Polite or annoying?

[Emotionaleater]

Ok, so this is a hypothetical situation, but I would like to hear views as I might be in this situation soon.
So, if you don’t like (for a better word) people of a certain religion, and a family as such moved near you, would you be annoyed at them trying to introduce themselves/bringing small gift as a ‘hi, new neighbour’ thing?
Trying to work out if that would be a no, never, would make my blood boil more, or would that be acceptable?
Really interested to hear what people have to say

garethsouthgatesmrs - definitely not the bigot

DunkandEggAgain - ohhh it’s good to read a reply from someone who can ‘see’ what I mean, if that makes sense

You know I didn’t realise it was the other way round, as in new neighbour being offered a cake/biscuits

I would think it was lovely of them but be secretly annoyed as it would make me feel like a crap person for never doing anything that nice .

Seriously though, it wouldn't be necessary. I'd be happy to be friendly with any new neighbour.

I think a friendly introduction would be nice
I personally wouldn't be too happy with food offerings as I have dietary restrictions, and I honestly think just introducing yourself without gifts should be enough anyway. A friendly hello would also maybe give you a good idea if your neighbours would be open to getting to know you a bit better. If someone takes an instant dislike to you because of your religion, cupcakes aren't going to make much difference. But I like to think most people don't judge by religion anyway although I know that unfortunately some people do

I don't dislike any religion!

I am wary of Jehovah's Witnesses though.

If a new neighbour brought me cupcakes to say hello I'd think they were very lovely new neighbours and wouldn't give a second thought to what religion they were . A persons religion only bothers me if they try to force it on me.

I'm not trying to suggest you haven't a ed prejudice, but try not to find it where it isn't

DunkandEggAgain I've only ever lived in urban multi-cultural areas, I get culture shock in non-diverse areas tbh, so it's the idea of a white suburban country village that is strange for me.

Emotionaleater you'll need to specify that you need responses from people who live in white suburban country villages I think!

Do you mean you are going to bring something to your neighbour who doesn't like your religion?

If so I wouldn't bother. If they can hate you based on your religion without knowing you a few buns will hardly change them!

I'm guessing the religion is Islam?

I don't like people who prejudice others for whatever reason. Nice Muslim folk, along with all other nice folk, are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

You shouldn't have to gift anything to anyone OP - a friendly Hello and an intro when you meet should be fine.

BUT if you are getting any kind of vibes from your neighbours, I would absolutely go round with a cake. Not because they deserve it or you should have to 'buy' your way in, but because there is nothing more satisfying than challenging prejudice with acts of kindness.

Hopefully, you are worried about nothing and good luck in your new home.

Why would religion even be raised?

If a new neighbour popped round to say hello and also added "by the way, we're scientologists/CofE/ practice voodoo" I'd just be shocked. Why mention it? None of my business.

I think that regardless of the religion a small gift would be appreciated , however I would be cautious of food ( esp home made things ) its a minefield out there when it come to allergies / intolerance's / religious or just dislikes .
I would go with a bunch of flowers and perhaps a vase for them , but one of the best thing we were given when we moved to a strange area was contact details , like GPs , taxis , takeaways , window cleaner , milk men , gardeners , places to top up gas and electric .
also things like what days the different bins go out , good local garages , local bus routes to the near by shops / town centre,
We referred back to our information card time and time again , it was a god send and helped us a lot .

I'm sorry, I missed the point that it was you who will be the new neighbor. It is a lovely thing to do but I agree that you shouldn't have to, I hope the people in your new neighborhood appreciate the gesture and turn out to be lovely and welcoming to you and your family and if any don't, it sounds like it'll be their loss.

it is common practice here to welcome a new family with a snake and drinks,coffee,tea.
when i,moved into my present home.i was greated by one couple from across the way,with a bottle of wine and a rose bush.the lady nd came over with a tray of cakes/sandwiches and ice cold homemade lemonade.they are all my friends,across the way are"bikers"the lady next door is the wife of a minister.
i am an animist.
on the other side have had columbian roman catholics.we are always feeding each other!!!!!!!!
religion is irrelevent to friendship.
do what feels right the sharing of food is a ritual as old as time.

I would love a snake if I moved somewhere new

I bet you would slitherytove .

Our little close has Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Catholic and Anglican. Nine houses! All v friendly. Hold each others keys, park cars on each other's drives when on hols.

A snake, eh?😂

Oh right. Ok, well I hope you know what me and the OP are getting at though, Thinkingcat. Most of the uk live in non diverse towns and area's, Despite what scaremongering tabloids try to say otherwise.

I think its like social conditioning in regards to men vs women. Men fuck things up and it is just that, a fuck up. Women fuck up and it's a case of, "stupid bitch, you see? This is why women shouldn't try to do these things/stay at home/get your tits out/ leave the xxxxx for the men to do" ect etc. (I'm sorry for bluntness, but you get my drift).
As a family we feel on high alert when we "present" in a non diverse area - our manners and smiley faces have to be on point, we have to make sure we look as presentable as possible, we feel really on edge if our toddler plays up, we go all out in tidying away after ourselves if we've eaten out anywhere, we make sure our house and garden, car are as clean, tidy and presentable as possible because honestly if we're lacking in any area, then yes, whatever it is people with bigoted views may see from us, it will reinforce their views that we are like the way we are BECAUSE we're "other", and not simply because we're lacking in an area or having a bad day, as all people do. People aren't always as gracious as most on here.
Majority of folk are really nice though when we get to talking with them. I wonder if thats because I've killed them with kindness!
God i make it sound like we live in nazi Germany, im sorry, thats obviously not the case but I don't know how to explain well how it feels to live with these daily micro aggressions.

I don’t like any religion. For the most part it has no bearing on what I think of a person... few people actually push their religion onto others.

I do like cake though. People can push their cake onto me.

I love neighbors who introduce themselves with cake etc. but I dislike people pushing their religion even if they bring cake etc. So I wonder how it is they will know that you have a religion they dislike unless you intend, in some way, to bear witness to that belief in their presence. If you make a show of your belief to everyone it may be that it doesn’t matter how much they would otherwise like you, what they will see first and foremost will be you promoting your religion or setting yourself apart through your religion and they will take their cue from that.

I think you have more to gain than lose by trying, though.

Definitely take them a nice snake Op. if they seem in anyway unpleasant then go back with a peckish cobra.

I think it's going to be hard to get an answer on this one OP, because anyone who would actually dislike people because of their religion is going to be aware that that's not a socially acceptable attitude, so they won't be honest about it (perhaps even to themselves) - it'll be all "I don't have a problem with people's religion, I just hate it when they X" where X is the first thing the other family do that is socially acceptable to get annoyed about.

Thinking of the racist nutters in my family, there are ones that just want any excuse to be angry and cakes or whatever wouldn't help with them, because nothing would help, but there are ones who're just a bit ignorant and I imagine it would help. Not the plant though, that's too much. But the cakes. I can imagine they would quite like having some on the ground knowledge of nice people from X religion to go and contradict my other aunties with.

I think it would be a nice friendly thing to do, but it's definitely unusual for people moving into a house to give a present (rather than the existing neighbours giving something).

If a new neighbour popped round to see me with a plate of cakes, I'd think they were a kind person and would end up being a good neighbour, but I'd also feel awkward. I'd feel that I should invite them in for a cup of tea and it would be nice to share the cakes but as a vegan I wouldn't be able to eat them myself. I'd end up not inviting the neighbour in as it might offend them if I didn't eat what they'd brought. People with dairy or egg allergies would have the same dilemma.

I do think it's sad that you know people would work out what religion you belong to when they see you and that you have to worry about being judged because of this.

If it were just us as a couple, I wouldn't bother with the gifts, just a hello and smile type of thing when I saw the neighbors because I wouldn't care tbh.

With kids though you don't want them being excluded from playing with the other children so I would definitely make the effort on their behalf.

At least that way, the next generation might grow up less bigoted.

I would feel it was too much - irrespective of religion or otherwise. Just say "hi, I'm Emotionaleater and have just moved into number 6"

If someone brought plants or cakes - unless there were only two or three houses in the street - I'd feel it was weird. (I'm in London though so 50 neighbours in the street).

And again - maybe because of being in London - but there are so many religions, races, nationalities in my street that I wouldn't think twice about it

I do dislike the term 'non-diverse' areas - the implication being that rural areas are the exception and somehow lacking the 'good' things about 'diverse' areas. It has the same kind of prejudice that calling black people 'non-white' or SEN children 'non-normal'
The UK as I keep repeating is nearly 90% white/European with many of the population able to trace their ancestry back hundreds of years (often in the same county/region).
The fear so often expressed on here that non-diverse areas (I am quoting not using the word I would prefer) are 'dangerous' to ethnic minorities, or hot-beds of right-wing agitators is so insulting and blatantly not true.