What do you eat if you’re slim?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m sorry but I really don’t know.

I’m very fat and have been yo-yo dieting for years to the point where I don’t know what a normal healthy day-to-day diet is. I know all the various weight-loss diets etc but it’s the normal eating I struggle with.

I’m currently on a LONG weight loss journey and have lost 3 stone so far but I want to keep it off once I’ve lost it.

I like healthy food and a variety of food - I’m just trying to understand what slim people eat on a typical day.

In particular I’m really interested in what you have for family dinners.

I’m hoping things that can be batches cool feature as I need to save time where I can.

Thank you for reading my very boring AIBU

FWIW I have always struggled with my weight and find the only way to stay slim is to eat better food in smaller portions.

I used to tell myself it was genetic : but I actually think it's more cultural : a typical British diet is pretty lousy really. Massive portions of stodge basically. Great if you're a farm labourer, working in an office 5 days a week, not so much.

Not me (I struggle to maintain) but my mum always had what we had but less. Always active in a low key way. Never bothered or attached to food although she likes the odd treat. She's weighed the same for 50 years.

Also I don’t obsess about food.

I wonder why it is, like is it an inherent thing or the way they were brought up or what, I don't know?
^^

Interesting. I think it's the way you were brought up kinda thing - when I was a kid it was a finish your plate mentality, and as if every meal was your last so you had to be really, you really full to bursting - loads of people I know who are slim just had a different upbringing, food was just fuel, you eat until you're just about full.

I’m slim - 5’4 and under 8 stone. Size 6-8. I eat no sugar muesli and full fat yoghurt or toast most days. Nice soup(m&s as they are more like stews with lots of pulses and chunky veg) with added noodles. Then normal meal for dinner - curries/fish/protein with veg and small portion of carbs. I probably do eat small portions though. I don’t really watch what I eat though and if I fancy something I will have it. We eat take aways occasionally, we eat out fairly regularly. But for example if we get a Chinese takeaway we would share a main and rice with a few starters and would have some left over for the next day.

You’re clearly doing something right though if you’ve lost 3 stone that’s amazing. Plus you’re figure sounds gorgeous I would love a bust! I have no boobs at all and my hips/thighs are bigger so although I’m slim I don’t particularly like my body shape and would love to be an hour glass!

OP I started low carbing more than 2 years ago to get rid of 100lbs excess fat. Took a year to achieve and I've maintained since quite easily. I'm more keto nowadays and eat mostly animal proteins, fats and a bit of veg. Occasional very dark chocolate and my own berries in season.

18 stone when I began, now maintain under 11 stone (10.8-10.12). Size 24 to 12, 5.6 1/2".
I Intermittent Fast 18/6 just eating lunch and dinner. I eat when hungry but now I eat fat I'm never really hungry.

Lunch can be bacon and cheese omelette with my own coleslaw mix. Dinner tonight will be roasted salmon, asparagus, sauce made with double cream and tarragon.

No snacking needed. Cutting out carbs was the best thing I ever did after 40 years of low fat dieting, helps me to keep away from the addictive carby foods I used to binge on.

Eat food for fuel and enjoy the many health benefits now.

Portion size is a massive deal I think. I tend to go by the rule of 'grows in the ground (or tree or bush!) it's alright'. I do eat a takeaway every couple of weeks but also don't eat crisps chocolate very regularly. I never drink fizzy pop and I don't eat lots and lots of carbs - although I bloody love a massive huge plate of pasta for a treat!

I'm 5ft 3'' and fluctuate between 8st 12 and 9st 2.

I was 13 stone (obese) a few years ago.

I eat 'brown' (wholemeal) everything... bread, rice, etc.

I only have a slice of toast or a tiny bowl of porridge for breakfast, Andy a strong coffee. I'm just not hungry in the morning.

Lunch: maybe a salad or tuna/chicken sandwich, maybe a few crisps on the side, but never full packet.

Snack: Apple if I'm hungry.

Dinner: A medium sized portion of something like spag Bol cooked from scratch with lean mince.

Night: tea or a glass of wine (just because I'm on holiday) and a mini bar of chocolate or MAX 2 biscuits.

I maintain easily like this, don't feel deprived at all, and even if I do (e.g. Because I don't get an ice cream if I'm getting the kids one) I just remind myself that I prefer being slim to the taste of ice cream.

I think exercise is a bonus, but not as important as people would have you believe. My weighloss was pretty much entirely diet related.

Good luck!

Oh and if I eat something like a Chinese takeaway or half a meal out with all the trimmings, I'll compensate for that by eating less for the next 2 days or so.

It sounds miserable, but if I slip back to old habits, the weight would pile back on

*have a meal out

I'm not slim right now as I'm pregnant!

But when I was slim (5"7, size 10, around 10 stone) I ate along the lines of:

Porridge or overnight oats, with fruit/skimmed milk/0% fat yoghurt
Salads with chicken or cous cous and feta cheese, or a soup. Or an egg mayo and salad whole meal pitta.
Homemade dinners from BBC good food - any recipe really but tended to be less than 500 cals. Vegetarian options are great, but there's loads of tasty filling meals on there for around this amount.

Snacks: piece of fruit, hard boiled egg and ryvita, low fat crisps eg Walkers sunbites or popcorn

Cutting out snacks is really helpful, and I don't tend to drink at home (or only have one on the weekend).

I avoid bread and pasta and only once or twice a wek have rice/potatoes. I don’t eat rubbish I.e. biscuits, sweets, chocolate. I drink water and tea, I dont touch fizzy drinks. I try and make sure two thirds of my diet is veg and some fruit. I focus on cooking vegetables in lots of different, interesting ways.

@Merryoldgoat
This sentence leapt out at me
A real problem is my husband who is a MASSIVE foodie but doesn’t gain weight like me.
My questions are

• what size portions is HE eating

• does he snack
• how active is he ?

Just that if you are having gastronomic meals but snacking as well, the weight will pile on.

If you just have the gastronomic meals with no snacks, half the plate being salad (and a smaller portion as you are shorter than him)
then you might be able to reach a happy place with food

also, how many days a week do you have alcohol ?

My other and final pearl of wisdom, is you have to want to be slim more than you want the cake. I think Liz hurley said it. But tis true.

Whenever I have needed to diet I hang up a dress I can only fit into when I am at my best on the wardrobe as a motivator. I want to be back in that dress more than eat the cake.

@Ta1kinpeace

So, for comparison, we’ve been together 13 years. In that time I put on 6 stone abs he’s put on 2.

He’s more active generally and walks a lot on his commute but since we had kids no regular exercise.

He’s tall, lean and generally tends to slim - even 2 stone heavier it’s not that noticeable.

He’s actually been losing weight with me to support me as he knows how important it is and I think he’s realised how unrealistic it is to have the food he wants to on daily basis.

Seriously - food is his passion and if it were up to him he’d cook a composed two-course meal every night. We have a sous-vide at home and he’s obsessed with it.

He’s got a MASSIVE appetite - I’ve no idea how he’s not as fat as me.

We’ve had a serious talk (when we started the diet) and I said my health had to come before his cooking and he agreed.

I barely drink - maybe 2 units a week and that’s usually gin and slimline. I love booze but it just doesn’t fit in with life with kids so I give it a miss.

Oh, he’s lost the two stone already and is going for another 7lb - he looks amazing already.

The key thing is being sensitive to feeling when you've had enough to eat and not eating unless you feel hungry. Variety, and also phases of just not wanting to eat that sugary or fatty thing because you genuinely don't feel like it.
Perceived fullness after eating is partly determined by hormones, but I understand recent research shows they can be retrained.

(I daresay there are better guides - I don't really know about diet guides - but this page links to various studies about things that may help that: www.healthline.com/nutrition/9-fixes-for-weight-hormones )

As someone who's always been able to 'hear' those I'm not sure how to explain to someone else how to hear them more strongly. Possibly the sort of body awareness learnt through yoga and meditation might help.

Addressing emotional eating issues is surely important, if that's an issue. I don't really know how that's done but there are books and counsellors that help with it.
If someone does other things instead when they feel low, and often finds eating a slightly boring activity that they do only in order to have the energy to keep doing other things - which they want to get on with as soon as they're no longer feeling hungry - it makes a difference.

I think also it's not really being that invested in everyday food and seeing a lot of it as functional. e.g. getting older / can't exercise as much now because of health issues: lets mostly buy the low fat cheese instead, poach the egg instead of frying, stop adding as much sugar to xyz, and not really feeling deprived by it. I mean, there are absolutely fun, nice meals to cook and eat, but some stuff is just fuel.

(I have started to do things like this in the last fortnight after being more liberal about them for a while, as poorer health - long term fluctuating condition - has meant I have put weight on and can't exercise. I just find myself not feeling like eating high fat and sugary stuff. It doesn't feel appetising at all at the moment. I am also being extra careful not to make myself finish food when I'm no longer hungry. It gets saved for later and I try not to prepare as much in the first place. Currently BMI 23, and if I was healthy for a few months and exercising the way I wanted to would be a stone lighter just by doing what I felt like. Some of the lunches listed here would leave me hungry then.)

You'll notice most of these people are eating one-course meals for routine sit down dinners and don't usually eat puddings. I think of puddings as an occasional thing too rather than an integral part of every meal. I remember my mum considering pudding at every meal something one grew out of in one's teens.

I'm confused. If your DH is taller than you and more active then he will obviously not put on weight as easily. Why is it surprising?

Aha, so he is taller .... that makes a HUGE difference.

Both of you work out your TDEE - at current weight and happy weight
www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html
I'll bet the difference between yours and his is about a third of a plate of food.

There is nothing wrong with a sous vide dinner every night
SO LONG AS
your breakfast and lunch are small enough to leave you the calories to enjoy it healthily

so basically you need to stop snacking, try to reduce breakfast a lot and lunch a fair bit
and enjoy being married to a man who loves to cook good food

Someone once told me to put out the meal, and then scape half of it off on to a side plate. No snacking, 3 meals obviously healthy choices but half portions. All home cooked

@Merryoldgoat

My DH also has a huge appetite, but because he is much taller than me he can obviously eat a lot more. The way we have got a round that is that instead of making recipes / portion sizes that suit him (and then end up eating too much myself) we have recipes / portion sizes that suit me and then he has additional snacks. For example, after dinner I may have a cup of tea while he will have a "second dinner" - usually a bowl of fruit, yoghurt and granola.

One other tip I thought of is to only drink water (+ sugarless teas or coffee, if you like it). No fruit juice. No soft drinks. No smoothies. No alcohol.

@haba
The mint dressing recipe is as follows:

Makes 10 servings
5ml dijon mustard
10ml honey
15ml lemon juice
15ml white balsamic vinegar
15ml apple cider vinegar
45ml extra virgin olive oil
1 pack of mint, finely chopped
splash of water
salt and pepper to taste

Dungeon because he eats WAY more. I’m not really ‘surprised’ - I’m just ‘chatting’ I suppose. He eats absolutely immense amounts of food - it’s unreal how much he can put away and he’s constantly hungry and thinking about the next meal.

Obviously his build, metabolism and activity are enough to mean he doesn’t gain like me but it’s a bit surprising he hasn’t put on more.

Men always lose weight quicker and more easily. Bastards.

Breakfast - fruit, Greek or natural yoghurt, granola

Lunch - baked pot, salad or soup and bread

Dinner - smallish meal with protein & lots of veg

No puddings, snacks or crisps. I also only drink water, redbush tea and coffee (my downside is that I have a sugary latte twice a day)

A few drinks out @ pub in the week. Also, I do exercise a few times a week so sometimes have a snack post gym (crackers and guacamole).

DH, 5’9” 11st

Breakfast: Scrambled egg, sometimes with bacon. Occasionally steak and eggs.

Lunch: salad, or leftovers

Dinner: home cooked meatballs, BBQ, chili, veg chili or similar.

His Fitbit says he averages 8000 steps a day