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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that driving home by 330pm after a night drinking is a reasonable ask?

76 replies

hooochycoo · 29/07/2018 20:55

AIBU to think that having a night drinking with your friends and then getting home about 330pm in the afternoon ( 1 hour drive) is a reasonable ask? Or is it unrealistic?

OP posts:

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 30/07/2018 00:49

The reluctance to provide detail on this is making me believe the scenario is more like you’d told your DP that he must ensure he is ok to drive home as you want him do X at 3.30. He’s agreed (to keep the peace) but then is claiming he isn’t fit to drive back in time for your plans... which he never wanted to be part of.

Is this close?

bluemascara · 30/07/2018 01:00

🙄

4GreenApples · 30/07/2018 01:00

Depends.

How much they’ve drunk, what time did they stop drinking?
I was told it takes roughly an hour for the body to metabolise a unit of alcohol, but then things like sex, build, medications etc vary how alcohol affect the individual, so you can’t rely on that as a certainty....

And then add in the complication that having gone home for a sleep after drinking can make people feel mistakenly that they’re sober when they’re still over the limit.

Maybe you should invest in a breathalyser to be sure?

Takfujimoto · 30/07/2018 01:10

Is it Professor Plum in the Cellar with the wine glass?🧐

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/07/2018 01:12

I is not U to expect someone to be able to go out and make sure they are capable of driving home at 3:30pm. Especially if you have been at home alone all that time and the weekend has been effectively wasted. Sounds like he didnt want to though........

Ginkypig · 30/07/2018 01:36

The answer obviously isn't the same if this is a scenario where the person already is not in a state to drive but my answer to you would be.

Yes. If an adult knows that he/she needs to be able to get back home by 3-30pm the next day then they should be responsible about how much they drink and until what time so as they are ok to get home for that time.

It is perfectly possible to drink responsibly, it's a deliberate choice not to and I say that as someone who had issues with alcohol in my past.

Sammyham88 · 30/07/2018 01:43

Drip drip drip..

Mxyzptlk · 30/07/2018 01:55

I think it's Saturday night out for DP. OP has said Be back for 3.30 because X. DP says No can do, will be too pissed, can't help it etc. etc.

OP NU to ask. DP VU and selfish.

TheWonderfulCat · 30/07/2018 01:59

I know of someone who went to visit and drink in the city a couple years ago with his girlfriend.

His mum found out and ordered him back home. He crashed and was killed instantly. He hadn't even had a drink yet.

My point is, I dont think it's fair to tell someone to be home at a certain time as they may be under pressure and drive when perhaps they shouldnt.

It sounds like they drinking should finish up relatively early, however I have personally attended a catch up that didnt stop till about 4am

LMDC · 30/07/2018 02:21

A few details wouldn't go amiss, OP

If I had plans at 3:30pm on Sunday and was going for drinks on Saturday night it would certainly be doable and not an unreasonable expectation. However, if I did not know about those plans until Sunday I could easily not be in a good condition by 3:30pm.

Depends on the detail as to whether or not yabu.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 30/07/2018 02:26

How many miles it is to the nearest coastline?

FASH84 · 30/07/2018 05:01

OP if you tell us what time roughly they start drinking what time they stop and how many units (or just what drinks on average) we can work out how long it would take the alcohol to clear plus a buffer to be on the safe side. You need to be more specific. If it's a very very heavy night and they don't stop until the wee small hours they might not be fit to drive. Also if they are just really tired and hung over they might not feel up to it and would still have delayed reactions even if alcohol level was under the limit

feathermucker · 30/07/2018 05:03

Depends on the amount consumed and the time you stop drinking.

Your post isn't very specific and it's impossible to say!

FASH84 · 30/07/2018 05:07

@jennatools What will they have eaten in the 24 hours prior? How many hours of sleep will they have had? How much will they have had to eat between stopping drinking and driving?

Having previously delivered programmes to convicted drink drivers I hope you know the advice are all myths and don't 'sober you up' is often how people get caught out the next day, ',I agree a big plate of pasta before I went out, I've slept, had coffee and a big breakfast I thought I'd be fine' you might feel fine but it didn't change how long it takes for you liver to metabolise alcohol

itswinetime · 30/07/2018 05:23

Your question is i think is it reasonable to expect some one to moderate their alcohol intake so they are fit to drive at a certain time. And yes of course it is but wether or not the person wants to or not is up to them and depends on the event they are traveling for doesn't it?

RiddleyW · 30/07/2018 05:36

His mum found out and ordered him back home. He crashed and was killed instantly. He hadn't even had a drink yet.

Is the implication that this is the mums fault? How is a horrible but random accident happening to a sober person anything to do with the OP? So nobody should ever ask anyone to do anything in case they have an accident?

cheesemongery · 30/07/2018 06:23

Well that's 5 minutes I won't get back

TSSDNCOP · 30/07/2018 06:27

I would say it depends on the reception the drinker will receive upon arrival home. If they think it’s going to be s cats bum mouth then extending the arrival time to the max would be my advice.

DianaT1969 · 30/07/2018 06:32

This gets my vote for the most irritating, time-wasting thread of the week.
OP do you speak in crytic riddles to your partner too? Could it be a cause for their overnight escape?

Waitedtoolong · 30/07/2018 06:47

Too early for riddles ..

XiCi · 30/07/2018 06:48

FFS, of course it is possible to drive back by that time if you watch how much you drink and when you stop drinking.. Obviously the person you want back by 3.30pm doesn't want to do this. Fair enough to say no if they know they will not be in a state to drive from past experience. Whether that's unreasonable depends on why you want them back by 3.30 in the first place.

Bibesia · 30/07/2018 07:09

This is an unanswerable question if you insist on framing it in terms of "It's up to the drinker how much they drink and when they stop drinking". Surely it's obvious that the answer differs if, say, the drinker has a couple of glasses of wine and a cocktail and goes to bed at 11 compared with if s/he is knocking back shots all night and goes to bed at 6?

TheWonderfulCat · 30/07/2018 07:22

Riddley I'm not implying that it was the mums fault at all. I was more pointing out that pressure can put people in positions they necessarily wouldn't be in.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 30/07/2018 07:31

You are not looking for a discussion you just want to be told you are right so you can use it as ammunition against someone.
My answer is - it depends. If it’s a weekly occurrence my answer will be different to a once in 6 month’s catch up with old friends.
(I’m teetotal so no vested interest)

tinytemper66 · 30/07/2018 17:27

Just answer the questions other posters are asking. Other wise this is a pointless exercise!

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