AIBU 'anyone for a cup of tea?'

[absoluteclassic]

Ok so after having people round for dinner I generally ask if anyone would like a cup of tea. This is often met with 'oh yes I'd love a coffee, thanks'. WHY!? I asked if you would like tea you CF. I am rubbish at making coffee, it is mysterious and scary to me.

Then roll in the demands of how they precisely want their coffee and none of that instant stuff will do.

AIBU!?

I love coffee

I will happily drink it all day long including in bed just before I go to sleep

You don't get a choice in my house. We always have coffee after a dinner party - with brandy or scotch in it and cream on top!

This is the third thread on here that I've read today about tea!

Offer tea or instant coffee (a decent one in a tin like Azera or Lavazza prontissimo). Coffee wankers (of which I am one) can take their pick.

If they want a coffee, then get them to come and make it while you wash up/load dishwasher / tidy kitchen.
I like a nice hot squash myself. Not difficult.

LBCOS2 and anyone else in my camp? Where tea/coffee/bovril is usually only offered after “something stronger”. I think I’d be disappointed at a mates house if they effectively called time at the end of dinner

I’d tell the rude buggers I only have tea, it’s not a bloody cafe.

YABU.

To be honest, I don't think you're being unreasonable, and I'm a coffee drinker.
Quite often after dinner people ask "anyone for tea", when I politely say no thank-you they usually ask me (as I'm the only one who would say no in my friendship group) if I would like coffee or something else. If they don't ask I survive until I'm home and can make my own coffee which tastes much nicer anyways.
It might be worth getting one of those Nespresso machines if your guests keep insisting you make coffee, I don't really like the coffee from them but everyone else seems to, and it's definitely better than instant coffee. You just put a capsule in and press go

@petrolpump28 every class has been drinking tea since forever. So what exactly do you mean?

I only drink instant coffee has to be nescafe gold

It's a bit cheeky to expect someone to have something other than instant. Personally if I'm not offered something I don't ask for it. But I love tea and coffee. I'm also painfully nervous in social situations.

Cup of tea you say? Ah go on, go on, go on, go on, go on

I'd take that as shorthand for 'tea or coffee'. I'd be disappointed to only be offered the tea option because it's not an after dinner drink for me.

I'm rubbish at tea really because I don't drink it. Well, I do, but Earl Grey without milk or a herbal brew and only in the afternoon, so I never know how strong to make it & how much milk to put in. I'm always astonished when I fling a concoction together and people say 'aahh that was a lovely cup of tea'.

I find coffee far easier but I have a similar issue with milk judgement as I drink it black.

gaggiagirl do you really respond like that? It seems incredibly rude to me. Host 'would you like a cup of tea'. Guest 'make me coffee and none of that crappy instant stuff, do it properly the way I like it' with a thank you tacked on.

OP if this happens regularly kayakingmum's approach is good, let them know up front you don't have any coffee to offer and they should stop asking for it. Or you could just bring the pot of tea in and offer it around. Hopefully that's a big enough hint to the rude buggers that tea is what you are offering them.

We don't like coffee and we don't have it in the house. I used to buy instant for visitors but they didn't drink that and it felt a waste to throw it away so I gave up. We also don't drink soft drinks so the choice is water, milk or 40 different kinds of tea at our house.

I came to write exactly what @TheShapeOfEwe has said. Do it that way and they serve themselves

HildaZelda 😂😂😂

Pot of tea, pot of coffee, jug of milk, bowl of sugar. All on a tray and let them help themselves.

Who wants coffee in the evening? Does it not keep you awake?

That's why - if you start down the route of providing after dinner coffee - you need decaf coffee as well as regular ... and then you might need 2 cafetières (or better, aeropresses) ... hm, but also I hope you offer decaf tea as well as regular? And a herbal or two (mint and camomile at least....)

@gaggiagirl - 'ooh we will have a coffee please. Filter or caffetiere please. No instant thank you'

That's shockingly rude if you actually phrase it like that!

Mind you, my response to being offered a tea is "If you have green tea, I'd love one. If not, I'm fine, thank you".

YABU to not be able to make a simple instant coffee - I hate tea but can make a cup for tea drinking friends/relatives

YANBU to object to people making demands for non instant coffees or special types. They are in your home not a fucking costa

I used to buy instant for visitors but they didn't drink that and it felt a waste to throw it away

I have only ever met 1 person who won't drink an instant coffee and I am a coffee lover! We obviously move in very different circles

Coffee bags.
Yes they're real.
Taste better than instant, and they stay fresh in their own foil packet.

Non-tea-drinkers can be proactive and take one with them if they are unsure if their host will have/serve coffee & non-coffee-drinkers can be comforted with the little-bits-in-a-bag-dunked-in-hot-water method of making hot drinks.

(also excellent for travelling/camping)

YABU.

And I don't say that lightly.