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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

566 replies

craxmum · 29/07/2018 10:03

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

OP posts:
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speakingwoman · 29/07/2018 10:54

It’s beautiful.

It is difficult the first time you meet someone you can’t reason with. You can’t make progress till you harden up.

I think this woman has anxiety and is looking for something to displace it on to. My giant-shed/cut-the-trees neighbours excelled in victim blaming.....

Dodie66 · 29/07/2018 10:55

Your garden is just my type of garden. Hers is not a garden. I see you have rhubarb 🙂
It’s beautiful . Take no notice of your neighbour. Also 7 am on a Sunday? She is being very unreasonable

namechangedagainII · 29/07/2018 10:55

It's lovely BUT could definitely be improved with an army of very offensive gnomes

MissusGeneHunt · 29/07/2018 10:57

Yes, deffo the chickens, but pleeeeease make sure you get at least two cockerels.... and a pygmy goat....

OP your garden looks divine, I'd love to live next door to you so I could get some tips!

Horrible bloody woman, how very dare she. Seriously I'd be telling her to f*ck right off.

SuitedandBooted · 29/07/2018 10:57

She wasn't overtly racist (and I am same race as her), more along the lines "we don't do this in Britain in case if you did not know".

Actually, having a plastic garden is a lot more frowned on, as this thread proves!

I take it she missed all the TV stuff on RHS Show Chelsea, Hampton Court etc. Her garden would only appeal to astro turf and decking fans like her, so I would say she has probably de-valued her own house!

brizzledrizzle · 29/07/2018 10:58

Have you considered keeping homing pigeons?

They are excellent for keeping chickens company.

HermioneGoesBackHome · 29/07/2018 10:58

we don't do this in Britain in case if you did not know
Haha. It’s a shame it looks exactly like the one of my MIL, who is as British as you can. It looks like a lovely british garden actually.

BlankTimes · 29/07/2018 10:59

we don't do this in Britain

Oh yes we do!!!

OP, your garden is wonderful. don't change a thing, ignore the stupid woman next door, log all her comments, record them if you have your phone handy and above all, ENJOY your wonderful garden, it's a joy to see.

StringandGlitter · 29/07/2018 10:59

There’s nothing she can do. My neighbour’s garden is eye level height weeds the whole garden. We had environmental health round and the only thing they could insist in was removing the piled up bags of rubbish and clearing the drains as they were flooding and smelly. They can’t insist on plant clearing except where its knocking down walls.

groundcontroltomontydon · 29/07/2018 10:59

How skilled are you with the hedge cutters?

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue
Nikephorus · 29/07/2018 11:00

we don't do this in Britain in case if you did not know
If only more gardens in Britain were like this. I'm dead envious.
(Admits to weirdly quite fancying Margot Leadbetter though)

Nicolamarlow1 · 29/07/2018 11:01

She is racist and is picking on your garden as a way of insulting you, and if it wasn't the garden it would be something else. I would love your garden. Keep a record of all her interactions with you and report her for racism if she continues.

craxmum · 29/07/2018 11:02

Thank you all :) I thought I'd check with the wider population if
Lol at the offensive gnomes suggestion :)
It may be that she will settle down. I understand she bought the house with a payout from her divorce settlement, used to enjoy a much higher standard of living and finds it difficult adjusting now to having neighbours with different lifestyles etc. Probably just upset and stressed out.

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 29/07/2018 11:02

I cannot believe the nerve of some people. How can any one think they have the right to go around and complain about a neighbours garden??
What planet are they on that they think they are entitled to do this?

EliseC1965 · 29/07/2018 11:02

As a precaution, as a pp said about weekiller over the fence, I’d install a cheap cctv aimed at the border of your garden, just in case.

And also install a ‘wickerman’ scarecrow Wink

Duskqueen · 29/07/2018 11:03

Your garden looks amazing. Your neighbour isn't called Hyacinth is she? Next time she knocks say " oh Hello Mrs Bouquet". Seriously tell her to do one, your garden is perfect for you and yours.

Pippylou · 29/07/2018 11:03

Mine is defo like that but with a lot of weeds!

Isn't a flower garden actually quintessentially English?

spottybetty · 29/07/2018 11:03

She’s bonkers, op. Your garden sounds great. Ignore her.

craxmum · 29/07/2018 11:04

Sorry, meant - I thought I'd check with the wider population if there is anything definitely wrong.

OP posts:
user1497863568 · 29/07/2018 11:04

"we don't do this in Britain you know" - what on earth is this mad woman talking about? Were the gardens described in all those Enid Blyton books all decking and astroturf with 'tasteful' tall succulent pots or much like yours? Hmmm.... or 'The Secret Garden' both before and after it's transformation?

Pippylou · 29/07/2018 11:04

I second CCTV. If only to catch wildlife stuff but I'm pretty sure my last neighbours did something to my then chooks.

Knowivedonewrong · 29/07/2018 11:05

Make yourself a Scarecrow that looks like the weirdo character out of the film Jeepers Kreepers, complete with crows and put it facing her garden. She won't sleep then, the stupid Bint.

groundcontroltomontydon · 29/07/2018 11:06

Where does the surface water from your neighbour's hermetically sealed garden drain to? There are planning considerations your neighbour might have overlooked.

Echobelly · 29/07/2018 11:07

Sorry you've been landed with a nutty neighbour. If she keeps on I suggest trying to just play as nice as possible, emphasising you just have different styles of gardens and you are both here for the long run, so having arguments will just make everyone's life unpleasant.

ShowOfHands · 29/07/2018 11:07

It's very British. I'm as white and English as it gets. Hundreds of years of rural miners as far back as I can track. My garden is full of flowers, veg, berries, fruit trees, bees, birds, butterflies, vines, compost and water butts. Her sterile excuse for a garden isn't very British at all.

Get some pigs to keep an eye on your chickens.

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