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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friday Night Taxi AIBU?

43 replies

JupiterWeb · 27/07/2018 23:15

So bit of back story, my partner and I have been together for almost 5 years, engaged own a house etc. We very rarely go out for the evening and if we do we usually do together. Well tonight is his managers leaving do so he is out and has been drinking since lunchtime! It's already 23:15... I am not a massive fan of driving let alone in the dark! But he is insisting that when he rings I need to go pick him up at whatever time that may be!!! AIBU as this is just a one off? Or should he of made his own arrangements!! Like staying at said manager/friends house!

OP posts:
9amTrain · 27/07/2018 23:19

Why can't he get a taxi?

Original poster
JupiterWeb · 27/07/2018 23:21

It's a 25-30 minute drive, so taxi would be extortionate. Plus I very much doubt he would have any money left to pay for one!!

OP posts:
Rosielily · 27/07/2018 23:21

Tell him to get a taxi then tell him him you're going to bed and turning your phone off!

TroubledLichen · 27/07/2018 23:23

Fuck that. I mean he’s an adult and providing this isn’t a regular occurrence and he’s not a recovering alcoholic or anything like that then the piss up with the work mates isn’t something that should bother you. But no you shouldn’t be spending your night on call ready to drop everything to go pick him up. Tell him to get a taxi.

HollowTalk · 27/07/2018 23:24

He's insisting? Who does he think he is?

NewIdeasToday · 27/07/2018 23:25

He's your partner, not a complete stranger. Why wouldn’t you do something to help him?

Original poster
JupiterWeb · 27/07/2018 23:27

It's not about not wanting to help him but I mean look at the time!!! If it was 9-10 I wouldn't have so much of an issue.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 27/07/2018 23:57

Tbh as a one off I don't see the issue of going to pick him up? Its inconvenient to have to wait up and if he did this every weekend then I could see why you'd be pissed off but as a one off favour I don't see why you're so adamant not to.

Do you work on Saturday's or have plans early tomorrow? If not then would it really kill you to have a late night so that you can save the money he'd be spending on a taxi and help him out this one time?

cariadlet · 28/07/2018 00:23

I'd be pissed off if my DP "insisted" that I stay up to pick him up at whatever time he decided to come home. I think that if I were you (and he still hasn't phoned) I'd text him to let him know that you're going to bed and he'll have to make his own arrangements.

On the other hand, this does seem to be a one off. It's a shame that he didn't show you a bit more respect and ask if you'd mind picking him up at the end of the night. If he'd gone about it differently, showing a bit more appreciation and understanding of the big favour that he was asking, then maybe you'd have felt more like helping him out.

worridmum · 28/07/2018 00:32

Well hope you dont want lifts in the future and have to pay for taxi's if you go drinking because if my partner decided they did not want to pick me up after my rare night out liek fuck i would do them any favours.

Anxious2niteaaah · 28/07/2018 00:54

Does he have enough on him for a taxi home if its going to be expensive?

I think as it's a one off I'd collect him, you can always remind him tomorrow that relationships are give and take, and have him do something for you to return the favour Grin

KatieKittens · 28/07/2018 01:18

I’d collect my partner if it was a one off like this.

Why don’t you call him and say you can’t wait up all night and will collect him now. If he wants to stay out later, tell him he needs to make his own arrangements.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 28/07/2018 01:24

Oh for goodness sake just pick him up - my OH and I pick each other up all the time from nights out, airports, parties, late work meetings - at all times of the day and night - that’s what a partnership is - you help each other out - otherwise what’s the point.

MilkybarGrownup · 28/07/2018 01:39

I'd pick my husband up if he ASKED. I have done before (very rarely though as he drinks once every few years and when he did, I'd offered to pick him up.)

Being told I have to wait up for him to call me when he has decided to come home? Fuck nope.

trojanpony · 28/07/2018 02:52

If he can afford to drink from lunchtime he can afford a taxi
25-30 minute drive, so taxi would be extortionate or alternatively would cost about £50 which he could save by:

  • not drinking next week
-coming home at a decent hour (clearly wasn’t keen for this)
violetbunny · 28/07/2018 03:01

In this situation I'd say I was happy to collect him before X time, if he wants to come home later than that he needs to sort out his own arrangements. My DP would have no problem with this at all.

flamingox · 28/07/2018 03:42

I agree with @violetbunny

If my OH goes out we set a time so if he's ready to come home at or before that time I will go pick him up, if not he sorts himself out.

Sitting round waiting isn't good at all.

gunnyBear · 28/07/2018 03:46

I'd pick them up as a rare occurrence and enjoy the favour returned.

It depends on what you mean by 'insisting' though.

Clairetree1 · 28/07/2018 03:48

why do you have to wait up? Why not go to sleep and let him ring you and wake you later?

Monty27 · 28/07/2018 04:01

I wouldn't. No way.
However this probably means he will have to crash somewhere and do the walk of shame on public transport in the morning or one of his friends bring him back.
I just wouldn't do it because id be so pissed off at him being such a dick I would be having a large gin

Geordiegirl1988 · 28/07/2018 07:30

So what time did you collect him and what state was he in op ?

Stirner · 28/07/2018 07:34

Fuck me. If the sexes were reversed everyone Would be saying that of course a lift should be given. I hope you collected him op.

Oysterbabe · 28/07/2018 07:41

I'd consider this a complete normal thing for couples to do for eachother.

Lethaldrizzle · 28/07/2018 07:43

I wouldn't do that but I also would not ask for a lift also

ChaffyMcChaff · 28/07/2018 08:01

I don't see an issue here...you've said it's a rare occasion so why wouldn't you pick him up? Sure, you should probably have had a conversation about the details beforehand, arranging a time etc...but you didn't 🤷‍♀️. Next time EITHER of you will be requiring a late lift, sort out the details first!

And if you didn't pick him up...well, you can't expect him to do these kinds of favours for you in the future, as you've well and truly burnt your bridges there!

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