07/2018 23:15

Yes, LEM, but they rarely show your full body.

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 29/07/2018 23:21

had the best sex ive ever had with an overweight man.

As a woman who has struggled with weight herself ( i used to be a size 28 and am now a 14) i can also understand how hard it is to lose .

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 29/07/2018 23:24

I assume it to mean a dad bod rather than obese.

locochat · 29/07/2018 23:25

If you define yourself as a a fat bloke then you probably have more than the bit of belly that they're meaning. I hate the term fat, and would never describe anyone as that, but it implies that you are overweight all over, is that the case?

locochat · 29/07/2018 23:25

I assume it to mean a dad bod rather than obese.

Yep.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 29/07/2018 23:26

This is a mild dad bod imo..

To wonder, in terms of dating sites, what "a bit of a belly" precisely means
forgotMyusernameAgain · 29/07/2018 23:28

Anything like that bugs me on dating sites, as far as i am concerned it should be their personlity thats draws you not their physicality, unfortunately we are still hooking by looks.

locochat · 29/07/2018 23:28

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking

Is it? I have more leeway than that! Grin

locochat · 29/07/2018 23:30

Oh sorry NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking, missed that you said mild.

ShastaBeast · 29/07/2018 23:31

My DH has a bit of a belly and his BMI is top end of normal. I suspect it could range from slight chub to James Cordon.

A bit of a tummy on a woman is probaby far more variable. Even as a size 8 I would have (and did) a bit of a tummy.

Original poster
forceofhabitandnotneed · 29/07/2018 23:32

Yes, locochat, I'm around 18 stones.

OP posts:
user1471530109 · 29/07/2018 23:32

Dating is so excited depressing! I haven't seen comments like that the other way. But I'm not actively dating because .scared and overweight

I've dated a larger man before. Not a problem one bit. In fact I quite liked it actually Wink

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 29/07/2018 23:33

I think it’s natural that looks play a part, but not at the expense of personality..

I don’t believe anyone doesn’t make some judgement on looks initially.

user1471530109 · 29/07/2018 23:34

So was the guy a dated. Not a problem for me. As long as the chap hasn't got a problem with the woman being overweight too? I've seen a few profiles of larger men looking for 'nothing over 10 stone'

pinkglitterandallthatjazz · 29/07/2018 23:41

forgotMyusernameAgain Sun 29-Jul-18 23:28:02
Anything like that bugs me on dating sites, as far as i am concerned it should be their personlity thats draws you not their physicality, unfortunately we are still hooking by looks.

I think this is very naive - whether on a dating site (not been on one) or in the flesh surely we are all initially attracted by looks?

To answer though OP - a 'bit of a belly' to me would mean not overweight and not having a toned six pack Smile

ShastaBeast · 29/07/2018 23:43

I have an ex who was 18 stone with a bit of a belly but he was a rugby player so fit and muscular otherwise. Sadly his personality let him down so it didn’t matter. The terminology and measurements we use don’t really help. The whole package needs to be understood so a photo would be best if you want to ensure you don’t waste time with the wrong people.

Emma765 · 29/07/2018 23:54

I'd say Dad bod. A bit of a barrel but not overhanging. Like Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall up to Seth Rogen in Neighbours.

Emma765 · 29/07/2018 23:58

My husband is 5'11, broad and was 19 and a half st when I met him. His belly very much sticks out though rather than hangs down. He dropped below 17st and is now around 18 and a half again. Fancied him at all his various weights. It often depends on your confidence in yourself more than anything.

locochat · 29/07/2018 23:59

Well in that case OP you're probably better off giving folk like that a swerve. 18 stones is different depending on body composition of course but I doubt anyone with a dadbod (thanks PP) would describe themselves as a fat bloke altogether.

locochat · 30/07/2018 00:02

But then you have folk like ShastaBeast's ex and Emma765's husband so numbers mean little.

HelenaDove · 30/07/2018 00:10

"I've seen a few profiles of larger men looking for 'nothing over 10 stone"

sexism hypocrisy and male entitlement Wow Such a turn on Hmm