AIBU to ask which is the most neutral term dinner, supper or tea?

[ConfusedWife1234]

AIBU to ask which the most neutral term for dinner/supper/tea is? I am not a native speaker and I have been told that your usage of the word says a lot about ethnic ancestry, social class, if your are from the UK, US or another English speaking country, part of the country and so on. Which is the most neutral term and when do I use which one?

I think most countries have social class systems.... but I have been totally astonished that the difference between the military, the clergy and civilians does not exist in the English speaking world (and seems to have never existed????).

I say breakfast, lunch, dinner. Dh says breakfast, dinner, tea.

After 13 years it still causes confusion eg Dh "I'll have that bacon for dinner" Me "But I'm slow cooking a chicken!!

He means lunch.

E.g. I could see someone in an area near me who drives a porsche, has hair and make up and nails done inmaculately, deisgner clothes and designer bag and I wouldn't think middle class. I would think common, fur coat and no knickers. So they have all the obvious features of wealth but that wouldn't give them class.

But that's a pretty obvious example of someone who isn't actually middle class, to be fair.

It may be hard to articulate exactly what working, middle and upper class are - but visually, it's almost instantaneously obvious.

And that's not even taking accents into account - a marker that many other countries don't have.

E.g. I could see someone in an area near me who drives a porsche, has hair and make up and nails done inmaculately, deisgner clothes and designer bag and I wouldn't think middle class. I would think common, fur coat and no knickers. So they have all the obvious features of wealth but that wouldn't give them class

sure, and non Brits are just as capable of seeing that than Brits, aren't they?

I have been totally astonished that the difference between the military, the clergy and civilians does not exist in the English speaking world (and seems to have never existed????).

You will find that in history books. Medieval history pays the most attention to it.

It's really not important OP so I'd just not worry about it. Fwiw tea to me is light meal about 5 oclock. Dinner is more substantial meal later in the evening.. Supper is a small snack before bed or sometimes used instead of dinner by pretentious types who like to imagine they're posher than they really are!
When we were little we used breakfast, dinner and tea to describe mealtimes. I'm guessing because we had school 'dinners' at lunchtime then another light meal around 5. It's all a bit of a minefield

The Ivy caters to a certain class

Well to a certain financial bracket, certainly. I expect Dani Dyer can afford to eat at The Ivy too but she's not quite in the Queen's level (no disrespect intended to either).

But my local pub also has a dessert menu.

So do most restaurants. For example Pizza Express calls it dessert. So, apparently, does McDonalds as I just googled to check.

If I was asked to order from the dessert menu I wouldn't assume a restaurant was naff, and would use the same term as them. But at home we call it pudding.

sure, and non Brits are just as capable of seeing that than Brits, aren't they?
Depends.

I don't believe anyone picks up the nuances of any culture unless they spend a significant amount of time immersed in a culture and would find anyone who claims otherwise to be quite arrogant.

Breakfast is the first meal of the day- breaking the fast (overnight)
Lunch is a meal around midday. As in lunch hour. Could be a proper meal, or could be a sandwich or a bowl of soup.
Dinner is eaten in the evening and for me, is the main meal of the day. It might be followed by dessert, which could be any sweet food.

Just to complicate things, brunch is usually eaten mid to late morning when it’s a bit late for breakfast and a bit early for lunch.
Afternoon tea is around 3pm and is sandwiches, scones, cakes, pastries and a pot of tea.

You could have dinner with a starter, main course and dessert. Some restaurants have cheese as a dessert course and you could have cheese and then dessert. That was more popular a couple of hundred years ago though.

I don't believe anyone picks up the nuances of any culture unless they spend a significant amount of time immersed in a culture and would find anyone who claims otherwise to be quite arrogant

It wasn't a very nuanced scenario you described, it was patently obvious to anyone, and this notion that only born Brits can possibly understand the class system is pretty offensive.

I have been totally astonished that the difference between the military, the clergy and civilians does not exist in the English speaking world (and seems to have never existed????).

What do you mean by has never existed? Of course it has!

I'm in the South East.

Breakfast. Eaten when you get up (rarely by me.)
Lunch. Eaten in the middle of the day.
Dinner. Evening meal.
Pudding. After dinner.
Supper. Toast or cereal eaten before bed. (I often have this on a work day as my break is somewhere between 4-5pm and I don't get home until 9.30/10pm.

Tea is a hot drink.

Afternoon tea would include cakes/small sandwiches. Often eaten instead of lunch.

Cream tea is tea with scones, cream and jam.

Has anyone mentioned High Tea yet?

Honestly who give a monkeys?

Breakfast is breakfast
Lunch is lunch,
Dinner can be offset by "making something for tea" which means something for tea time, or dinner. Interchangeable.

Supper is never a thing outside certain areas of UK, remember Mrs. Bouquet's candlelight suppers? No, we don't do that anymore outside of the posh shires, if they even do that now. Supper is gone.

So it is

Breakfast,
Lunch
Dinner or tea.

Well for most ordinary mortals anyway!

Part of the joke with the 'candlelit suppers' was that she was misusing the word for an occasion that was blatantly a dinner party.

The correct words are:

Breakfast

Lunch
Dinner

This:

Breakfast (if you can be bothered) is the first meal or snack of the day.
Brunch is later in the morning when you're too late for breakfast and too early for lunch - usually a fry up!
Lunch is the middle of the day meal, when and if you get a chance (bloody work).
Tea is in the mid afternoon, usually pot(s) of tea and scones / toast or similar (haven't had this for years - my grandma used to do it though).
Supper is an informal evening meal (home or out at friends or in a pub - it's what we have at home).
Dinner can be formal, either in a restaurant or at friends.

It wasn't a very nuanced scenario you described, it was patently obvious to anyone, and this notion that only born Brits can possibly understand the class system is pretty offensive.
It would be if someone equated designer labels and expensive cars with class. People often assume class equals wealth, house size, car etc.

Keep claiming offensive all you like. As I just said:
I don't believe anyone picks up the nuances of any culture unless they spend a significant amount of time immersed in a culture and would find anyone who claims otherwise to be quite arrogant
If you believe that this ^ means 'only people born in the UK gets the class system then it's quite obvious you either don't get it or are seeking to be argumentative.

Culture is complex. The nuances of ANY culture are difficult to pick up on unless you spend a lot of time in that culture. If anyone tells me they can get the subtle codes within a culture without spending lots of time in it then they are really quite arrogant (or ignorant of the nuances of whichever culture they are claiming to be well versed in)

Supper is never a thing outside certain areas of UK, remember Mrs. Bouquet's candlelight suppers? No, we don't do that anymore outside of the posh shires, if they even do that now.

It's certainly still done where I live, and that isn't in the posh shires.

Hi Chanel,

Do you have four meals so (or five lol).

Breakfast, Lunch, Tea, Dinner, Supper.

If so.... get prepping for Brexit is nigh and we will all be starving.

Supper. Toast or cereal eaten before bed.

Well, actually, it's breakfast. Just eaten at bedtime.

Is this (toast and cereal before bed) really a thing?

If I was going to go to the trouble of having a late evening snack supper - I'd make something a damn sight more interesting than toast or cereal. If you're going to consume the calories at a time when your body's least ready to deal with them, at least make it worth it.

It would be if someone equated designer labels and expensive cars with class. People often assume class equals wealth, house size, car etc

That is as true of British people as it is of non British.

The point stands: a pp said that non British people can not EVER possibly understand the class system. I pointed out this is not true, and you seem to be posting daft scenarios that prove nothing in order to defend that point. No idea why.

The British class system is something many british people do not understand, and some non British people do. End of story.

Dinner is the main meal of the day whenever you have it. Tea is a cuppa and snack (biscuits, sandwich, cake, whatever you fancy) in the afternoon. The last meal of the day is usually supper or dinner.

Dinner is the evening meal. Tea is a snack mid afternoon. I’ve never been to a restaurant offering dinner at midday or tea for the evening

OK, just to confuse things even more. When I was at school in the 70s, your 'lunch' was a snack you brought to school to eat mid-morning to keep you going until school dinner time. Maybe an apple or a Kit-Kat.

My North Welsh parents called the meals breakfast, dinner and tea. Some of the posher families in my neighbourhood in the south west called them breakfast, lunch and dinner.

School meals were always dinner because they were a hot and cooked dinner. Packed sandwiches were a packed lunch.

Tea could be the meal children ate at around 6 and dinner might be eaten by adults later.

Supper was a glass of milk and a biscuit in the evening before bed.

I now use breakfast, lunch and tea and avoid saying dinner at all because it confuses me. It's the most confusing of the meal words as it can mean midday or evening. If I go out with friends in the evening it's for a meal, not dinner or tea.