To think that quality of life was so much better before

[Icantgetnosleep000]

I love my 9 month old dc1. He brings daily joy to my life

But right now I've had enough

It's probably the heat and the fact I'm abroad at family home where we can't shut Windows or blinds for fear of suffocating

But I used to come here pre baby and have a wonderful relaxing re energising time

This week all I've done is try to get him to sleep four times a day in a hot room

At night he wakes regularly from2-3am so my day is effectively starting then

He just wants to BF or play around with boobs constantly. It's not like he's even happy when he wakes as he's so tired

My DH hasn't joined us yet so despite family help, I'm feeling alone and at breaking point. I'm walking around in a haze from lack of sleep. My days involve just gettin through the hours until bedtime. I'm up patting his bum, being used as a human dummy and crying myself from 3am.

I used to have such a wonderful time here. It's been turned on its head and I honestly can't see any good, just endless days where I navigate from one failed nap to the next.

So AIBU to think, in this sleep deprived moment, that despite the love I feel, and the joyful moments, that objectively quality of personal life pre baby is much much better I'm so sad I feel this way but I think I'm just being realistic. I won't let those feelings pass across to him

Reminds me of my kids’ primary school headmistress. One of the kids shouted “ I hate your guts!” at another child.
“No, no,” remonstrated the head. “You don’t hate him, you simply dislike him.”
“I dislike your guts!” shouted the child, with undiminished ferocity!
Nobody can speak for another’s feelings. OP may well feel her quality of life is lower at present. You can’t tell her it’s just different, that’s not her perception. But it should improve fairly soon as her baby becomes a more interesting toddler and then school age child.

We enjoyed our holiday this year much more with a 2 year old compared to last year with an 11month old. Moving to one nap rather than two made things a lot easier. She also enjoyed playing in the pool a lot more and could stay in for longer before getting cold. We were then able to get 2-3 hours of relaxing time when she slept. The year before I found she was grumpy if she didn’t sleep well during the day but squeezing in two was very restrictive. This year she managed to stay up a bit later we could go out for dinner whereas last year she was howling if she wasn’t in bed by 7.30. It does get easier I promise!

Completely agree with DeadGood.

Life for me was definitely worse with a baby than pre baby. Objectively and subjectively. Mine didn't nap for love nor money and spent much of her time an overtired mess. I didn't regret having her (mostly!) but I didn't enjoy much of it. Luckily, they get older.

My family is lucky enough to own a holiday home by the sea - it has been a really special place for me all my life. The first time I took DC1 there she was three months old, cried constantly and it was a really shit time for me. Felt like my fun life as I knew it had ended. Second time I took her, she was over a year old, just toddling, loved the beach and the rock pools and had a great time. Same child is now 16 and is entirely capable of getting herself there and back on train and connecting bus and pretty self sufficient when she's there, meeting up with local friends. And she loves it there just as much as I do - it's a really special thing for both of us.
Believe it or not, I now feel nostalgic for the "good old days" - not longing for boozy evenings with friends pre-kids as I used to, but for little sandy toes, buckets & spades and farm parks!