To consider offering to be a surrogate?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Fairly sure I may be, but.....

My heart is breaking for my sister. She told us this week that her last round of fertility treatment has failed. She can get pg, but mc at just a few weeks each time. I do not know anymore how many babies she has lost. All she wants is to be a mum.

My body is pretty rubbish in many ways but pregnancy and childbirth seem to be the exceptions. I have 3 dc and physically sailed through pregnancy and birth.

What if I could give her a baby?

Reasons against would include impact on my career as I have a demanding professional job, potential impact on my body, and my MH which is poor in pregnancy.

But then the alternative is selfishly enjoying my own dc, knowing my sister will never have that and maybe I could have helped....

Your IPs (intended parents) are responsible for starting that process and you would just be contacted for a visit to ensure that you don't feel coerced to give 'your' baby up.

The terms medical insurance and Gynae also made me think you were
In America

You would always look on the child as yours.

No, this is not a true statement. Women vary tremendously in terms of how they feel about the unborn fetus inside them. Most women who have been surrogates for relatives or close friends have positive experiences and do not experience confusion about the child being "theirs."

The important thing is that the OP considers and discusses the issues (and potential pitfalls) carefully with her sister, HCPs, lawyers and anyone else concerned, and makes the decision that is right for her. Carefully thought out surrogacy can be an wonderful gift for everyone involved. Of course it is not for everyone.

I would only do this for One woman in the world. And that is my sister. for you.

I wouldn’t do it, there are other options available. The way I see it is that I wouldn’t risk my mental or physical health when I have children that depend on me being mentally and physically well. I couldn’t and wouldn’t risk my life because my children are more important to me than my sister having a baby.

Of course it’s a lovely thing to do if you choose to do so, but this is why I wouldn’t do it

Sorry it was only relevant as the ethics laws etc are different in usa.
You say about your MH issues but I truly think if it’s NOT yur baby your reaction would be different.

My baby is a straight surrogacy one, my friend absolutely did not bond in any way shape or form during pregnancy or birth or after because she disengaged from bonding - she had specific reasons for wanting to help someone have a child.
Anyway. Point being I have read a lot and spoken to a lot of people, they all say that if it’s been a host pregnancy (as in your sisters egg etc) thattheyve genuinely felt happy and protective of their pregnancy but that distance is there as it really really isn’t their child (even though they are still legally the mother at birth)
That the joy of giving a family of making a family outweighs the Hormonal dips etc post delivery
We joined COTS (childlessness oversome through surrogacy) and we’re active on formums and groups and things so that we could have the legal knowledge and also learn from others. I prefer them over surrogacy uk as it’s a more formal type of ‘agency’
You shouldn’t do this out of guilt however. Your sisters family isn’t your responsibility- search forums, speak to surrogates and let yourself recover from your birth fully
Hope this helps