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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cook for my son?

52 replies

TheHalfBloodPrincess · 28/07/2018 20:48

Ds is 13. If he’s out with his friends he has to be in at 9pm but he normally pops back for dinner at 5:30 when it’s ready.

I have a sinus infection and really cba to cook tonight so I just made things on toast for me, dd(14) and ds2(1) Ds didn’t come home until 6:45, just as I was getting the baby out of the bath, and threw the biggest strop ever because I hadn’t made him anything to eat. I told him what we’d had and said he was welcome to make himself some, as I was about to feed then put the baby to bed. He point blank refused to, and now the baby is asleep we’re in a stand off. He’s stomping about saying he’s hungry and that he’s reporting me to childline if I don’t cook for him as it means I’m neglecting him. I’ve just run myself a hot bath and am sitting in the steamy bathroom to try and clear my head.

AIBU to just leave him with no dinner? He’s the most stubborn child I’ve ever met and I know 100% he will not make himself any food to try and prove a point, whereas I think at 13 he’s more than capable of toasting some bread and bunging some beans in the microwave.

(He is actually quite a good cook and fends for himself when I’m at work)

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 28/07/2018 20:50

Some people are terrible when they're hungry - it must be a blood sugar thing. Tell him you're not well and to sort himself out and then talk to him about it.

PhyllisWig · 28/07/2018 20:50

No not at all. You are providing food (ie you've bought the bread and beans). Up to him what he does with that fact.

Hope you feel better soon

NewYearNewMe18 · 28/07/2018 20:50

Dial childline and hand him the phone

Happymummy1991 · 28/07/2018 20:51

YANBU! Cheeky sod Grin

DearMrDilkington · 28/07/2018 20:51

Yanbu. He sounds like a brat, nip it in the bud and don't give in.

Amanduh · 28/07/2018 20:52

Yes he’s being a stroppy bugger but he’s only 13! Just made him some dinner

Amanduh · 28/07/2018 20:52

Or make...

SilverHairedCat · 28/07/2018 20:54

Sounds reasonable to me.

It also sounds like you need to have a talk and set out your expectations of when you want him home for his dinner this summer.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 28/07/2018 20:55

You’re not neglecting him. You’ve directed him to the kitchen where there’s food he can prepare. He’s choosing not to cook. That’s his choice.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 28/07/2018 20:56

He’s 13. He can open a tin of beans and make toast. It’s not rocket science

NutElla5x · 28/07/2018 21:07

Don't give in to him.You're not feeling too well and have a young baby to care for.Your son should be offering to help out instead of throwing a tantrum,he is 13 not 5 ffs!

timeisnotaline · 28/07/2018 21:09

Nope definitely don’t. He’s 13, repeat I’m your mother not your servant and you chose to come home at 6:30.

LovelyBath77 · 28/07/2018 21:10

My 13 year old son is happy to make beans on toast or something, YANBU.

Singlenotsingle · 28/07/2018 21:13

He needs to learn how to cook, and that he should do it for himself if necessary. What are you? His personal servant? He might have to go to bed hungry. Not your problem.

ineedaholidaynow · 28/07/2018 21:15

I know he isn't behaving very well, but isn't 5.30 quite early for dinner for 13 and 14 year old.

Pengggwn · 28/07/2018 21:18

Dinner was at 5.30. He missed it. If he wants food, he knows where the kitchen is. The cheek of him!

Childline 😂

Cismyass · 28/07/2018 21:18

If he behaves like this after being out with his friends then no more playing out until he learns how to behave.

Ihuntmonsters · 28/07/2018 21:19

At 13 my children had agreed times to be home depending on when meals were planned (which might include 'we're all looking after ourselves tonight so just come home before x but was mostly we're eating at 7pm etc) and also cooked for the family at least once a week. A child that missed tea because they came home late and then stropped about not being catered for would get very little sympathy. There is food he can eat with very little effort so of course you aren't neglecting him.

Semster · 28/07/2018 21:22

My 13yo DS got in about 7.30 last night which meant he missed the steak and asparagus dinner.

He made himself some ravioli with toast. Sheesh. It's not that hard.

WooYa · 28/07/2018 21:24

Ask him if he wants you dial for him!
At 13 I was cooking a family meal at least once a week. Your son can surely make beans on toast, as you've said.

timeisnotaline · 28/07/2018 21:31

Agree you should cancel the playing with friends tomorrow.

PerverseConverse · 28/07/2018 21:31

I'm 42 and eat at 5pm. Our family has always eaten at 5. Why is 5.30pm late??

OP sticks to your guns and stay in the bath. He'll learn from this that he's home in time for dinner or else he makes himself something. YANBU.

McPie · 28/07/2018 21:35

My 11 year old ds made a proper mac cheese for him and his twin sister yesterday and I wasn't even sick just in the shower after a run! He asked, I pointed him in the right direction and he got on with it.

ShumpaLumpa · 28/07/2018 21:40

Don't give in or you'll mae a rod for your own back.

OliviaStabler · 28/07/2018 21:43

Stand your ground! He needs to be taught this lesson; if food isn't available, he needs to cook it himself.

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